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Thanks everyone. You know how to make it all reasonable. She is going out tonight with a bunch of friends in her industry (all girls - seen FB posts) and she is planning on being home early as she has to drive 4hr to my DD15 athletic event.
Since we departed lunch she is texting me about times we made love during the early years in crazy spots. Like she said earlier, she was getting the tinglies thinking about this morning when we made love. Ugh - is she feeling the spark or what here? Its all happening so fast. This is a distraction and I wonder if you are reading our posts? What happened to exposure? Were you interested in working on saving your marriage?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Have you exposed the affair yet? She is going out tonight to meet her OM. She is just going to be sneakier now. You need to stop the distractions and stick to the plan if you want to save your marriage. EXPOSE the affair TODAY. While she is out catting around with her lover. I am sure she will say " HOW COULD YOU, YOU BLEW IT NOW, I SAID I WAS GONNA TRY WITH YOU BUT NOW U PISSED ME OFF!!!" Ugh my gut... Offer her a cookie or a pop. Of course she will say that. Don't let it bother you one bit. Please stick to the plan and expose this affair. I would also find that losers facebook page and send his family and friends a PM telling them he is doing a married woman.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She is going out tonight with a bunch of friends in her industry (all girls - seen FB posts)  Any chance you can spy on her while she's out tonight? It would be way easy for OM to just 'happen' to show up there. Take your camera. I'm with kids - she is going out with BF and coming back with her to our place where BF is staying for the conference. She should be safe as BF doesn't know either.
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She is going out tonight with a bunch of friends in her industry (all girls - seen FB posts) Any chance you can spy on her while she's out tonight? It would be way easy for OM to just 'happen' to show up there. Take your camera. I'm with kids - she is going out with BF and coming back with her to our place where BF is staying for the conference. She should be safe as BF doesn't know either. This would be a great opportunity to tell the BF. But I suspect she does know or your wife is using her for cover. And I am really disappointed that you agreed to her going out. That doesn't help your marriage one bit. Are you reading our posts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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she is going out with BF and coming back with her to our place where BF is staying for the conference. She should be safe as BF doesn't know either. How do you know BF doesn't know?? Please don't say you got that from your lying wayward???
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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What disturbed me was that she said she cannot just turn the switch off for her feelings for OM and that she knows that I would always question her in everything she does. She's telling you that she might "accidentally" contact OM(s) and that you should be ok with it because she gave you a head's up about how "weak and fragile" she is. In her last statement she actually blames *you* for not trusting her. It's a setup and makes my head hurt. Who is this second OM talking about working out? You need to ID his wife/family/friends and add them to the exposure list. If I were you, I'd have no hesitation giving OM#1 and #2 a call telling them to eff off. You have their numbers.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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She is going out tonight with a bunch of friends in her industry (all girls - seen FB posts) Any chance you can spy on her while she's out tonight? It would be way easy for OM to just 'happen' to show up there. Take your camera. I'm with kids - she is going out with BF and coming back with her to our place where BF is staying for the conference. She should be safe as BF doesn't know either. This is you avoiding following the plan, you know?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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What was her posting name, MrA?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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She is going out tonight with a bunch of friends in her industry (all girls - seen FB posts) Any chance you can spy on her while she's out tonight? It would be way easy for OM to just 'happen' to show up there. Take your camera. I'm with kids - she is going out with BF and coming back with her to our place where BF is staying for the conference. She should be safe as BF doesn't know either. This is you avoiding following the plan, you know? Get a stitter and just "happen" to show up. I would bet money that I dont have that she is meeting him to figure out how to go farther underground. BF's will do anything for there friend if they think it will make them happy.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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You are making half-a$$ed attempts here at salvaging whats left of your marriage. My wife 5 months post dday still wouldnt even suggest that she go out with a bunch of friends without me. I know of her every move even when I go 4 hours away for business and come home late. I set up precautions and she follows them. Or this marriage is doomed. She wants our marriage to survive. Yours hasnt decided yet.
You still have exposed her affair. You havent set up an EP so she cant have any chance of continuing her affair.
I hope she has a good time with OM tonight because you have made it clear its OK with you if she lives that independent lifestyle.
Are you reading the posts that people having been putting up all week? You wife is severely fogged out with her affair and you are pu$$y-footing here. When Mr. OM is putting his moves on tonight you'll be on here making excuses. Time is short.
Last edited by MikeStillSmiling; 10/14/11 03:45 PM.
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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Are you reading the posts that people having been putting up all week? You wife is severely fogged out with her affair and you are pu$$y-footing here. When Mr. OM is putting his moves on tonight you'll be on here making excuses. Time is short. It is painful to watch this.. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Very much so, I remember these days like it was yesterday and would not wish them on my worst enemy.
MrA, please listen and expose. I didnt becuase I didnt know about MB at the time and the knife of the A left very visable scares.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Two things I see that you should focus on:
1. demand that she end her affairs
2. TODAY - expose her affairs to everyone, her parents, your parents, friends, close family and most especially children. If any of these OM are married, expose to their wives. Do this WITHOUT WARNING.
Don't argue with her anymore. Stop preaching to her and very calmly expose her affairs and DEMAND she end ALL contact with these men. Affairs thrive on secrecy, so bringing this out into the light of day will ruin the fantasy and motivate her to end her affairs.
Ask all the adults [friend/family] to speak to her. Ask them to use their influence to persuade her to end her affairs.
Good job on snooping! The only thing more I would recommend is that you try and get a GPS on her car and install spyware on her phone.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Please be an ACTION MAN if you want to save your marriage. Hope is not a plan.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I think MrA only posts from work. So he probably won't see any of this until after the weekend.
Prediction:
MrA will dabble with exposure this weekend... maybe by telling WW's BF.
WW will go ballistic, and MrA will be convinced that exposing is the worst idea ever!
WW was HAPPY, and FLIRTING with him before that. Now she's angry and withdrawn, and threatening divorce.
WW will begin her public image campaign and get the story out about "problems in the marriage" WW will get to all of the exposure targets first, and give her version of the story.
MrA will be disarmed. WW will pull the 4 daughters close to her and shut MrA out.
Monday, MrA will come back here and tell us that he was asked to move out of his house.
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I know we see that exact thing over and over again on here but I hope you are wrong. Maybe he is on the West Coast and still at work.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Yes, it is painful.
Depending on the time zone, WW is about now likely getting gussied up for:
-Girls night out (riiiggghttttt...),
-"Closure" last meeting with OM (A grows stronger),
-"I just can't do this" meeting with OM (A grows stronger),
-"GoodbyeandIwishthingsweredifferentonelastkiss" meeting (A grows stronger).
Just add a few cocktails for the perfect Friday night for a WW and OM oh-so-sadly trying to part ways nicely.
While H is home with the kids.
You may as well load "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney on her iPod to make it a perfect night for them.
Very sad to watch.
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Prediction:
MrA will dabble with exposure this weekend... maybe by telling WW's BF.
WW will go ballistic, and MrA will be convinced that exposing is the worst idea ever!
WW was HAPPY, and FLIRTING with him before that. Now she's angry and withdrawn, and threatening divorce.
WW will begin her public image campaign and get the story out about "problems in the marriage" WW will get to all of the exposure targets first, and give her version of the story.
MrA will be disarmed. WW will pull the 4 daughters close to her and shut MrA out. Agree 100%. As I have said before, trickle exposure is worse than no exposure because it just pisses off the WS enough to come after the BS with a vengence but not enough to make any difference. It is enough to piss off, but not enough to kill. It is like taking a pea shooter to a gun fight. You just end up SHOT.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Luvs and Lexxy,
I don't post much, but was typing as you were posting. Hopefully he'll see this before "Girls Night Out". Ugh.
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She is going out tonight with a bunch of friends in her industry (all girls - seen FB posts) Any chance you can spy on her while she's out tonight? It would be way easy for OM to just 'happen' to show up there. Take your camera. I'm with kids - she is going out with BF and coming back with her to our place where BF is staying for the conference. She should be safe as BF doesn't know either. 1) Get a Sitter 2) Put on your Camo gear 3) Strap your rifle to your back 4) Strap your pistol on your thigh 5) Put some Dirt in your Hair Go to the whereever they are going - wait for them to leave, while engine is still running; get out of your vehicle "Oh Wifey - Oh Wifey - I just got here. You forgot your sweater. I realized when I was out target practicing it was quite chilly tonight. I thought of my poor wifey, and how you and BF must be as nippy as I am (granted I am loaded with my gun gear). Here Sweety, your sweater, may I get a kiss goodnight? Will see you two girls at home in a few minutes. Can't wait to warm up with you tonight! Love you ... " Make your intentions well known ... when you get back home start full exposure.
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