How classic.

We TOLD you she would do this.
WHY are you surprised?


Exactly as predicted.


blah blah blah


Your WW is lying & making stuff up to try & make you feel bad.


Wanna bet?
She will try to get YOU to file.
She's all bluster and rage right now.

STOP paying attention to what she says.
It's all crap right now.

Time to take any joint money and open a separate account.
Do not spend it.
Just keep her from spending it.
Time to CANCEL all jointly held credit cards.

she was talking about 50% custody and keeping me on her insurance.

STOP listening to her.
She is full of vicious CRAP at the moment.

You need to calm down, my friend. You have done the right thing and your wife is just upset that you ruined her affair. If you start acting like you did something wrong, all you are doing is handing her ammunition to use against you. Anyone who tells you that exposure is bad or that it can be used against you is GIVING YOU BAD INFORMATION. You cannot be sued for telling the truth. No judge in the world will hold it against you for telling TRUTH. But many, many judges will hold it against your wife for COMMITTING ADULTERY.

So, you need to CALM DOWN. Go get your kids and go home. Stop falling apart and TAKE CHARGE OF THIS SITUATION. Take your kids home and take charge of your family, Sir.

STOP ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE PULLED ALL OVER THE PLACE BY A HYSTERICAL WAYWARD AND HER SILLY FRIENDS.

Go home and take charge of your family. Tell her if she wants to leave, she can leave, but she can't take the kids. And tell her you won't agree to any 50/50 setup since she is an unfit parent. You will be introducing her adultery and going for PRIMARY custody with full possession of the house. You will have the OM subpoenaed to give sworn testimony of the affair. All of their emails, texts and cell phone records will be supoenaed.

Do this calmly and firmly. She is trying to scare you and SHE HAS SUCCEEDED. You need to stop this and GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF.

You need to call the police if she is violent. If she throws anything or hits you, you have an obligation to call the police.

OMG do they ALL threaten this? Mine did. OW said she was taking legal action too. However no wayward on this forum has ever actually gone through and tried it for real though. It would be great if they did. They would find out in front of a packed courtroom that it isnt actually against the law to tell the truth and save your marriage.

Lying like this shows how desperate and cornered she is. Next she'll be threatening you with her flying monkeys

Plus, I doubt you used a censored word in your exposure - that is her own conscience talking and she doesn't like the fact that its been freed to sting her.

Shes flying pretty high on the helium of anger and she is going to fall HARD. I would be feeling pretty good about the success of your methods so far.




I would stop telling them info if they are going to tip off your wife like this. That will not help you take away her crack pipe.





Go straight out an buy a recorder, you need proof she is being violent and to protect yourself against false allegations



Calmly tell her to try that little thing if she wants to. I wouldnt mention that is clear she wont expose her actions to a judge in that way. Or that judges take a much dimmer view of adultery than of someone saving their marriage by teling truth. She already knows this and is firing blanks at you in a desperate attempt to bluff you into submission.



Do NOT let her rattle you no matter what she says. You need a GREAT poker face.

Simply say (chirpily and confidently) that your lawyer is dealing with that. But that you hope taking the children from her wont be necessary. That you think the best thing for everyone is that she chooses to work on the marriage.

She wants to get quickly back to facebook and OM and being the hottest thing ever.

While you continue to provide her with a family life.

The only way she gets to have both things is by making you an enabler and getting you to back down with threats.

She doesnt have time for lawyers and courtrooms. Plus OM is prob going to throw her under a bus.

It all hinges on how cool and confident you can be.

Be JAMES BOND.

Get the recorder

Get legal advice about your daughters

Get tough.

Because you ruined her affair!!!

You're doing great. May not feel like it, but with an WS as deep as she is you're exactly where your supposed to be.

Lies, insults, and empty promises of future actions are par for the course.

Smile don't engage and start to put your list of EPs and expectations of your new post A marriage on paper so when the vitriol ends you are prepared to make the next step with her.

This is a long trip you are starting so hang in there and enjoy the ride.

Nonsense. She cant fool around like that and call the shots. As she will discover.

Well done, my friend

If she was a drug addict or an alcoholic would she expect you to keep that secret too - so that people wouldn't think she was a drug addict or an alcoholic? Probably yes. Would it be the right thing to do? No.

All you have done is kill the SECRECY under which affairs thrive and ask for support. This is crucial in saving your marriage and family. GREAT JOB!

I know it doesn't feel like it, but you have a chance. You didn't before.

Do not leave.

For MrA!

Looks like you did a good job on the affair killing!

And aren't all way wards the same, they all spew the same stuff, there is absolutely no originality.

Nobody is going to sue
They all claim exposure killed the marriage, umh no, the affair would have, this gives it a chance.
They are all livid, the more livid, the better the killing was!


We should make a standard list somewhere, all reactions are the same.

Be ready to have people telling you this is a private matter between you and your wife and that you shouldn't be airing your dirty laundry...

I hated that...and never had a real good answer for it

Hurrah, Mr.A!

See how it works? You are going to need to use every ounce of strength to STAY CALM.

YOU are in the lead. She is not. You just took the crack pipe from the addict, and she is throwing a tantrum that will a) not last, and b) has to happen.

It's called rock bottom, and she knows she's there.

YOU ARE LEADING HER back to sanity. Got that? Stay strong.

Get thee to Walmart and buy that VAR. Her crazies will be around for awhile.

DOT NOT DO THIS ANYMORE

>>>> "Told her I did that to rub it in her face when she lied about contact."<<<<<<<<<

You must maintain control of you and not be baited into these responses. It's what she wants.

I was only told this by someone who knew about his A, hadnt told me and felt guilty

I replied the A was not a PRIVATE matter between me and WH but a SECRET matter between him and OW. A choice I'd nothing to do with.

I said I was not comfortable keeping such a destructive and cruel secret which harms not just me but both our families.

Then I said I was surprised to hear an old friend, whose opinion I had always respected, who had been a wedding guest supporting the beginning of our marriage, condoning adultery.

I said I would like him to persuade his friend, WH to do better in regards to his marriage and towards himself.

But then said 'But that's your call, just as doing this was mine'.

Yes Plan A = cool. NO ANGRY OUTBURSTS. Leave those to her, you are in control.

Such nuclear exposure in an ambush style tend to draw out a very angry and resentful response from the WS. WW thinks you forever ruined her public image and reputation. This is a natural response and should have been expected. From this point on, you just keep your calm, and answer to her outburst, like "I did what I had to do to protect this family",or "that was my last resort to stop this affair that has been going on for too long", or "your affair has been found out by your husband, yet you refuse to end it and continued on this affair without any sign of ending it and without any consideration for your husband's feelings. If you were in my shoes, honestly what would you have done? Keep this secret to protect your image from everyone? Seriously how long did you think I would keep this as our ugly family secret?"

This kind of brutal exposure is to kill the affair. Nothing more and nothing less. However, there is this explosive resentment and anger that you have to deal with afterwards. Some WWs will demand D immediately naming the exposure as the main reason, and some percentage of those may actually stick to this and indeed end M. However, think in this terms. If such exposure indeed solidifies WW's will to D, then that shows how little WW values her M in the first place. With such WW, the chance of R would have been nil no matter what other method you had tried.

Just try riding out this crazy wave of anger from your W, and wait till WW wakes out of fog. Realizing the A is now exposed to everyone and she cannot continue A anymore, she will be forced to reasses the situation. She may still end up wanting to D or may want to R. Either way, with A stopped, she will be more open toward R than while she was carrying on her A. Good Luck.