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#2543014 09/11/11 08:35 AM
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Today is the day.

10 years ago today, I began to suspect beginning of the end of my life as I knew it.

I hate this time of year. It triggers me worse than true d-days... and the most terrible thing about it is that I cannot tell ANYONE IRL about it for fear they'd see me as a selfish, puling brat for making this day about something *I* feel instead of dwelling on what we all lost.

10 years ago today I watched the towers fall and turned to my husband who I thought loved me more than anything in the world...Lord knows, I felt that way about him...and I felt only coldness and hardness, and honestly, an emptiness in him. I pulled away and looked at him and couldn't understand why he wasn't comforting me...and why HE didn't need comfort. That harbringer brought about 7 years of torment and agony and fear in my life.

So I sit here and refuse to post on FB where I was and what I was doing. I REFUSE. I accidently flip through a channel that shows the towers burning and start bawling and my kids think it's because of the loss.

...and it's about loss, all right.

It's about losing somthing I'll never get back...whether I stayed or left, it was gone forever.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2543018 09/11/11 09:01 AM
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dealan-de}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Dealan-de #2543019 09/11/11 09:03 AM
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Yes.....time just ticks on by.

It is great you two are working the marriage and got through/are getting through the affair mess together.








reading #2543021 09/11/11 09:18 AM
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(((Dea)))

Here, we understand.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2543022 09/11/11 09:19 AM
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>Misplaced compassion gives power to evil...

Totally stealing this.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2543023 09/11/11 09:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
>Misplaced compassion gives power to evil...

Totally stealing this.

Be my guest. We see that in play every day here. Unfortunately.

Hoping you are staying clear of the fires up there, friend.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2543024 09/11/11 09:40 AM
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>We see that in play every day here. Unfortunately

Lived it. If I had hardened my natural instincts to help on d-day number 1 (and found here), I doubt there'd been a d-day #2.

>Hoping you are staying clear of the fires up there, friend.

Yes, ma'am...The oldest young'un works in Bastrop and his dad and step mom lost EVERYTHING but each other and their faith in the fires. While I am ambivilant towards the ex nowadays, I think his spouse is one of the sweetest, most good natured people on the planet and feel terrible that this happened to them. They were unable to grab even their photo albums, so I'm scanning the oldest's baby pics for them. Little losses like that weigh heavy...sometimes more heavy than the work it takes replacing the mundane things like dishwashers and chonies.



I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2543028 09/11/11 10:29 AM
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{{{{Dealan-de}}} You can tell us. We understand.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

maritalbliss #2543058 09/11/11 02:03 PM
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(((Delan-de))))

I understand more than you think I do. Truly do and you are amazing.

Just want to tell those who are here today struggling with this situation, going thru adultery or even maybe a divorce, that we should learn a lesson from those who walked into those burning and crumbling towers 10 years ago today.

They weren't afraid to save lives. They weren't afraid to do the hard work, to get dirty, to bleed, or to make a sacrifice if they had to. They were there to pull out of the wreckage as many survivors as they could.

and today this is YOUR CHARGE. You are to do whatever you can, do ALL YOU CAN, to help your families as they are under fire right now. Help your children. Help your wayward spouse.

And do as Melodylane wrote so eloquently a few days ago, come out "carrying them with you on your back". You are the marriage first responders.

Your job is to save what you can. And if and when you must face a loss, you still save your children and you stand up for them, keeping them from harm, immorality, and a lifetime of growing up not knowing the truth of what happened to them.

Our situation calls for us to be brave. To stand tall, upright, and look into the storm ahead of us and not hesitate. We walk into that storm and we do what is RIGHT.

May Gods' peace be with you today. And may God bless the families of those lost in 9/11, and may they find His presence today surrounding them.

Last edited by peachyisback; 09/11/11 02:03 PM.

Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
Dealan-de #2543071 09/11/11 03:26 PM
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Dealan-de, thank you for sharing. As Scotty and bliss pointed out, you are understood here. What a terribly symbolic day.


Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
V_planifolia #2543145 09/11/11 09:45 PM
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{{{{{{My dear friend}}}}}}


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Neak #2543169 09/12/11 04:35 AM
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All I can give is a great big hug dear one hug

I am sorry I did not see this earlier, however like you and too many others, it was not my most favourite anniversary for many reasons and I tend to keep to myself at home with the TV and radio off.

But remember what you have NOW too, its not necessarily better or even God forbid worse, just different.

In the words of one who thinks you are as dinky die as Ned Kelly "F... that mate, lifes for living cause yer a long time dead" faint


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

aussieswife #2543206 09/12/11 07:45 AM
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A big hug and smackeroonie to you. hug

tl

thndrnltng #2543385 09/12/11 04:26 PM
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>We walk into that storm and we do what is RIGHT.

My dad always said, "Look around and see if anyone is doing the right thing. If not, then it's up to YOU!"

What he failed to mention that doing the right thing sometimes hurts like a booger.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2543386 09/12/11 04:27 PM
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Oh. And I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Dealan-de #2543389 09/12/11 04:30 PM
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Ohhhh I like that. I just may need to steal that. And I don't know about everybody else but I like you lots too.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2543392 09/12/11 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Scotland
Ohhhh I like that. I just may need to steal that. And I don't know about everybody else but I like you lots too.
eh, she's okay dance2

Actually, I love her more than she loves her luggage! She is the bestest friend a girl could ever have! Well, except for Pep, and Scotty and MF and....


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Dealan-de #2543393 09/12/11 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
>We walk into that storm and we do what is RIGHT.

My dad always said, "Look around and see if anyone is doing the right thing. If not, then it's up to YOU!"

What he failed to mention that doing the right thing sometimes hurts like a booger.
Honey, I am LIVING right there with you the "do it right" life and it hurts buckets full. kiss hug


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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It's not the easy thing when you're going thru this mess, but in the end, you find that taking the right path WAS really the easier path.

But you only see that in retrospect as you look at how far you actually came.

Hugs and I love everybody here!

Last edited by peachyisback; 09/12/11 04:58 PM.

Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall

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