thanks yes.. i'm going to move this to the affair forum

as for no interest in sex for 2 years.. i think he has a thyroid problem.. he doesn't eat right, he's over weight, she smokes awwww lot! and he has never been fit as an adult.. and i think his age is and life style is starting to catch up with him. + he's a ball of stress..

thank you sooo much

Can you go online to check the detailed billing?

Can you go to where he works at lunchtime to see who he's sitting with?

Holly, I read your other thread and my advice would be to hire a PI for tail your husband for a day. A PI can usually get the goods in one day, with pictures, names, etc. There is a roster of licensed PIs over on a thread on the Operation Investigate forum. http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2472268#Post2472268

mmmmmmmmmm k ;o}

ATT as well...

I registered online for my account...have printed records of all calls, texts, etc. to and from each cell phone on the plan. Dates, times, length of call....

i get the dam paper big .. why isn't any of that info in there.. :o(

when you register the account. did it send a text message or any thing to his phone :o/

Is he the main account holder? It's been so long since I set up our original account that I can't remember if I (I'm the main account holder) got a text.

Get on there and start exporting or printing those bills, just in case.

If he DOES get a text and asks you about it, tell him that you were questioning why the bill was so high and were looking for details on the bill.

While you're online, can you see if there's a place where you can indicate that you want to start receiving detailed paper bills as well as keeping online access? I'm not familiar with AT&T.

Yes, if his phone is the main account holder it will likely send a text to him. You might call ATT first to ask them.

Ok i'm in as much of Plan A as I can be.. (without the proper form of exposure.. ) he's living at his moms house right now. I can only do affection , conversation , and domestic support he will not let me for fill is sexual needs. if i could get that far that would be GREAT and i do try every time i see him.

My question is .. can i just start assuming openly he's having a A. I know he is ..just cant confirm it's the girl i have singled out. I'm 99% sure I've found her. I can't get into his phone or his computer.

I'm not going to able to catch them together .. I can't afford a PI

Here what i do have tell me if this is enough..
friends have seen him with a blond during lunch sitting to close.
so i went to his face book page and found and saved all the blonds that he works with..
and i just started looking at fb likes..
and comparing the blonds
my H deleted his fb page when asked him about "the blond" ..
"the blond" deleted her face book page the same time he did..
the blond just left her husband ..
She works with my H.
My H is taking Male Sexual Response Supplements
its her just don't have proof. like text .. and emails

And i'm not able to get the friends that have seen my H with the blond..
i don't want them to know i'm about to expose it.. cause they know he will know who told.
can i start exposure time :oD ?

can i at least send him the WS to WS letter in the "Notable Post" Section ..let a little guilt set in.. :o)
I feel like the longer i sit on making the affair suck for them the more i'm going to lose him.. :o/

hmmmmm?

I remember saying this and I caught him within the week! You will catch them. Waywards are very sloppy. Particularly if you are acting very unsuspicious.Allow them to let their guard down. Maybe say you are going away or out for the day after putting a GPS in the car.

I would think a VAR would catch anyone. If nobody's home, he's going to call her, either from his car or the house. Put VARs in both....



Very sloppy covering of tracks. You will catch them in no time. They probably set up different FB accounts or instant message accounts to comunicate with each other... can you put a keylogger on the computer?



DO NOT WARN him ata ll. Be sweet and smiling while you snoop.

Plus guilt is a totally useless weapon against affairs. If guilt stopped affairs, no one would do it at all.

He's addicted.

I would contact the "blondes" husband. Tell him your suspicions. Ask him to watch on his side....

ok hi ya :o) September 21st got him to Think About moving back in and start the MB program.

i'm still unable to address any real issues and get on the rode to recovery .. right now its all about him. he even said that famous line .. its all about me now.. i'm done with it being all about what you need!! :o/ .. ..

soooo we are not on the road to recovery but i have him right there .. but he's angry at me and acting like the reluctant addict in an intervention.. do we need do go threw some kind of weird detox period before ..

we start..
he hasn't moved back in.
i told him if it's going to work he need to be back in the house.
..
i almost have him back in.. need help what do i need to do.. keep pushing in to move back in.. or figure out how to deal with this anger he can let go off.

i feel like i can't get any where if he's pissed of at me :o/

Holly how many of the links that I posted have you read?

holly.

You must kill the affair before you marriage stands a chance.

Are you following and understanding the information here?

Stop talking to him and begging/asking him to recover. He will not want to as long as he has OW on the side. Its pointless.

100% of your efforts need to be on killing the affair.

#1. Find out who OW is. (hire a PI, hack into the online ATT bill and find her number -- call it from an unknown phone to see if you can get her name. Use the Operation Investigate forum for more ideas on how to snoop.)

#2. Expose the affair to OW's husband, family and friends.

#3. Expose your husband to family and friends.

#4. While doing 1, 2, and 3 -- Be Super-Wife. Do not reveal your plans or sources. Meet all of the emotional needs he will allow you to. Stop having marriage talks with him.

Got it?

Ding Ding Ding i have confirmed the OP :o/

now it's exposure time right? oh lord .. the Sh*&t is gonna hit the fan.. I'm scared .. He's gonna be sooooo pissed.

can i get a link to what to do know. '
tell him
tell his mama
tell his boss ... what if he gets fired .. i need him to to pay some bills
tell her husband

Yes i have read all your links mark send me some more.

2. Expose the affair to OW's husband, family and friends.

#3. Expose your husband to family and friends.

#4. While doing 1, 2, and 3 -- Be Super-Wife. Do not reveal your plans or sources. Meet all of the emotional needs he will allow you to. Stop having marriage talks with him.

And do #2 and #3 quickly. He is gonna be SUPER mad -- so you may as well get lots of bang for your buck!
You need to tune out his ranting and raving. Action matter -- words do not. So if he pouts, screams, threatens, yells, or cries like a baby - it doesn't matter! Tune it out.
Just repeat: I will do whatever is necessary to save our marriage. (repeat as necessary...)

Who is she?

it's the blond he works with..
i'm still waiting on her husbands contact info to start.
also i don't know any of her friends
but i do have all the people she works with
and should i in form all my husbands work friends too.
that's scary .. he's gonna have a heart attack.
he just told me he going to see a psychiatrist next week.
i hope all this happens just in time for his appointment.. :o)

I exposed to everyone he worked with, I had an org chart and just picked people randomly or people I recognized their names.
YES, INFORM ALL WORK FRIENDS. LET HIM DEAL with it.

As everyone says if it is so great why shouldn't everyone know. You will get great satisfaction from this. DESTROY HIS WORK LIFE THAT HE LOVES SO MUCH!!!

Don't expose to your husband himself though. He already knows he is having an affair. Just the others. And DON'T tell him beforehand so he can beat you to it and say you are a nut case.