Although I had more custody than my xwh, it is PEACEFUL knowing my son is forever safe and that we do not have to deal with that person anymore. and no, not all wayward parents are THAT bad, but SOME ARE (like yours) and with them you must leave NO STONE UNTURNED AND DEAL HARSHLY WITH THEM.

Peachy - my law firm has done a pretty good job so far handling everything. I have a meeting with my attorney on Tues. to discuss things. It is going to be a long meeting. I should know a lot more by the end of day on Monday from DFS.

Best of luck, PSUB!

I think it's time for the lawyer to counter with some serious allegations. I can't think of any BIA who would be ok with a obviously coached set of kids being told to say bad things about their father. Is there a BIA in your case? You might want to seriously consider one.

The picture your WW is painting to the judge, however, is one of a very disturbed person and the judge is obviously not buying it.

So you can rest easy a little, I think.

I am very confident about being in MD because the judges here are very fair and give dads a fair shake. At least they do so in the county I'm in.

I am so sorry you are having to battle this stupidity.
I hope that the courts can see through this.

my prayers are with you, PSU.

My lawyer is drafting an emergency custody petition today. It's laying out the craziness over the last three years, her mental instability, the deal about her assault charges, etc. Supervised visitation for her, mental health exam, no kid contact with POSOM. I'm calling her all in.

Yeah...it's time.

Godspeed psu...

I'm scared for you. Keep your pistola and recorder on hand at all times. I think "they" are psychotic enough to actually believe their allegations and when they read your attorney's motion flipping everything around on them and how much sense it seems to make (versus their crazy motions)....they are going to go nuts.

Wayward indignation and entitlement run amok.

Mr. W

Your lawyer will know much better than I about what will work better in your state, jurisdiction, and that specific judge but it seems to me that as bad and aggressive as you want to write it...you'll perhaps be more successful taking a seemingly compassionate route. Almost as if you knew she was crazy from the get go but somewhat crazy and contained was better for your kids than no mother at all. That you've tried and tried to work with her and, as the court can clearly see...she's hung herself and although this MUST be done today...this is NOT what you wanted for your children. It's necessary at this point in time and that down the road...if and when circumstances with her mental condition change you hope you'll be able to work with her again to parent these precious children. Etc....etc...etc.

It's the way men win versus busting through the courtroom doors demanding their father's rights (especially in cases where you've been called abusive and controlling it may be more important to demonstrate the opposite).

This may have been your strategy all along and I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. It may also be stupid as I'm not a litigator...I just want to help you win so bad.

Mr. W

Mr W has a point

I am in MD, and if you know my story I called the police once I thought it might take authority to get my wife to seek treatment for addiction

Now up to that point, I had put up with some pretty crazy things, and most people looked the other way, figuring the same thing as Mr W stated

Some mom was better than no Mom for the Kids, as long as she stayed off drugs, there was hope

But when I called the cops put of the blue, all bets were off, I ended up going to jail

The cool calm approach without any 911 calls will probably be the best and of course, your judge seems to allready have xww number

Prayers to ya PSU

I live in MD and wish I could camp out and have your back PSU, but not in the political position that would help you, also now I have a record

All I can do is pray, and hope for the best from this seat. Funny I used to be the goto guy for this sort of stuff, back in the early days, but now I would be a liability. Sure miss those days of being a resting place for troubled people, a safe house where people knew there was no violence allowed, even the self abuse of drugs
Reason and self control reigned

Please be sure to have a cool headed friend around and if you have a local policeman that you know nearby, have him come by and make his presence known

The county cops are different that the city ones, in baltimore anyways, but they know about the crazies here, and would like to be aware of what's going on, I know one personally, I hope you do also

If you have a big enough wall around you, it might scare off the animals. Walk softly but carry a big stick, and have a bunch of friends around so you don't get to jumpy

God bless you and your quest to end this crap brother

That's been my strategy. I sent her a custody proposal a month ago which covered exactly what we are doing and what I considered were OUR best practices for holidays and such.

Crawled out of my hole to say .....

(((((((( PSU ))))))))

Can you sew a little GPS into each child's backpack?
Just in case the morons try to run off with the kids.
They would get stopped at airport security, even if the GPS is no longer working !!!!!

Bravo to you, PSU!! Putting all of her behavior in a linear timeline should tell a very shocking story.

All is relatively quiet. Have not heard anything from the detective investigating things nor DFS. I'm taking that as a good thing. Yesterday, she filed a motion to have the kids testify in the custody hearing. Here's what she said:


- both children have verbally asked to be heard
- they want to express where they feel safe and where they do not
- they want to expres where they want to live.

- Both children want to express their feelings and have requested to do so to myself and others several times

You may want to discuss with your lawyer about obtaining a very good Child Psychologist to interview your children. You do know that your children are being coached on what to say. A very good Child Psychologist will know how to get to the truth.

I don't know if they have them in MD, but many courts offer court-appointed special advocates for kids. These are people who volunteer, working on behalf of the children only. The represent the children, not any adult, to the court. They work for the court, not for any attorney, and report to the judge. They establish a rapport with the children, and are the "voice" of the child to the court. They do not care if any adult's "feelings" get hurt - they work on behalf of the child only, in the best interests of the child only, and help the court dig into what the child is thinking and has to live with...what the child is going through.

It might help in your case, because CASA type volunteers are made for cases where a parent or others are exerting influences on children, or when adults are causing kids to feel pressured to make decisions as though they are adults

and kids are not adults - they cannot be expected to make these hard decisions.


Just an idea to explore. Maybe it would rescue your kids from the rock and the hard place.

Your WW is digging her own grave with this. It's clear she doesn't have an attorney because no attorney in his right mind would let her file such a motion.

She's not familiar with the family courts. She's obviously oblivious to the things that people do that courts look down on.

She's basically hanging herself by doing this stuff.

I would request a BIA to be appointed to represent the children, but only if you have the funds for it.

All of this will cost you money, I'm afraid, but a court appointed psychologist would be good.

But no self respecting court would put children on the stand to put them on spot and ask them to pick between their mother or their father.

I agree with edd and schoolbus...and help

I'm also pretty confident that whatever coaching your xwife tried to do with the kids will backfire on her. She's proven herself to be completely incompetent therefore I fully expect her attempt at lying to the court through the children to be wholly ineffective as well.

Trust the professionals to see right through her scheme as you sit back as the calm, rational and reasonable "victim" of her attempts to game the system...AGAIN. From your perspective...you should be seemingly sad at just how transparent her misguided efforts are and how pathetic she has become. Might even throw in a "isn't there anything we can do for her...she really needs a psyche evaluation....I'm so hesitant to say anything that appears like I'm trying to exploit the situation but this is not the woman I've known for 20+ years...something is seriously wrong with her"


And I'm not suggesting you ACT that way (acting will be just as transparent)...she is pathetic and does need help and she'll always be their mother. Your concern is on behalf of your children (and conveniently...their best interests).

Mr. W

This is good advice, and since all have spoken on how to protect yourself from XWW craziness, I wanted to back up your conscience in dealing with your Children in this.

So I tried to think about what the good book says about when women fall off the edge like your XWW did, and relate it as kind as I could to you because your Daddy, and you are doing all this for the good of all of them.

Proverbs 23:21-23
King James Version (KJV)


21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.

23 Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.

________________________

Now as far as crazy sick women go, my wife became one, and it was hard to tell my children that they needed to now be protected from the women who once loved them so much. Some things that were in the background became clear in thier heads, because the children were DD19,DS17 and DS14 when she had to be revealed as an addict, but thing had been brewing for years. So it helped them to see so much, that I had been trying to bear for so long on my shoulders, and even taking the blame for while working with my wife to get proper help. The escapisim wasn't helping her anymore.

But the kids know right from wrong and what are lies and what is fair and what they can't process emotionally is why. The fair of why did this happened to Mommy, is something you will have to deal with as a Dad, will be something hard for you, because Mommy will allways try to blame you as long as she is sick, and that might be forever.

As suggested the cool calm rational sad Dad who has watched his WW deteriorate, is not only the bravest and most noble strongest appereance, it is also the one the children need the most for the rest of thier lives.

We know its not an act PSU, my heart goes out for you.

Get as much good help as you can, it will be worth another morgage, for your kids.

PSU,

Solid stuff. Will write more later, but what you�re doing clearly outlines things which have already been confirmed and upheld by the courts and are really transparent to see.

Does she have an attorney or is she still trying to do this on her own?

There�s also this angle to things: You�ve generally minded your own business and have been living in relative peace with the WXW for several years now. All these allegations are baseless, haven�t held up, and are coming out of the blue now. The question should be, besides her mental state, why now?

What is her motivation in doing this stuff? Has OM had money taken from him and they have to get it from you now?

You�ve been in minimal contact with her all these years, correct?