Since a significant difficulty for betrayed spouses here going to Plan B is a sufficiently willing and qualified intermediary, I would suggest that the Harleys create an "intermediary for hire" program.

Costs should be minimal - perhaps $10 to $40 per month max. to cover data plan enhancements on cell phones or internet access to volunteers. They would handle the logistics of communication - filtering/editing out non-qualified communication, texts, etc. fielding emergency phone calls, etc.

The only problem the Plan B-bound spouse would then have to work out is pick up and drop offs. Scotland has navigated that world quite well.

So perhaps a mentoring session from her other other qualified Plan B-ers would be in order to help the new Plan B-er find their way through the labyrinth of their wayward spouse's unwillingness.

Harleys could offer these programs, make a couple bucks for facilitating the service but most important remove one more excuse from a fearful betrayed spouse on why the program won't work for them.

Heck, being an email IM is something that I would do just for the fun of it. How often do you get access to class-A fogbabble?

Of course, helping is the priority. Frankly, the idea that I can be a spam filter is thoroughly enjoyable.

It is very stressful being an IM.
And, there is the confidentiality issue.

I think confidentiality can be handled through a formal intermediary training that might take all of a couple hours at the most; policy and procedure, and release of information form/confidentiality agreement on the part of the client (betrayed spouse) and the intermediary.

It wouldn't be hard to do this as the Harleys likely already have some of this content in place.

I for one know the stress of finding an IM. A good IM is the essence of a well executed Plan B.

Having experience as both the person going into Plan B, and an IM, I would say that this is a service that could be offered, I just don't know about getting paid to do it. I don't know if that is the right motivator for someone to become an IM.

There are dangers too.

There IS information passed back and forth which is confidential and potentially harmful if misused. I don't know if the Harleys would be willing to open themselves up to this kind of potential lawsuit.

It is possible that people who would be willing to be IMs for someone could post on a thread and the posters could choose them. It is a MUST that someone be an IM to a member of the SAME sex.

I would be willing to become an IM for more posters, but not all. I have my own standards and of course, as everyone, only so much time to devote to IMing.

And I TA with Pep, it CAN be stressful, and is not something to enter into lightly.

ITA Scotland. Same gender, confidentiality, etc.

I also see the point of exposure to lawsuits, mainly because some people will sue anything that moves without justification.

I think what Pep and friends did for a rather uncooperative betrayed spouse a few years ago laid out clearly the difficulties for the volunteer. They took unnecessary abuse from the wayward, and the betrayed spouse just kept stepping in the way making it worse. I think that kind of behavior calls for instant loss of intermediary service. I like your idea of being able to pick and choose for that reason.

I just haven't seen any men step up and volunteer to be intermediaries and Lostman is one who I think would cooperate and benefit tremendously from it - that's why I posted today - it just served to illustrate when there's nobody out there there could be...

I think the money part is mostly a reimbursement more than income. but it also prevents the kind of using people that I saw happen with Pep and Neak and De a few years ago. You don't take a service for granted or abuse it as much if you're having to pay something for it.

KA, all valid points.

I would be willing to help wherever I can. Lemme know.