It has been a long time since I really updated. Hard to believe it has been a year (middle of August) since I met my dh.

Our marriage is going so well. I have said this before but it bears repeating....I always knew my first marriage was bad, but I had NO IDEA how good a good marriage could be.

There are blended family issues....ds11 and dss10 clash at times but they spent 6 weeks together and I had very little trouble with them. Dss14 worked with dh in hard physical labor for the 6 weeks we had the boys. So that was excellent. Good for dss14 to learn things his dad can teach, good for them to have the travel time in the truck on the way to work each day (45 min each way) and good for dss14 to make some money.

Biggest issue in my life continues to be ds11 not wanting to go to his dad's. I try to stay out of it as much as possible. His dad RARELY lets him totally skip, but is usually willing to trade, so if I am agreeable to trading we do that when ds wants to in order to not miss something going on in his life.

I've encouraged ds11 to use words with his dad---not just acting out in anger. So boy did he. He told his dad he was furious at him for ruining his life by having an affair and by forcing him to be around OW. One night XH brought ds home and talked to me after ds went inside...XH looked....crushed....he couldn't believe ds would say those things to him. He said, 'I'm the one that has lost everything. Looks to me like everyone here (gestured to my home) is doing fine.'

XH has limited ds's exposure to OW for about 6 months now. Ds is MUCH happier with that. He has only seen her about 2 hours worth in months.

Ds11 is going to counseling...I think it is helping....although he doesn't like going AT ALL. Tells me it makes him feel worse. I relayed that to the counselor and he said that is because it is painful to discuss the things they are discussing.

Ds11 likes dh very much. Hops in the truck and goes with him to do things, asks him questions all of the time on various topics. Kids with him. He is still very jealous of me and dh....says things to me about wishing he still had me all to himself. I've been up front with ds that yes in our life with his dad it WAS just ds and me, but that is not normal for a father to not be involved. And that as much as I love him, I am more than just his mother and I have other relationships than just mother/son.

One day he heard me discussing changing my name on a bank account and it lead to a discussion on life insurance and he was shocked to realize that if something happened to me he would go live with his dad. I said, 'yes son, he is your father.' He sat in stunned silence and I said, 'who would you WANT to go live with?' He didn't miss a beat and said dh. And he told dh one day, 'I wish my dad was as nice as you are.'

My dh's has a big family and I'm getting to know them more one on one. One single sister and I are becoming close and that is another added benefit.


I love my life.

I needed to read this. I am beaming for u. What an awesome update.

And ((your ds)). Sounds like a precious boy.

Thank you. He is.

Did you divorce get final?

SW, thanks for the update, that's awesome

Probably later this fall. I'm purposefully dragging it out to delay the upcoming nuptials. gag

Don't blame you there.

However, I would encourage you to look toward the future with optimism. Your future can be bright and wonderful. You are young. It is possible you will find a wonderful husband soon and have babies one way or the other. My brother married his childhood sweatheart recently. She was told she would never have kids. She just gave birth to my nephew this year---she also turned 40 this year! So life is full of surprises.

You really dodged a bullet by not having children with your WH. You can heal faster when you do not have to have any contact with him---like I do with my X because of our son.

Looking forward to seeing how your life goes now.

Oh trust me. I definitely am. Just since July have I gotten to this point. I am VERY excited about the future.


I wish I had a nickel for EVERY TIME I've heard a similar story since announcing my D. It is truly unbelievable really. So many people have encouraged me by saying things like "God knew what a monster your POS was going to turn into, so he shielded you from having COM with him." Boy, I hope this is true. I seriously don't EVER plan on remarrying, but if God has another plan and I DO remarry, I hope I pop one out rather quickly. That would be just FABULOUS for POS to hear through the grapevine.

Bless you, SmilingWoman. Thanks for sharing your successes!

Hooray SM! Keep on keeping on!!