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Maybe but you're from NY so I just figured that was the way you talked and looked over it lol. The thing is, even if the WW very much deserves to be called whatever, if you verbally attack a man's wife, wayward or not, they are going to defend her PERIOD. BTW, I do appreciate you and HHH being here as well as the rest of the posters. This site is a God send for very many people. you were the worst offender in my thread about trashing my WW
I thought I took that honor, LnT!
And even though Trip can defend himself, let me make the following point: Very often the BS (and I'll even specify BH) comes here in such shock ("That can't be my wife's actions,...It must be a mistake,...She must have meant/done/ implied/said something else!") that their internalization of what is actually being done to them by the skank-ho is painfully, obviously flawed. Using language such as I just did tends to strip away the rose-coloured specs and reveal that a WW is what her actions define her to be, not what the BH chooses to remember her as having been.
Calling a skank a skank will have no effect if she's not.
Me = BH
DDay Dec. 2010
D filed Oct 2011 (by me)
D final 3/16/12
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...if you verbally attack a man's wife, wayward or not, they are going to defend her...
Maybe.
Maybe not.
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Maybe but you're from NY so I just figured that was the way you talked and looked over it lol. The thing is, even if the WW very much deserves to be called whatever, if you verbally attack a man's wife, wayward or not, they are going to defend her PERIOD. BTW, I do appreciate you and HHH being here as well as the rest of the posters. This site is a God send for very many people. you were the worst offender in my thread about trashing my WW
I thought I took that honor, LnT!
And even though Trip can defend himself, let me make the following point: Very often the BS (and I'll even specify BH) comes here in such shock ("That can't be my wife's actions,...It must be a mistake,...She must have meant/done/ implied/said something else!") that their internalization of what is actually being done to them by the skank-ho is painfully, obviously flawed. Using language such as I just did tends to strip away the rose-coloured specs and reveal that a WW is what her actions define her to be, not what the BH chooses to remember her as having been.
Calling a skank a skank will have no effect if she's not. No, LNT, you are right. I was wrong to insult your wife - and my intentions gave me no right to do so. I'm guessing I'd still be picking my teeth out of the toilet today had I said such a thing to your face. Dr. Harley doesn't speak so poorly of other people's spouses, and I should expect better of myself. I am sorry, LNT.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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It's a beautiful thing .... learning from our mistakes.
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I do recall, during one of our first counselling sessions, my bride foggily saying that she thought that if I discovered, and objected(!), to her actions, I would approach her with my concerns quietly, and discuss them.  This tickled me a great deal. What like, 'Pass the salt dear and oh if you wouldn't mind I object to your adultery, stop that wont you my love?!' when I first came here, you expressed that you and the posters on MB held no contempt for my WH. That you fought ADULTERY, and that if he were to come here, you would help him. I think its really important to keep in mind that the A is the enemy not the wayward. The affair HAS taken possession of the wayward for a time, but it may not be forever. When I call waywards crazy, loony and untrustworthy I am talking about gollum, not smeagol (if you dont mind me using the lord of the rings as an analogy) I think we must always remember that we must help smeagol where we can to free themselves from being gollum.
Last edited by indiegirl; 01/22/12 03:14 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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NG,
My story was the opposite; she expected rage and was met with calm.
Homework; view the movie Equilibrium.
I'll type up the analogy when I get home.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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My story was the opposite; she expected rage and was met with calm. My story is in the NG camp. He is the yankee dawg version of ME. Sans the big hair and suthen accent, of course.... 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My story was the opposite; she expected rage and was met with calm. My story is in the NG camp. He is the yankee dawg version of ME. Sans the big hair and suthen accent, of course.... I was sent to "anger management" at a very young age due to my temper. Now, when my rage-o-meter maxed out, all of my emotions flatline. I become very calm, cold, and logical. Not, however, in a "good" sense. Think of the TV show Dexter, and Dexter doing his "work." In Equilibrium, the human population drugs themselves to do away with all emotion. One of their enforcers turns. When he finds out he was living a lie towards the end, they have him on something like a polygraph to see if he is "feeling." When the SHTF, the graphs flatline, and all the guards can say is "Oh, shiiiiii..." Not violent, no shouting... Just very stone-like.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Thank you HHH. I did understand what you were trying to do and I thank you for all your efforts to help me and the other BS's of this board.
Me = BH
DDay Dec. 2010
D filed Oct 2011 (by me)
D final 3/16/12
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