To all of you responders, lurkers and otherwise:

I am the WW who is out of my affair for several weeks. Each day under our belt with NC helps more and more ! Less fog. More real.

We signed up for Marriage Builders online program and did our first assignment yesterday !

I am telling my husband every single day how thankful I am for a second chance. He is the man I want. I am so thankful that he still wants me too.

I am telling my husband every single day that I am sorry. He needs to hear it.

I am standing up and meeting him at the door with a smile when he gets home. This might sound like a silly thing to post, but it means something to us. It's DOING something.

I feel like we have hope. I sure don't want to screw this up. We have a terribly long way to go, that is for sure, but at least we are moving in the right direction even if it is real slow. And real hard.

Just wanted to tell someone.

Bravo to you for taking steps to turn your life around. It won't be long before you feel an amazing passion for your marriage. Just hang in there and it will come.

Thank you MelodyLane. I want to hang on and hang in there. I will do what it takes to rebuild trust and love and healing. It is slow going, but joy will come. Just going one day at a time. We're still married and we're still a family.

PSMF, I am in the same situation. I'm Mirrormirror's wife and have been lurking here (with his permission) reading some of the posts from FWW'S. Every morning , for me, is a miracle. Every smile from MM is treasured. I am his, body, mind, and soul, and will prove it, with every breath I take.

I am glad to hear that your husband has given you a second chance. Use this gift wisely:) I am happy to hear of WW who want to recovery and got the chance I never got. I wish you and your DH the best.

Not silly at all. It shows you care for him more than whatever is happening at that time (TV, work, kids, etc). It was one of the biggest steps my wife made in meeting my ENs

Yes, this is very hopeful because you have a PLAN for recovery!

We love couples who have a PLAN !

Good for you! NC for life. Never give in.

The more time that goes by, the more I can see how ridiculous and irrational I was while in that A. YUCK. It sure looks ugly from this side of my very green yard.

We have a plan for recovery. We are sticking to the plan. The thought of ever going back to that old life makes me break out in a sweat.

High five to you, PSMF! You're doing so well!

Out of curiosity, how much UA time would you say you're getting each week? What do the two of you do?

Very cool, PSMF.

Marital Bliss, we are going on walks (1 hour walks) most every night. We go out on a dinner date once a week. We went to the movies on Sat night. We spend time after the kids go to bed talking and now we are watching our MB seminar videos in the evenings. Do the MB videos count toward UA time or not ??? I wondered about that.

I would say we are spending about 12-15 hours so far plus some phone calls during the day which add to about 30 min daily.

My H has cancelled all travel with his job (he is in military...)which has really helped. He was gone so much that we really lived independent lives. Now we are meshing our lives back into one unit. Which is tough right now because we have been strangers in many ways but absolutely imperative.

Another thing I wanted to add is that I realize I "rewrote history" (which I read about in MB articles on this site)to make my marriage and husband seem worse than they actually were. I realize I did this to justify my A in my mind, to make it easier to participate in. Of course, that was just another form of lying.

In reality, I had a pretty good marriage and a pretty great husband. I risked everything good in my life for NOTHING. Ouch. That is hard to write.

I had 3 D-days because I never ended contact until my H exposed to OMW. I wouldn't take you veterans advice until then, and I'm sorry about that. (2x4's welcome). But I'm still here, and I'm coming to my senses.

I don't know how to add my information (ages, kids, D-days etc) under the line like most of you have. I would like to do that so you know my history and info.

sorry to keep posting--but maybe something I write can help another some day.

I just wanted to say that now I am really THANKFUL that my husband exposed the affair to OMW (which shut down affair instantly). I remember my H saying, "I love you too much to watch you go down this path of destruction. I will fight for you whether you want me to or not".

I was hopping mad that he exposed. But now I am RELIEVED. I struggled the whole year I was in the A--knowing how wrong it was but somehow couldn't get out of the web, or didn't want to. Wanted to be rescued from myself but wanted to stay addicted too...oh how sad to even write that.

PSMF,

I think it's great you have come back to tell your story and your change of heart and mind, you surely will help others understand the mind of a wayward, I have to say you have one great guy there, I hope you know how lucky you are that he cared more about you than you did.
You have a second chance don't blow it.......
Spend the rest of your days making it up to that man.......
My WH has also come to realize that what having his affair almost cost him.
Remember it is very hard to be a BS, be patient and loving and don't make him doubt anything about what you do now..........
It's your turn to fight for him..........

PSMF,

I'm so glad to hear how MB is working for you. I love to see a WW work as hard as you have to earn that "F".

I may not be hip on how to do everything here but I can help you create a signature line (I just learned myself!).

When you are logged in, go to MY STUFF at the top of the page and hit EDIT PROFILE. Scroll down to signature and compose up to 500 characters.

Continued success to you!

Thank you SC. I put the signature line in according to your directions and it worked !

I agree!

I read your post a couple days ago and was quite proud of you...but, also, encouraged myself. Keep it up!

PSMF, you are one of the luckiest people here. If my wife had three D-days, she would be history. I can't decide if your husband is very wise, or very weak. Either way, I wish you the best.

You better believe I know I'm lucky. Blessed is a better word I think. We are in the "thick" of recovery right now. Doing all the online seminars, questionnaires and all the discussion that goes along with it. MM, it is my sincere desire that someday I will have "FWW" and "happily and thankfully recovered" in my sig line. We are uncovering junk and habits that have been in place for almost 17 years....tough stuff.
But we have a PLAN and we're sticking to it.
Any advice or criticism welcome.