Well if would not be hard to guess what this post is going to be about. Three weeks ago I found evidence of my wife having an EA with a person that see knew 25 years ago and reconnected with over the internet. It turns out that it has been going on for over a year. As others can attest and I so can I that the pain and confusion is like nothing I have experienced. I say that telling you also that my 10 year old daughter passed away from cancer. In trying to make since of anything I searched for answers and found this site. I have been reading the info and looking through the posts and it has been extremely helpful. I am tempted to recount all the gory details but there is no need as it follows the script to a T that so many people have read.
I have so many questions and I plan to post some as individual items. I am currently trying to reach through to my wife and it is not real easy. No shocker there. Basically she has been unhappy for long while. After reading through Dr Harley's material I can see how I failed the relationship. I was not meeting her EN and I compounded the problem with LB's. Now this is where I say I am not a bad person as I have been by her own admission a good father, A faithful and honest husband and a good provider. But as I have now learned that is not enough.So as I mentioned she had been unhappy for a long while and was to outside influences. So in trying to talk to my wife and figure out if we can save our marriage two items (there are more)have me puzzled. Why am I the one who feels guilty and repentive and willing to do what ever it takes save our marriage. And the other is my wife feels that she is not remorseful over her affair because she had every right to try to find some happiness. Obviously there is way more to my story as there is with others but that is for another time. I will say one thing that if I step back and look at this objectively this situations has been a catalyst for deep introspection and interest in understanding human behavior

1) Paragraphs; they aren't just for books.

2) Click notify and have your post moved to "Surviving an Affair" where it will get the time and attention it needs.

I read somewhere that the one who cares least has the power, and I have found it to be true.

MB will give you a plan of action and restore that balance of power.