Hi All,
Unfortunately, I found myself on this website 5 years ago. Fortunately, I found this website. I wanted to write a quick thank you to everyone on here. I haven't been on for a very long time, but after referring a friend a couple of weeks ago, I have found myself reading some threads.

My husband and I are happily recovered! We celebrated our 10 year anniversary this year. I truly believe this program and discussion board saved my marriage and me. We learned so much about ourselves and each other and continue to use MB principles in our marriage. We have never been happier. This program can and DOES work.


For those of you going through this now, stick with the program. Exposure was the hardest thing for me to do. When I finally did do it, it was the beginning of the end of the affair. It was also what woke my ws up. I encourage those of you who are hesitant to expose, to do it NOW. Support from my in laws was key, but without exposing the affair, I never would have had the support. They actually surprised me. Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone on here for continuing to help people dealing with an affair. I also want you to know that there is hope. The program does work!

You're welcome (I looked and my wife posted to you in 2006 and you got a great dose of our friend, MelodyLane)

My mother in law came through for me/us too.

One thing the forum has proved TO Dr. Harley is the efficacy of "exposure". He has actually become more emphatic about it in the last 10 years due to the multitude of success stories, like yours, herein, on his radio show and in his real life practice.


Thank YOU for coming back and letting us know. I've always speculated that a fair number of people that leave due so to work on their marriages and recover using MB...however, the pessimists/naysayers that post here from time to time will presume that those that leave don't recover and certainly don't use MB anymore.

You prove otherwise and not only give hope to newcomers you affirm what we do here has value even if we can't always see/read the results (until years later ... )

Mr. W

nutinlove, so happy to hear the good news! You were a rockstar when it came to exposure and are reaping the results today. You did a great job of exposing the affair.


You wrote those words in 2006, and Dr Harley said this in one of his newsletters in 2009:


Thanks for coming back and giving us the wonderful update!

Amen and congratulations on a milestone anniversary!

Wishing you both a lifetime of love and happiness.

Exposure DOES work and thank you for sharing this. There are others here who are scared to do that, for unknown reasons, and they need to see how an affair can end courtesy of the gift of exposure.

Hi nutinlove
thanks for posting such encouraging words,I'm glad to read that you are so nut in love and exposure helped you. As for me, currently I am at the stage where I feel like giving up, as soon as I found out about WS affair, I exposed it to my family and his but that did not help so I felt hopeless, when I found MB and have been following the advice given, trying to deposit as much love units as possible, then I started a thread a week ago, I received alot of advice and encouragement from others in this forum, of which I am grateful for, they were there for me when I felt lost and provided support, I was encouraged to expose to OPs family as well, this happened 3 to 4 days ago, the results of the exposure seemed to have pushed WS and OP closer together as WS left home yesterday and has not returned, he actually left with a bag, I presume he is with OP as he said he had to be there for her because of the repecussions of the exposure, he left with such a vile temper, yet the day he found out about the exposure he was calm and collected (probably pretending). I know you are not an expert but just wanted to share my story with you. Now I feel like giving up and going back to our house in another city, at least I have family to support me there.

Hi v1212,

I'm sorry about the situation you are in. You are right, I am not an expert. I can only talk about the experiences I had. I have to tell you that even at the time, I would have not said that exposure was that important. Looking back now, I see how important it was. I hope I did not make it sound like I exposed and then everything was perfect. It wasn't. It was a very dark time for me and a very foggy time for my WH. From the other side though, 5 years later, I truely believe it was absolutely the right thing to do. I did plan A for a couple of months and I was in He!!, but it made me stronger. I got to a point where I was strong enough to expose and set bounderies, and I would have lived either way. I am grateful that my husband woke up and realized that he wanted our marriage to work too. Another key thing that helped is that my husband agreed to read SAA. When he read that, he felt like Dr. Harley was talking about him. I think that made him realize that his affair was not unique, and really trusted what Dr. Harley was saying in the book. If you could get your husband to read that, I think it is a great start.

I pray that you find that strength and your ws wakes up like mine did. It did not happen over night. There was a lot of pain, anger, and fear. I encourage you to work the program. If nothing else, it will make you stronger to face what is ahead.

Hi Nutinlove

Thank you for making the time to respond to my post, I really appreciate it. Presently I am going thru alot of financial difficulties, I would love to get hold of the book SAA, but for now I read alot of Dr Harleys advice or articles on his website as well as taking advice and relying on the support of people like you on MB discussion forum.

Thanks alot, your story gives alot of people hope.

v, have you checked your local library? You can get started on Plan A(carrot and stick) and working the plans until you can get the book. Most of the information is available here, for free, either through the articles, and material, or through the radio show. It would be good for you to read all of that, since even with the books, you should know all of this.

nutinlove, thank you so much for coming back and being an advocate for exposure. Many BSs are afraid to expose. One of the arguments that us posters use is that no one has ever regretted exposing. It's good to see that it still holds true.

Nowadays, DrH suggests 3-4 weeks for Plan A for a BW, and I think you can attest to the need for that change. Thanx again for sharing. It is so encouraging to ALL members.

Thanks for suggestions Scotland I will try checking at the library.