Pat,
Thank you for the encouragement. What is so amazing about it all is that we know how much God's hand is in this and there is just no question that he will work all out and all we have to do is be amazed!

You dont know how thrilled I am that after all I have been through, I have a wonderful Godly man in my life. A man who wants to have prayer with me at the start and end of each day. A man who tries to make all his decisions based on what God wants.

That I met this man when I was 12 (he was present in my life even before that as he often played with my older brother) and now here he is almost a lifetime later, still here but now deeply in love with me. Something so unexpected and so right and so awsome. God has been so good to me.

Excuse me. I have some questions.

Weren't you just wondering about places to meet men?

So, how many relationships have you had since your divorce? How many men have you gone out with?

How can you be sure this is not an act?

I will admit that the nature of my job makes me a bit cynical about somethings but I see red flags here.

It is great to renew friendships. And I am not saying that nothing permanent will come of this relationship.

I just think this is too fast. Are you sure you haven't just fallen in lust? Jumped at the first man that came along? Even if he is a friend from years gone buy, I would get to know him a bit better.

So, all that said, I hope that he doesn't break your heart. I hope that you really know what you are getting into. I want it to work out for you but to plan a lifetime together when you just met again after over 30 years doesn't seem rational to me.

I hope this works out and wish you all the happiness and love in the world...

but...

Please guard your heart. It seems good, but it does seem quite sudden for you.

And while God is in control of us, we don't need to jump immediatley into spending the rest of your life with somebody you've reconnected with after a thirty year absence. There's alot to find out and that will take time. You need to both make sure you're compatible.

It's easy to fall for the first person who treats you DIFFERENT and BETTER than our x's did.

It's great to be in love. It feels good. It's fun. Alot more fun than what we went thru.

But please...

QUESTION EVERYTHING.

sunrise1

I just wanted to echo justpeachy and cinderella. I just met an old friend of a guy I used to date 30 years ago also. I usually post on Tough Love and someone suggested I read your posts.

A childhood friend gave him my phone number on Saturday. He called me 4 times that day. He talked about how he always cared about me and he knew we would find each other eventually!! And when I didn't talk to him on Sunday, he questioned where I had been. He is acting like we're a couple and we haven't seen each other yet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Now that's scary! I've tried in everyway to let him know I'm not interested and he thinks I'm not being honest with myself!! Ego or Insanity?

Of course, they think they know what we want to hear, and I have to admit it sounds good. Be very careful. You have no idea what has framed his life over 30 years. And don't tell him too much about your life. That's how stalkers are made! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Make sure it's what God wants for you and not a counterfeit. We have to be so careful when we're vulnerable, starting over is not easy.

So, although it appears we're putting cold water on your happiness, in the end that is what we want for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

relady

Thank you so much for your concern. It is appreciated but not necessary in this case.

Cinderella, I havent been wondering where to find guys. I have had several dates with several men over the past 8 months. One, I explored a longer relationship with and yes, he was not honest with me. I did however have doubts about that friendship all along anyway, I had contemplated ending it, and when I found out about his dishonesty I immediately ended it. I truly believe that God cleared my calendar to make way for this wonderful man to renter my life.

Relady, I know it is crazy, unusual, irrational and all the other terms in the book you can think of.....but we are truly in love. His parents were friends of my parents and he has been associated with me and common friends for all his life. What has framed his life are the same values his parents and mine have instilled in us. His father was a minister as was mine. He is not a stalker and I couldnt be more safe in his hands.

It is like those 32 years did not exist at all, other than for us to mature into 2 individuals who have identical values and compatible personalities.

He is also very supportive of my continuing education.

It probably wont be for about 2 years until we get married as it is not practical for him to seek new employment right now (unless God opens the way in that department also, and the way God has orchestrated all other events leading up to our reaquaintance, I wouldnt be surprised if he worked that out too.)

He was here for the weekend again, we spent alot of time laughing and showing him around this area, he has never lived outside of the city ( he really put alot of effort into learning where everything is in preparation for him moving here permanently) We also spent time talking of the changes we are going to make to the house in preparation for our plans to be married. He brought all his tools and fixed a few things immediately that he noticed last week needed repairing.

It has been a crazy 3 weeks. Please keep me in your parayers and thank you for your concern and encouragement.

Smiles,
Dawn

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 07:56 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

Sunrise1

Please just keep a clear head and allow God to direct your steps. The enemy is always lurking and trying to find a way to still our peace. We can never let our guard down. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

God bless you, and I'll keep you in my prayers.
relady

Bumped this up for Karona

God has been working overtime in my life <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> My relationship with God has been so much closer and I am being blessed by it.


My problems with my X are history (although he was particularily nasty during this refinance session, I got thru it and am now a happy homeowner!!!) His problems solely belong to him and God.

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 07:57 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

sounds like you have found your dream soul mate, just like your X did at one point. . . its amazing what rationalizations occur when one is in need of external happiness. . .

dawn,

the quote of he is whom you should have been walking down the aisle with, reminds me of the WS barf that they spew when they meet the OM/W.

good luck, but don't be surprised to see that in six months or more, that there will be differences that will come to light that you never wanted to acknowledge in your haste. . . .

haste does make waste. . .

wiftty

wiftty,
Thank you for your concern but there are differences here. I have been seperated/divorced for 2 years now and he has been seperated/divorced for 6 years. I have known him since childhood and our parents before that. We have compatible backgrounds and the same religious belief,same values and many experiences in common. We had a good relationship in our younger years, but at that age I was too young for him. God is working things out for us and we both know it and are in awe that we have been so blessed.

We have started each day and ended each day with prayer and are patiently waiting for God to lead us, not rushing into anything..no haste other than immediately knowing that this was God's doing.

Be happy for us as neither of us have ever been so happy. It has been a great 6 weeks and I can only see it getting better.
Smiles,
Dawn

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 07:59 AM: Message edited by: sunrise1 ]</small>

Goosebumps!!

Best wishes to you & yours Dawn. Time will tell, right? My "rebound" "fling" with my high school boyfriend & first love is over 3 years and going strong. We will get married, when we're ready. No rush. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Bumping this up.

In 8 days I will be marrying this man It has been seven years and we have had to juggle finances, school, surgery and child support..but finally we will be married and we are both so happy.

I have passed 3 of my medical boards now and I have a job I love with people I love just as much

I don't know how many of my old MB friends are still on here, please check in if you are still here. I have not been here in a long time.

After the wedding I will try to make some time to look around here to help those who are just starting out on this journey.

If you hear loud noises coming out of South Jersey on 9-10-11....it's not another earthquake or a hurricane..it's just the party going on after the wedding

Thank you to all of MB who helped me get through really difficult times.

What a story, Sunrise!
I am very interested in a couple of things.
You originally thought you would get married after a couple of years meeting your long lost man - why that particular length of time?
You wound up going 7 years before tying the knot (is my math right?). Why did you wait so long (I realize you were in school, but still.)
What have been some of the highs and lows of the relationship in the meantime -- it seems you are both Religious, but I wonder what influence MB/Harley has had on your relationship.

Congrats on your new degree! and...
HAVE A GREAT WEDDING!!!!

optimism

The reasons were mostly financial. I was out of work for 7 months after my surgery, school loans to repay and I couldn't afford to give up my alimony at that point. I have only been secure in my job for the last 10 months.

He was still paying for child support and college and was not able to find a job in my area. His boss has now agreed to let him telecommute which will really work well, he will not have to commute 100 miles to NYC. Pray that that works out for us. Even though the owner of the company said telecommuting is fine, his immediate supervisor is not happy about it. Hopefully she will not give him trouble over it.

God Bless you and your soon to be husband.

Congratulations, Sunrise. I wish you both a long and happy marriage!