This has been discussed before.
I disagree with your statement.

My first point of disagreement is that there are no "MB principles" on this site.
(exception .... one must read the MB books)
There are MB Basic Concepts on this site.
Which (when you click on the link) are listed as:


These basic concepts are designed to help married people stay in love by building a mutually compatable and satisfying relationship.


I certainly think it would be risky to apply these concepts to relationships outside marriage. Such as "The Love Bank", or "The Policy Of Undivided Attention".

In addition, I also think it is very risky to apply "The Policy Of Radical Honesty" outside marriage. I would never advise anyone to do this.


Much of this honest sharing is highly intimate, and unless it is your spouse you are sharing with, it is no body's business. Many an affair began by sharing intimacies of thoughts and feelings, which seems innocent enough, until the love bank starts to fill up ..... and it's not your spouse.

It SEEMS like a wonderful idea to press Dr Harley's concepts for a loving intimate marriage into play under for other relationships, but when you really examine the Basic Concepts, you can see that unintended (non marital) use is actually dangerous to a marriage.

Anyway, that's my opinion.
Take care.

Yes, of course you are right Pep.

I was thinking in priority, and of course radical honesty, but I wasn't thinking of appropiate relationships with others.

I will retract that statement, MB principles should only apply to marriages, honesty being another whole ball game.

What about HNHN for Parents. I took that as applying MB concepts except there are different EN's.

If Lovebusters are applied to parenting, the child will begin to grow hate for the parent who does this. Granted because there are EN's being filled by parents the child will have residual love, but as time progresses and a parent engages in LB's then it becomes a love/hate relationship.

I also believe with friendships you can also apply EN's/LB's here as well. Granted you will not have Radical Honesty with your friends, but honesty should be a rule of thumb.

If you LB with your friends again over time you will begin to lose their love and hence the friendship will end.

I believe MB is the crown jewel, and parenting/friendships fall into the lower tier.

I am working very hard to apply MB concepts to my kids even though WH is out of the picture because I want them to see how it can be applied to their future.

If I use POJA in a parent specific way with my kids I am teaching them how to apply that to their marriages. Hopefully in the future I can have a husband who will be by my side to fully demonstate MB to my children. If not, I can at least teach them how it works specifically to parenting.

Tough~

Yes tough, but your children are part of you also, so it applies

I think Pep was talking about the danger of not prioritizing relationships and the posibility of couselling someone, to apply MB principles to all relationships, with someone who is having problemsa across the board, with honesty.

MB is for the marriage relationship first, and discussing E.needs with others with others, is what gets us into trouble.

See this thread, for what I was addressing, when I posted to the the poster,"MB can work in all relationships, if you have the time to invest in it".

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553826#Post2553826

Lol, you gotta admit, that leaves us wide open to inappropaiate relationships. Good call from Pep

But with our kids, family members, much of it can and should be used, IMO too. But it is mostly needed, between the Husband and Wife.


priorties

I knew what you meant.
I was pretty sure the poster in question would not.

Every now and then, a couple of newbie MBers will get so excited about their new found MB knowledge, that they will declare:

(All excited) ... "I'm going to Plan A for life !". The other will say: "Me too! Plan A for life!". (They exchange back pats)

And we oldies go

I KNOW what they mean when they say "Plan A for life".
They mean, avoid love-busters (for life), and fill their spouse's important intimate ENs (for life). Both good and wonderful. But, Plan A is more than that.

But, since their proclamation might be misconstrued by others who do not yet understand the workings of Plan A, they must be (gently) corrected.

IMO, the concept of RADICAL honesty (feelings, personal history, etc) within marriage is a difficult one. It takes courage and a leap of faith to be radically honest with one's spouse. It also takes timing and tact, IMO. I personally have benefited when I have delayed my outpouring of "radical honesty" until I've had time to evaluate how I want to express myself.

Factual honesty is what you are talking about. (I think)
Sometimes it is factually honesty to say to a friend or acquaintance, or even to a family member: "I am not willing to share that information with you."
Same goes for factual honesty with our kids. Some things are not their business. My kids know I did some drug experimentation in the 60's. But I have no obligation to burden them with the details.




Can you cite an example?
I can see how in some circumstances this might work, while in other circumstances it positively will not.

For example:
I would never POJA underage drinking with my kids.
It is non negotiable.

I might POJA which movie tickets to buy, or which restaurant to go out to eat.

ITA