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Y'all are all making my [censored] hurt!! cryI am going to go work out and then spend time with my cute husband! flirt


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Giving time, energy, and thought to things which are not deserving - and maybe revising so that it happens less?...
smile Well, it's a "rants" thread after all... If I see a stray bull$hit-balloon and want to waste a few mins taking a potshot at it once in awhile, what better place than here? And it's my day off, W&I played tennis and I ran 2 miles, and the lawn is mowed, and there's gas in the car & the bills are paid, and I'm thawing the salmon for dinner, and she's taken the kids out for some last-minute school-supplies, so I've got the time to waste, and that's my business...

HHH, what are we gonna see from the Seahawks this year?

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Originally Posted by GloveOil
[... If I see a stray bull$hit-balloon and want to waste a few mins taking a potshot at it once in awhile, what better place than here?

Amen, Amen and Amen! And I must add that your posts on the thread in question were pure masterpieces! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Ok I'll start..

Rant is people who use use the word responseability and do not realize its two words put together..

Response-ability.

Example.."Your are just not responseable!"

OK, are we saying they are not able to respond? Or are we saying they don't know how to?

We lump it up with doing you chores, pulling your weight, cleaning up your messes,(MB make sure you pick up your pizza boxes BTW OK?), but shouldn't we just say clearly, you have to change your way of thinking?

Big words come from small ones, and if you don't know the small ones,(like NO), they are just noise.

That word, responsible, is the description of someones character who has been taught how to respond appropiatly in the first place. It does no good to yell at your kid and tell them they aren't introspective enough when they they havn't ever heard the word, and are 10 years old.

Ah how we all need to be taught, and how it comes from the simple to the complex, in order for it to be valueable and mean something


Hows that HHH for nutty?

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Y'all are all making my [censored] hurt!! cryI am going to go work out and then spend time with my cute husband! flirt
rotflmao rotflmao and rotflmao

Hey thought you were gonna go spend time with H?

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Y'all are all making my [censored] hurt!! cryI am going to go work out and then spend time with my cute husband! flirt
rotflmao rotflmao and rotflmao

Hey thought you were gonna go spend time with H?

I'm going, I'm going!!! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by GloveOil
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Giving time, energy, and thought to things which are not deserving - and maybe revising so that it happens less?...
smile Well, it's a "rants" thread after all... If I see a stray bull$hit-balloon and want to waste a few mins taking a potshot at it once in awhile, what better place than here? And it's my day off, W&I played tennis and I ran 2 miles, and the lawn is mowed, and there's gas in the car & the bills are paid, and I'm thawing the salmon for dinner, and she's taken the kids out for some last-minute school-supplies, so I've got the time to waste, and that's my business...

HHH, what are we gonna see from the Seahawks this year?

W and I have talked about it. We want to take my dad if we do.

Being a life-long fan of Seattle teams is rant worthy in itself.



"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Ok I'll start..

Rant is people who use use the word responseability and do not realize its two words put together..

Response-ability.

Example.."Your are just not responseable!"

OK, are we saying they are not able to respond? Or are we saying they don't know how to?

We lump it up with doing you chores, pulling your weight, cleaning up your messes,(MB make sure you pick up your pizza boxes BTW OK?), but shouldn't we just say clearly, you have to change your way of thinking?

Big words come from small ones, and if you don't know the small ones,(like NO), they are just noise.

That word, responsible, is the description of someones character who has been taught how to respond appropiatly in the first place. It does no good to yell at your kid and tell them they aren't introspective enough when they they havn't ever heard the word, and are 10 years old.

Ah how we all need to be taught, and how it comes from the simple to the complex, in order for it to be valueable and mean something


Hows that HHH for nutty?

Perfect. I know you are my copilot on the nut wagon! (Or the pilot, or I am... Or me!)

Oh, there is a nice little article introspection from the same place that I didn't link.

Ah, my delusions of grandeur, of course I love finding a place to celebrate them!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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RANT of the day for Scotty.

Posters who worry too much about scaring another poster off of the boards. While it is VERY beneficial to have a lot of different people posting on this board as we can ALL learn the concepts better, the posters here should be posting in line with MB principles and concepts. If there is a poster who is posting about how they are going to do things "their" way, and someone calls them on it, it is the RIGHT thing to do, ON THESE BOARDS.

I am not scared to "scare off" someone who isn't willing to even listen to MB advice, or use it. This is a place to discuss MB and all that it entails. Do other things come up? Of course, but it isn't acceptable when it comes at the EXPENSE of MB principles and advice.

When someone is ready to use MB, they won't be scared off easily. When someone understands MB, they become a great asset to this board and all of the fellow posters and lurkers. To all of THOSE posters, I thank you.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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The rant for every day:

EXPOSE!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Originally Posted by Scotland
I am not scared to "scare off" someone who isn't willing to even listen to MB advice, or use it. This is a place to discuss MB and all that it entails. Do other things come up? Of course, but it isn't acceptable when it comes at the EXPENSE of MB principles and advice.

Scotland, I think its very tempting sometimes to tell people what they want to hear when they see that poster squirm about using the MB concepts. They want to give the person some relief. Unfortunately, that kind of relief is usually harmful in the long term and is not very compassionate. I try to take the long view and ask myself where this person will be in the future if I tell him what he wants to hear rather than what he needs to hear. To me, that is true support.

And you are right, wild horses cannot scare off someone who is serious. And if someone is scared off because they don't want to use Marriage Builders, then there is nothing we can for them anyway.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
The rant for every day:

EXPOSE!

Amen to that. What I can't live in in the light I don't want.

I am not of course touting all other sorts of embarassing issues, personal skeletons long gone and dealt with, which is what the WSs seem to want to sell everyone when exposure is done. Of course that is petty and obvious.

Exposure is a call for intervention, in something dangerous, and absolutly not nessesary. If they were not afraid of the light, they could have got a divorce in the light.

The main reason I stayed, was I knew where she was headed, and becuase my children. I should have exposed again and again to everybody and left finding support to take the kids away.

To bad I didn't look for help.

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I think every thread tonight is "I am too chicken chit to expose."

Come on people just EXPOSE. It will do you wonders, and may save a marriage!!!!

Last edited by itistoughlove; 09/07/11 05:40 PM.
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Couple that with ---

I dont like to tell the truth to MYSELF - never mind everyone else!!!!


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I try to take the long view and ask myself where this person will be in the future if I tell him what he wants to hear rather than what he needs to hear. To me, that is true support.
....if someone is scared off because they don't want to use Marriage Builders, then there is nothing we can for them anyway.

I agree with you on both accounts. hurray


BH(Me)= 55
WW(Her)=43
DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!)
Married=13 yrs
Together=16.5 yrs
THIS IS MY STORY
WW moved out of the home = May 1,2011
D-Day=July 4, 2011
Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!.....as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!
"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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Okay, I've got a rant. When a new poster comes to this site, they need - and should have- their own thread. That thread is their lifeline, and our best way to help them.

There was a poster who came here, with his own problem. Another poster commiserated with him, confirming that the affair was horrible and worse than rape or assault. Suddenly, out of the BLUE, another poster showed up to take exception to that post. The poster claimed to have been a lurker for quite some time, and was upset because she was an abused spouse who thought that abuse was worse.

Okay. THEN START A THREAD ABOUT YOUR ISSUE. Especially when you are invited to start your thread by more than one poster! (And you promised you would...and then...crickets.) Why did you NOT POST A THREAD?? I can only surmise that you have NO INTEREST in having help for your issue. Your only interest was to come here and disrupt a thread - shame on you!

There are way too many posters who need help for someone to come online and interfere on a thread with posts about portions of Dr. Harley's program that you don't like. WHILE YOU'RE ON HIS WEBSITE, DUH! crazy

If you want to debate Dr. Harley's concepts, START YOUR OWN THREAD. I am embarrassed to say that I posted back to this poster, and then realized that I was ALSO disrupting the poster's thread with this crap. I deleted my post.

But I can't let this go without comment.

I am thoroughly PO'd at this poster. Her intent was obviously to respond in a negative way to another poster. Fine. Take it outside. DON'T DISRUPT A POSTER'S THREAD WITH YOUR OWN AGENDA.

You have been CALLED OUT, POSTER. You know who you are. Are you ready to start a thread yet, or does that not work for you.

Anyone need this soapbox? cool


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Im with you MB, too many hurt people need to come and post to find direction and help.

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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Okay. THEN START A THREAD ABOUT YOUR ISSUE.

Exactly!

Quote
Your only interest was to come here and disrupt a thread - shame on you!

Exactly!

Quote
If you want to debate Dr. Harley's concepts, START YOUR OWN THREAD.

Exactly! This has been the official policy for months, and it has been the social norm around here for longer than that.

Some people just can't stand to see a group of people who don't believe the same as they do, I guess.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Amen!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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What I hate the most is when people refuse to expose/do the hard parts of Plan A/do plan B and then wonder why MB doesn't work.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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