My husband cheated on me 2.5 years ago. He abandonded our family (2 kids) and continued to date and eventually moved in with the other woman. I divorced him. a year and half later, he breaks up with this woman (who knew he was married and didn't care) and because of financial issues I let him move back in (a separate room) and he pays rent. My only demand was that he had no contact with the ow. I don't care if he dates any one else...but this particular woman that he cheated on me with is simply horrible. Without going into details she pursued him and was only too happy to destroy our family. Long story short...he is in contact with her again. She knows he is living here and continues to call him. He returns her calls. He sees nothing worng with this. We are divorced...it's his life. Those are his arguments. This KILLS me! I can't let it go! It's like I am back in the hell I was in 2.5 years ago...the absolute worse time of my life. I let him move back in so he could get his life together for out children. I feel like I'm dying all over again. I told him to leave but he has no money. He tells me I'm selfish, I should grow up etc. Just like it was before. Am I worng for feeling this way even though we are divorced? I feel like I haven't healed at all in 2.5 years! Help!

I would say that you tell him to move out, and then go into Plan B for life with him.

Does he pay your CS?

H pays cs although he's about a month behind. I know I'm a sucker. I let him move in so he could get his finacialy act together. I guess I should also mention that he is an active alcohoic (he had been sober the entire time he was gone only to start drinking again when he moved back in). Why do I care? Why does this hurt? We were married for 25 years. It's like none of it meant anything to him. I just can't get it out of my mind what a kick the ow is getting out of this. She REALLY is horrible. AND she's a MARRIAGE THERAPIST!!!! One other reason this is such a big deal is that my 14 year old son didn't talk with his dad for over a 1.5 years because of this. They now have a good relationship again. Why would he do this AGAIN???

Kick him out if he bothers you.

Honey

From one who fit both categories (Alchoholic + WW ) at one point in my life-that your FWH is now at-here is one piece of truth I can give you with 100% assurance........

IF his lips are moving HE is lying.

You may want to try Al-Anon for YOUR weak boundry problems with your X.

As one who is now D'd from an unrepentant active alchoholic wayward wife similar to your former H-a small apartment-2 cats- and a whole lotta peace and serenity =s NO CONTACT With the former in any way. Your not his helper or partner anymore...period

Just my 2 cents

nESRE

Who's being selfish???

I don't want to be snarky, but. You said it first.

Show this user the door. Make sure he knows how to use it.

Begin eviction proceedings against him.

There is a formal process for you to evict him; use the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is presenting a danger to you and your family.

Do not feel sorry for him. His poor choices have placed him where he is:

1. He has bad financial abilities because of his OW, drinking, and selfish ways.
2. He came crawling back to you because he believes he can use you. He is RIGHT about this, and the proof is that he is USING YOU RIGHT NOW.
3. He can, and should, visit your son. When, and only when, he is NO LONGER DRINKING. Make this abundantly clear to your son. Make a trip to Al-Anon today, and drag your son with you.
4. HE CHOSE the other woman. Remember, he had the choice back then not to do that. You made the bad choice to let him back in the house. UN-DO that choice. EVICT him.
It is not your problem that he "has nowhere to go". He is a big boy, can put on big boy pants, pull them up himself, and figure it out. After all, he has done it without you when he walked out the door on you before.

SB

Yes Evict him, and don't listen to his whining.