Your not understanding what I just wrote here...I did choose to have an emotional affair. However, my point here is that YOU MUST create a christian filled home, build your hedges and grow together...My husband tried to do this after this affair started we were completely emotionally detached...He 'found' God after which angered me more because I had went to him on several occasions to try to be stronger in Faith...nothing...I SHOULD HAVE NEVER did what I did I AGREE...However, what God is laying on me is this...YOU can't make the person that is having the affair love you unless THEY FEEL and HAVE A CHANGE of HEART. If you choose to shame your wife THINK about her HEART has she ever know God? Think about the ramifications if you expose it to every facet of your life...are you willing to take the chance of her DYING and never being united with Christ again? BE careful...DONT continue to JUDGE me and tell me it was your choice...I KNOW! My point here is THINK and PRAY before you make a decision as my husband did.
Here's what I'm reading here...
"You don't understand how much I'm hurt... My affair was not that bad and he made a bigger deal out of it than it was".
What I hear here is "ME ME ME" That really in your heart, you are unrepentant. You are mad because your actions drove him to God? You aren't grateful for that? Shame on you. God took what YOU meant for evil and turned it to good.
By the way, you shamed yourself when you violated what God had joined together (you and your husband). You brought shame on the family. He brought your sin to light. Evil men love darkness and hate the light because their deeds are done in darkness. Your deeds were evil and you acted in an evil way... These are the words recorded by the apostle john in his gospel. Hon, you aren't having a divine epiphany here. You are justifying your actions and twisting scripture. Go read the book of Hosea. Heck read most of the old Testament and see how God exposed the shame of Israel for their spiritual adultery. He used it to change their heart.
Hos 2:10 Now I will uncover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and no one shall rescue her out of my hand.