My analysis of her letter was that she was trying to blame MrA for the conditions for the affair, and for the affair also.

Then she was betrayed while at the swim meet,(devoted poor suffering servant), and MrA told lies and blew everything out of porportion. (doesn't she know an EA is just as damaging to a marriage, and just a prelude to a PA?) This tells the tale of her own self deception.

Then the finale, her time with God at the brink of self destruction, the ultimate act of selfishness and wanting it thier own way. "I'll hold my breath till I die!" and "I'll make you sorry yes I will!"

I have no doubt that she heard God, and that she was told to "Go to her husband, and tell him that you love him", I just wished that she also heard, "Show him, prove to him, that you love him". What does that mean that she heard God? It was the depth of her conscience speaking, in the face of her despair, that she didn't know what she thought she did, and it had gotten out of control.

But the dribble of how Satan was to blame, well, we all have that capacity to listen to the father of lies, and we are evil in our nature. We chain ourlselves willingly to the desires of the flesh, because we don't want to admit that we have them, and Satans the scapegoat. Remember the old testement when all sins were placed upon a goat and it was sent out into the wilderness? The goat is a lusty animal, and headstrong, and independant. Rebellion is like this also, and the devices of the mind can lead us to these places. But trying to blame everybody else, for the deception we enjoy at the moment, is just the wayward script.

Us objective can see it MrA, and you are having a hard time with seeing it, because you love her and are willing to sacrifice all for her. Adam made the same choice, as he loved Eve so much, he would be seperated from God to be with her. There was then the first blood sacrifice, of animals to clothe them with thier skins. Do you think God was trying to tell them something? That it was our animal nature that caused us to stray? Our fear and natural emotions that caused our human nature to make excuses and reasons for the seeds of corruption that enters our minds?

We were created for fellowship with God, not to doubt his rules and precepts, but to trust and obey them, and understand them sometimes in hindsight, after we have learned how to be obediant. He is allways waiting, his mercys are unseachable, we will be spending eternity marveling at his grace. We are all in need of instruction, and as much as he is willing to give to all that are willing to recieve, He is a God of Spirtual Warfare, and this is a Battle for your marriage, of what He is is the leader of.

Ecclesiastes 4:12
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken

So I have no doubt that he spoke to her, but He is waiting to speak to her still, and help her out of this mess she has gotten herself into.

Proverbs 24:6
For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety

You can be sure that the counsel here is wise, and this is spirtual Warfare, where Satan is attemtpting to use the word of God against His children. Remember, Satan knows the word very well, better than we do, or any Pastor in any church. The best we can do is ignore him, and stay faithful, in a wicked world.

Anyone else get the feeling we lost him? His last post was way before he would have gotten off work.

Yes but im hoping its down to web access and not manipulation from Ms unrepenant.

Oh yeah...right

Folks, I have done some indepth analysis of her letter and here is my professional opinion of her meaning:

click here for some deep insight from Madame Mel

Its gonna be a tough road with him, as she is crafty is her hiding, and picking and choosing God and scripture to justify her actions.

I bet she has a new load of crap to sell him when he gets home, her mind is quick, and she has learned how to hide well.

I am still concerned with her suicide attempts, because of her desparate nature. Hope he is watching her carefully, especially if he doesn't let her have it her way.

My money's on her playing another sex card.

Hopefully, he's called her out on the carpet already and put a stop to all this crap.

I realize you are very new at this and I would ask you to let us help this man. I know you mean well, but it is not helpful to him to get conflicting advice. Most of us posting to this man have been here for years and are very well versed in best practices. It is a mistake to show the slightest bit of regret for exposure when dealing with a very angry WS who is looking for ammunition. The only kind of "sorry" should be along the lines of "sorry you feel so bad." and nothing beyond that. He has to be very careful right now because he is dealing with a crazy addict who is looking for ammunition.


Again, now is not the time to lower the bar. These are standard extraordinary precautions and EPs are not negotiable. She has to agree to do these things in order for the marriage to recover. If she doesn't agree, then the marriage won't be saved.

Please back off and allow us to help this man. He needs to be hearing one voice from those of us who are experienced.

I see your WAV file and its not wayyyyy foggy enough... So I raise you "War of the worlds" "Reality VS Wayward fantasy world"

Better Translation

that is scary!!!!

Early this afternoon, I posted the following challenge to you:

Of course, that's assuming you get a backbone, and start explaining to her that the game is to be played by your rules, or not at all!

You're not stepping up to the task, Mr A. YOU are the one to be setting the rules for the possible recovery, not the fogged-out, demonstrably untrustworthy cheater you are married to. She intends to seize the reins (as it appears she has had all along in your marriage). You must fight to regain control.

(On 11 October you were given the guidelines for what was to come. If you recall the last admonition was to "Brace yourself". Now you can see why.)

Mr. A. only has internet access at work, so he drops off at night. Just FYI.

My pastor once talked about a problem in the church with men. And that problem is that men are not leading. Women want to be 'lead' by a strong man, not one that is going to break and lack confidence.

Be a strong man. If you need, go back and read the Old Testament. Ask what Moses, Josh, and the others would do...

They'd storm in, and take over. Her attitude is like Goliath...you take up the sling of David.

All this "the devil made me do it" makes my head spin. We're not in Salem where there are devils flying around vexxing everyone. She had poor boundaries and CHOSE to have an affair.

You need to stand your ground. You have your conditions and if she is not willing to meet those, then she should go and be married to someone that will settle for less. She wants and needs your strength and resiliance.

When we make mistakes, we get called on them. She's embarrassed. So what. I was embarrassed when I got caught stealing as a teenager and had my picture put on the wall for everyone to see at the store. The other thing is while the friends will talk, this will be forgotten as people get into their own issues.

Well dude, it looks like you caved in.

Hope that works well for you.

I think you are on your own, we obviously don't know enough to help.

Mr A. if you are still here. I am truly sorry you have chosen the path of pain, sorrow, and divorce.

I hope HER god is good enough for you because, right now, its not the same God I know.

Methinks his wife (the prophetess) called him after having finally found his thread and he left work early and has been duking it out ever since.

I'm certainly no expert but she sounds bipolar to me. Paranoid, delusions of grandure...All knowing, all seeing, suicidal.

Of course this may also be typical WW behavior.

Crazy like a fox. I see her as crafty, manipulative and sneaky.

Mr A,

Stay and get the help you two need, don't bail, you have to be able to take the 2x4's in the beginning, it's part of the process........
Wake you up never make a mistake again.......all part of the deal here