Hey ya'll... I realized today that I should update to let everyone know WHY MB didn't work for me, just in case any new folks saw this thread and said, LOOK IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK

I had a kind of epiphany a few days after making the decision to D. I just couldn't figure out why, oh why didn't the program work for me.

Turns out my WH fell off the wagon, so to speak. Drugs during the A and he returned to alcoholism (hid it really darn well, too!!) about halfway through it. I guess I was so concerned with the infidelity alien inhabiting him, I blew off the other signs.

He finally went true NC on July. Still in D, though. He refuses to hit AA again, and I won't stay married to an alcoholic. I'll have him out of my house very very soon. I'm buying my own house (yay me!) and should be all over with in the next couple of months

I still hang around, my geekiness does come in handy sometimes and knowledge is golden AND I imagine I'll be hitting the divorcing board soon with TONS of questions!

So, in closing (for you newbies) MB does not work until there are no OTHER addictions. Take care of those and you CAN recover, better than before.

TickyTock, I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I still consider you a success. It sounds like divorce is the definition of success here. Thanks for the update.

Tink (remember me over at OI?),

You are a smarty gal. Dammit. I wished a better path for you and that xxxx, but I'm glad you are OK and doing well.

You've helped me a lot here with your geekie knowledge (you've no idea! I read 99% more than I post), so stay close as you see fit here at MBs. See you on OI.

Prayers to you, Ticky.

Thanks, ML. I feel like a success I am stronger than I've ever been and it feels good. Oddly enough, it was the A that really woke me up... I was fogged out beyond belief. But that's a story for the Alanon boards!

Surfer, I'll be hanging around... sharing whatever I can on OI and here. I'm trying to compile a list of resources I used for info digging, I just gotta remember them.

Sometimes recovery is a self recovery TT. It was for me, and sounds like it will be good for you too! wishing you and the children a new beautiful future.

Thanks for the update, TT, you are recovering yourself and that is what matters. Good for you!

My divorce was final May 15. It's over, finally.

WXH is still living with OW, claims he wanted to leave her months ago but I wouldn't let him come home. Whatever. He's still foggy, I no longer care.

I'm greedy, selfish, bitter and implacable but I'm the happiest I've been in YEARS. I just have no interest in men, at all. Until the need to have the male persuasion crawl over fire naked to prove loyalty goes away, I'll keep to myself

I got a puppy, instead. Any if any of ya'll know about Dobermans, then you know that I have my hands very full with a teething puppy.

If I can impart any wisdom at all, ladies, DO NOT do an extended plan A. If you have any interest in recovering your marriage, listen to everyone here and the Harleys.

And for those BWs with addicts, Plan A is useless, they will walk all over you and NOT remember it. Plan B. Do it now, get them to sober up. They WILL remember that and thank you for it in the future.