Two days before our 27th anniversary, my husband tells me wants a seperation. He then makes reservations to go see a woman in another state who is from our area where they recently hooked up at her fathers funeral. This is someone from way in his past. I was devestated. He later canceled his reservations after seeing a lawyer, but, I then discovered their phone calls that lasted for hours. I then remembered me catching him talking to her bragging to her his income, not to worry about me and a whole lot of bull in the middle of the night the week before. I understand this woman is a piece of work. I exposed it, and, now he wants nothing to do with me. Practically kicked me out of our home - but I refused to move my stuff - just enough to camp out at one of my mothers rental apts to get away from his meaness and bullying. I just retired early (52) after a 34 year career and I am so devistated and hurt. I didn't have to retire, but, he let me and then did this. Any words of wisdom appreciated. He's turning 55 and seems to be in a mid life crisis and can't find what he is looking for. But, he told me he doesn't love me anymore and he wants to be free. I'm so lost.

I see you have been on the forums since 2009, so at least you know moe of what you have been dealing with and are familiar with the various similar situations faced.

Everything he says, has said is script of a person addicted to their affair partner.
If you have the book Surviving An Affair, read it over and over again to get you through this mess and if you don't have it....buy it quick!
Get back into the house and be the best woman you can be. For you. To show yourself what you are made of.
Be a good woman, wife, no love busting (read up on disrespectful judgements, angry outbursts and selfish demands) and prepare to go to marriage builder's plan B.
Line up your finances so you have money to live on and to keep protected assets as much as you can. Line up a person who can be an impartial intermediary. Write a plan B letter (love and road map back to you, should he ever be capable of it) and
then have HIM leave so you can remove yourself from the madness and drama of his affair.

You are right in that I've been on this forum before since 2009. That is when things go bad. I thought we had it all worked out and were happy. This came as a total surprise. In all honesty, I can't keep up my home, and, it has never been finished. He had other priorites and just wouldn't do it. So, if he will take the house it is better for me. I've offered just about everything to try and make it work, but, it is like he suddenly hates me and is jeleous that I retired and he can't. He plays in a band, and, he is very ate up with it. Hard for me to hang out 2 and 3 oclock on weekends in a bar to hang with him, plus, I've worked so hard to retire and in a man's world, I'm worn out. I just retired two weeks ago when this started to unfold. SO, I never had a chance to have time to do the wifey things he wanted. He did get plenty of blow jobs and sex. And, I always cooked for him.

BeepBeep, I just replied to your most recent thread.

You have habit of starting threads and then not following through with the advice given, or posting simply to blog (it seems to me).

On another thread, you were told to expose the affair further and not to go on a trip to see your son. You simply abandoned that thread without coming back for advice. You should never have left your home and should have concentrated on the affair-busting steps: Plan A for a short time, whilst preparing to go to Plan B. If he had not stopped his affair after about 4 weeks, you should have got him out of the home and you should have gone to Plan B. You should be in Plan B now, whilst living in your home and having him pay towards its upkeep. If you cannot afford to keep the home, it should be sold in a proper manner, with you getting your share of the assets. You should not be living in a "temporary" apartment - he should be.

Are you going to follow up my advice to move back into your home?