Hello. I am new to this website. I have been blessed and encouraged by what I have read thus far. My husband of 24 years went to work out of town for 3 months and had a sexual encounter. He said that it was nothing emotional; just an opportunity. He cried, called our daughters and told them, told me he loved me, and stated that he did not want me to leave him.

He is constantly stating how stupid he was for doing something like this. He told me that there is a difference in having sex and making love to someone you care about. Basically, he said it was a "booty call." He has changed his cellphone number and has also given me all access to his internet accounts. He says that he really wants my trust back.

The problem is I feel that is is my fault. I had not been able to perform for a period of time due to female problems and had surgery to permanently correct it. It was during my recovery period that this act was revealed to me.

This concubine lives across country but unfortunately it is as if she is here. It has been 4 months now and I and still fighting battles of the mind due to visuals. I want to talk to her soooo bad but was advised not too.

I must be honest and say that I haven't been a saint either and though it was over 10 years ago; this current situation has consumed my thoughts.

I am so thankful for this forum because I can express my feelings to others in my situation who won't be biased due to knowing my husband and me.

I admit that since this incident we realized that we had taken each other for granted and the love we express to each other seems almost fake because it is so beautiful. I am beginning to trust again as he is and has done me. The problem is me. I tend to want to lash out at him and open up a scar that already has a scab on it trying to heal.

How can I not allow this to overtake me; especially during times of intimacy.

Thanks for your support in advance,
Faithworker

FW,

I must be honest and say that I haven't been a saint either and though it was over 10 years ago

If you have not told him, please tell him now, just get it over with, infidelities do not cancel each other out they add.

God Bless
Gamma

Gamma he knows but his approach is totally different. He says that while he thinks about it he choses not to let it control his life. I wish that it could be that easy for me. I never know when he is thinking about it and I am trying not to let him know everytime it crosses my mind. Thank you for responding!

FW,

He says that while he thinks about it he choses not to let it control his life

I sometimes feel that when men suppress their emotions about a painful event it comes out years later.

I can tell you that I carried around anger towards my W because of her A with OM2 and didn't really deal with it until I found MB 20+ years after the fact.

Is the OM from 10 years ago still in your area? Did OMW ever learn what happened

God Bless
Gamma

Gamma yes he is but I haven't seen him in just about that amount of time. He knows him too but he says he can't really remember what he looks likes; which is a good thing. Where are you getting all of these abbreviations from?

Here is a link to most of the acronyms on MB:

Acronyms and Abbreviations

Thank you