Oh my! That even made my stomach queasy.

I suspect that WWs who don't want their husbands here, don't want the consequences (to themselves) of their husbands knowing the full truth.

Oh my... as much as I struggle in Plan B, reading this makes me very very VERY grateful for it!

He doesn't have to know your posting name. Ask him to come here.

Sunny, exactly what advice have you followed? No point appreciating advice if you don't follow any of it.

The posters offering you advice have experience in rebuilding marriages... many of them have have rebuilt their own marriages or helped others rebuild theirs. Look at the amount of posts some of them have made, all in an effort to save an anonymous person's marriage.

Your husband needs to be here for them to help. Your husband needds advice just as you do. As mentioned, youd don't need to tell BH you are posting.

Sunny, if you continue the way you are right now, where do you see yourself in 6 months? 1 year? 2 years? I will tell you that if you continue this way you will be divorced, or on your way. You will be a shadow of who you could be. You will NOT be happy.

Now, if you follow what these posters have taken the time to advise you to do, you will be a better person. Your life will be BETTER than you have ever dreamed.

You not recovering your marriage doesn't affect anyone of us in a personal way, at all, BUT we are all here trying to help YOU. Think about that.

So he is okay with you continuing the affair with OM? If that's the case, let us know. Because there are a lot of people who want us to help them eliminate the OP from their marriage. If your husband is comfortable with interacting with OM, and you don't get the point about not having interactions with him, then you guys are good to go.

Which makes me wonder why you're here in the first place. Because if what I outlined above is the case, you are wasting the time of the posters here, and I have absolutely no patience for that.

Respond, please (unlike your non-responses to my other posts.)

I'm still interested in getting an answer to this...

So u guys all believe if we don't move there is no hope in recovering. Because we see his kids on a daily bases and once in a while might see him across the hall and eventhough he has said he'd never stay in the way and goodbye and has a gf and won't talk to me is not good enough?

I come back to say this because you seem to need it.

Whenever you see OM, you remember the good things about him. You remember the way he smiled or a compliment he gave you or a funny thing he said.

It is like a crackhead fantasizing about how good a hit would feel.

You will not go through withdrawal.

You will not recover. How many times must we say it?

It might be of value if posters, when initiating threads, could put STOP signs at the opening to explain what, or from whom, they do NOT want to hear. I would suggest that the following would apply to this thread:

GloveOil, TheRoad, Celtic Voyager, and I have each posted here, with questions and/or pointed suggestions, and have never received so much as an acknowledgement, much less a response. I guess that a WW really would have no concerns regarding what a BH might have to say about her transgressions, or paths to recovery. (And now I can't find that "Heavy Sarcasm" sign.....)

Whaddaya say guys, wanna go get a beer?

What do HIS actions have to do with your actions and feelings?

He may be ignoring you, but you most certainly are not ignoring him. You think of him constantly and you WANT to see him

What you need is - Out of sight, out of mind.

But stop kiding us here, SS. You like fantasizing about him and arent willing to go without that.

You are responsible for your own actions and state of mind!!!

Saying - oh its ok, OM is going to take care of my conscience for me, is ludicrous.

My hb went to a church councilor who gave him more understanding about emotional affairs. How I feel? I feel withdrawn, sad, but I don�t think I�m depressed. How could OM meet emotional needs and become important to me when I was basically a way to use time up to him. He liked my attention and shared many life and childhood stories with me. Why would someone do that with someone who meant nothing to them. I don�t understand. My mind is constantly thinking of OM. I can�t get away from it but want to. I bonded with his children, took care of them a lot since mother didn�t. I became close with all of them. Now that�s all changed and they�re gone. I don�t have a clear head anymore and struggle with focusing with what�s important (my family). I don�t like myself or how I feel or how I�m hurting my hb who�s lost a lot of weight. I don�t care about myself anymore and feel unhappy when I have so much in life (a house, family, luxury toys) and shouldn�t feel that way. I don�t want to feel distant from my hb but I do. Why don�t I want his affection? When will it come back? Do I need to go on a prescription to help get my old life back?

Are you still in any kind of contact with OM, sunny?

I slipped a few times and contacted him. I'm having a hard time forgetting him.

How can we help you, sunny? You came here over a month ago to get advice. You didn't like what you heard and refused to follow it. Now you're back, wondering why nothing has changed. Nothing has changed because you've changed nothing!

I'm not sure why you are posting here if you're going to refuse to follow the advice you are given.

I'm trying to, maybe a prescription would help perk me up and not think about it.

Sure, you could see a doctor about getting meds to help with depression.

But until you take bold action to establish no contact with OM I suspect you will remain in your state of limbo.

You want Dr. Harley to perscribe no contact?

You keep doing this to yourself by contacting him. Each time you do, you start back at day one.

ok I get it.

What are your triggers? What makes you think of him? Do you have gifts, notes, keepsakes, songs, photos etc? What circumstances were you in when you contacted him? what methods did you use? Have you been waiting for him to contact you (be honest) and is it possible for him to do so?