I am so fed up of hearing all these waywards (my WXW included) whine about how they've never been happy. Or how they never really felt this fairytale romantic relationship with their spouses. It's like they all think everyone else is walking around with great big perma-smiles singing and dancing all the time.

Well, life is hard. And marriage is hard work. And kids are hard work. And paying bills is hard work. And taking care of a home is hard work. And being an adult means to stop acting like a little teenager, stop whining about how unhappy you are, and grow up!

If you're so unhappy, get a divorce. ADULTERY is not the answer. In fact, it will make you a great deal UN-happier.

As a person, you cannot rely on other people to make you happy or expect that they can make you happy. True happiness must first come from within.

Remember what Abe Lincoln said: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Or as my Grandma used to say, "If you're not having fun, it's your own damn fault!"

I miss my Grandma.

TE

The problem is that most people don't know HOW to be happy in marriage and are under the illusion that they can find happiness in an affair. But that is an illusion because affairs don't make people happy, they make them miserable, suicidal, depressed. Happiness is the result of being good, not bad.

If they only knew about Marriage Builders they would find the happiness they seek, and it is a sustainable happiness because it occurs inside the parameters of a marriage.

We are taught by society and most marriage "experts" that romantic love is impossible and THAT is a big part of the problem. It is not true that romance can't be sustained in marriage.

Good rant ITA.

One I've heard from the pulpit a time or two, "God is worried more about your holiness than He is about your happiness."

I think happy, especially as we define it today, is a uniquely American invention. After all, we even documented the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Folks have turned that into I have the right to BE happy, rather than the notion that we are responsible for doing to work that makes us happy.

Like many other things, folks feel entitled to happiness, and they feel if they are not happy, they are entitled to simply take happiness without regard to those from whom they take.

It's really no different than being entitled to other people's money, other people's property or anything else.

Most of what is wrong with America and the world can be summed up in entitlement issues. From the lowest level of the money and power ladder where folks feel entitled to money without working, transferred from the rich to the poor, to politicians and business leaders being entitled to protection from failure by taking money from taxpayers to buy votes or cheap loans the average guy can't get to bail out his bank or business.

I'd say that some just don't know how to be happy, period.

If they were not happy before they got married, why do they think marriage will make them happy?

I think you have to know how to be happy well before you are married before you have a snowball's chance in Texas of being happy after you've married.

Those who think marriage will "complete" them are probably "done" and will be disappointed, not to mention, likely disappoint their spouse.

If you were not happy and complete before you got married, it's unrealistic to expect marriage will suddenly make you either.

Isn't that the TRUTH!!!

But now.....after learning the MB techniques.....(speaking only for myself) I NO LONGER HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR A BAD MARRIAGE!!

The problem is that techniques for maintaining a good marriage are not taught!

The MB techniques.....are a new life for me.....I hope they will be also for my WW in the near future!!

Ya know, I've never thought that life was hard. My thought on that has always been "As compared to what?"

And I've never looked at marriage or family as being 'hard' work. Sure, there have been days when I've fallen into bed, exhausted after a long day of chores, taxiing kids from A to B, volunteering, working...but I never looked at it as being hard. Maybe I define 'hard' differently than you do.

Now. The business of paying bills. That's a necessary evil that I'll never enjoy!

ITA with ML. Of course I do.

And waywards(at least the ones I have seen IRL) seem to revert back to acting like teenagers AFTER they have an A. It's like their brains turn into mush, and they forgot everything from their adult lives. And it doesn't matter if the person is in their 20's, 30's or 50's. It's the same. And all of those people didn't complain about their lives before. Just an observation.

ME: If you were so unhappy, why did you insist we buy the house?

WXW: Because I thought it would make me happy.

ME: Doh!

Maybe your WXW should take some time out of her day and watch the Veggietales "Madame Blueberry". I swear...when will people learn that STUFF won't make them happy?

Great rant! I love your Grandma.

OH MY GOSH!!!....That's the truth!
You just described my Wifes complete attitude over the last year!!!!
AND I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW IT!!
No.....my Best Friend and his wife saw it, our Daughter saw it, MANY others saw it!
At first, I thought it was just me!

Of course the Beatles may have said it best of all:

"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make."

Well, or as Pres. Lincoln said way back when... the problem with females in our society at this time is that too many of them try to emulate Lady Gaga.

Yea facetious, but on other hand I understand what you're saying - entitlement w/o the emotional investment.

Tom

Omg entitlement w/o the emotional investment....how bout this quote from ww
"I think our marriage works much better w/o the intamacy or sex thing "
And 2 days after d day she joked to me that I made a better roomate than a husband......
It truely is a sickness