I cant argue with you Peachy!





I agree with you about the manipulation thing. He was always doing too much for others so he could demand things back from them - or mope and complain people werent fair.

I always thought of him as generous, but I think he is just another bad santa!

Well I told my brother and his girl what her dad has been up to.
I said that they needed to know that he approached me without any thought of how it would affect/shame them.

My bro was very shocked but he thought it was funny such a thing could happen, whereas his gf was absolutely mortified. She called her dad up and told him that she was horrified, that my brother was horrified and that I hadnt appreciated being hit on by someone so much older, who was still married and who was so inappropriately related to me.

He said nothing but texted apologies to them both with the excuse that he was drunk. At least he didnt deny it I suppose.

One thing I didnt know was that he cheated on her mum and thats why they split up years ago!

She says her dad still thinks hes 21 and is totally delusional. My bro just said he must think he's something to have thought he was in with a shot at all.

Apparently he is now very embarassed because his and my whole family will know. Well he should have thought of that earlier before he tried the vulture move on a BS.

In happier news from Indie-land, I have booked my all inclusive holiday to egypt for the end of the month - just me and my precious marmee.

I have some new bikinis and co-ordinating toe nail polish too(this really does make you feel better!)

All is well in my head for now.

Good to hear about the trip, and JEALOUS. I wanna travel too. Hmph. (Tantrum over, )

I am having such a bad time at work. I am sure my recovery would be doing much better if I worked somewhere half-way decent.

There have been lots of cuts and we have been told that we will no longer get overtime for working on Sundays, that we now have to stay in the office later at the weekend (for less money) and that our chief exec has just given himslef a �3000 pay rise. That's half the money saved by cutting our weekend pay.

My boss is pure Art of War. I know he has read the book! I can just tell. He does lots of bluffing like saying he wont consider negotiations no matter what we do. He also says he didnt think we would mind losing �700 a year. He wont even consider giving us time off elsewhere in the week to make up for it.

It really reminds me of the way waywards are when there is nothing holding them to account. They just plough selfishly on regardless for greed.

Its really bad because I just want to be around honest people right now. I treat others fairly and I want the same.

The job is a horrendous commute too and it is just no longer worth my while.

I have just sent my CV to an employment agency and basically said I will do anything (within reason!) for x amount withn x miles.

Wish me luck and freedom!

Indie,

that's not the way we work... You cannot just get your own celtic voyager and send him out to tell people you will do anything within reason. We have standards too.

Yeesh.

LOL - that would be quite nice though!

((((Indie)))))

I too need a new job.

Something where I don't need to lie so much. It would help me sleep better.

Did you read the part of my thread where I was asking people what I should be when I grew up? I also asked on FB. I have some pretty funny friends, and it helped me in my recovery.

Ill have to check that out!

Oh yeah, there were some great ideas. Lemme see if I can remember some. I think Pep suggested that I be a professional roller skater. My friend on FB suggested that I be a fortune teller. Someone suggested astronaut. Oh HILARIOUS. It really did help me get through that phase. Isn't it good to know that you are right on track?

See, I think that us changing who we are by working the plans, makes us look at all aspects of our lives. We see things that we need to change to make our lives better. It's great. No, really, it is.

Indie,

I think you should be a professional belly dancer. My teacher makes really good money!

Or, maybe take up Roller Derby, you know it's making a comeback!

My dream job is as a wrangler at a Dude Ranch in Alaska. Sadly, my wonderful husband won't even fathom moving there, but everytime I want to run away from my life, I threaten to move there. If I ever found myself single I would be there so fast...

I still think you should be an Astronaut Scotty..

Ha, Beam me up... SCOTTY!!!

Indie, I have hit that question too... what do I want to do with this part of my life? I quite enjoy my job at the moment, but it is not what I want to do forever. And I want to have a new focus in my life given I am no longer looking at being a stay at home mum in the near future. I am considering some extravagant ideas along with some tamer ones, but the thing I am realising is that I can do whatever I want, without having to consider anyone else. Not what I had planned and not what I would choose, but this is where I am so why not make the most of it? No need to POJA when it is just me.

Best of luck with the temp agencies!

And this is what I am dealing with in all aspects of my life. It kinda feels good now that I don't need to POJA with anyonr, but in a weird way, I miss it too. It's very strange when I think about it.

Caracal, you're about a year too late BTW.

Had very much a non POJA day, just doing whatever I felt like. There is something to be said for having no one to please but yourself, even though I would really like to have a family and a marriage, I like my own company.

There was a point in the day when I was just alone with my thoughts and I realised my heart still pained. I realised I still have a broken heart.

I can hear you all saying 'well of course! it was only a moment ago that your husband and good friend stuck a dagger into it!' But it genuinely came as a surprise to me.

I have been feeling so cushioned and safe in Plan B, that I do not ache a whole lot. The comparison between now and D Day is like the difference between a woman who has gone through childbirth (I imagine!)and later on has a splinter. It pales in comparison

It is only in quiet moments, when I am really paying attention, that I know there is a wound on me that is unhealed.

It should have made me feel sad, but it didnt. I feel kind of like a soldier who has marched across a desert and discovered that he has done so on a lame foot, fuelled only by determination. I am proud of myself. I am not unfeeling, I am just strong. I can see how far I have come and that even if there is a long way still to go - I have proof that I am well capable and well equipped.

All you other Bers can too - and do!

I still have a few moments like this, once in a while. I think it's part of the process. And you are right, it hasn't been all that long ago, you are bound to still be hurting some.

It really does go to show you how effective Plan B really is. That's why I am such an advocate for it. I shudder to think what life would have been like without MB and Plan B.

Tomorrow, what one thing will you do for yourself? It could be something small, but what will it be.

Well today I went shopping with mum for some pretty holiday things. Got myself glitzy flat sandals and a cleopatra style rope necklace (when in egypt...) I also got a new dress for when I go out with the girls on Wednesday night for dinner.

Tomorrow I have bellydancing and Tuesday I have my maths class.

But tonight I have maths homework

Ah well, when im done there is a bubble bath followed by cake!

My sisters 30th birthday party in parents house last night. Very low key as she is seven months pregnant. Some relatives showed up who are close, but obviously not as close as my immediate family.

Well it turned into lets-bash-softlad night.

I understand they havent had the same opportunity that we have had to discuss and vent, but it was all pretty old hat to the rest of us.

I found myself reassuring THEM!

Then my cousin, who I have told repeatedly in the past not to tell me any softlad-news, starts doing just that.

She tells me that softlad posted a happy birthday message on my sisters FB page and why is she still friends with him?

I say no idea because we dont discuss him.

Then my bro's gf chips in and says she hasnt unfriended him because she wants to keep an eye on him.

I give my cousin the 'dont tell me stuff' speech and she says 'its only a little thing' and i say 'little things are details - details are too much'

Next thing she'll be telling me a big thing and telling me that she has to tell me 'because its a big thing - because its important'! She loves me though and just feels it too much I think.

Ive had some strange post again. A letter came through the door addressed to the council's electoral register dept and with no postmark on it - so hand delivered and not to the address on the envelope. Its also unsealed.

Inside is a voters registration form for this address. Mine and softlads names are on it and the form asks us to check the names are right for this address. You are supposed to return it with any corrections if details have changed - in the prepaid envelope back to the electoral dept at the council.

I have already had a properly adressed and sealed letter from the council about this.

This looks as though one has also been posted to softlad at his parents address ( I told them he had moved there) and then he has put it into the prepaid envelope and through my door.

There are also some figures scrawled on the page, which are his handwriting by the looks.

What the hell?

Or am I being paranoid? Maybe the council hand delivers at particular addresses where they have recieved news of changes.....

No that cant be right.