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Joined: Sep 2011
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Just out of curiosity, for those of you that have done Plan B, how does child visitation work for you all?
Although I have only been in Plan B for a few days, the claws are coming out from WH regarding child care.
I know an IM can handle all of the communication between you and your spouses, but do spouses generally even see their kids at this time?
Its just funny to me that WH is suddenly "inconvenienced" and doesn't like the schedule we have set up for DD.
Thoughts?
BS-me
1 child
Matthew 5:44 (CEV)
"But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you"
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Child visitation is handled with the WS picking up the child from the drive way [not coming into the house] or having a friend/relative do the exchange at their house. It is a good idea to set up a schedule and have the IM send it. If the WS can't meet that schedule, then you can try and accommodate him. But try to keep to basic days and times with few changes, such as every Wednesday night and maybe every Sat afternoon.
Most WS' get enraged about Plan B because they don't like losing control of the BS. So they try to get the BS to break Plan B. They usually use the children as an excuse. All of a sudden they are "concerned" about the children and try to bully the BS into "co-parenting" schemes.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2011
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There are protective orders to keep the spouse from seeing the child at this time.
You can also draw up your own parenting plan, that includes spousal and child support and child care arrangements.
Do a little bit of home work. See what a parenting plan looks like and discuss it with him
Or go seek an attorney.
D-Day 13 Sep 2011
Married 19 years
My age 40
WH age 46
Children Boy 8 girl 6
Currently trying to get my children back. He took them for 3 hours on 10/19/2011
WS left 10/18/2011
As soon as my children are home again I will be working on the darkest Plan B possible
My marriage is over !
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Joined: Apr 2001
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T See what a parenting plan looks like and discuss it with him The problem is that she is in Plan B, so the best she can do is send a schedule through her IM. But she can't have direct contact.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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There have been WSs who do want to see their children, and those that don't. In some ways, the less the WS deal with the children, the better, especially when they are bringing the OP around the children. That should be stopped, if at all possible.(ie, no overnights if WS is living with OP)
You do as MelodyLane suggested and you set up a visitation schedule, and send it through the IM. Make sure that it goes with what he would legally be entitled, at minimum. If he wants more visitation, he can fight for it.
Also, make sure that you allow calls, or emails(depending on age), maybe even daily if your child wants that.
All you need to do is facilitate visitations, if your WH decides that he doesn't want to exercise his rights, that is on him. Make sure that you document all of it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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The I way am doing this with my WW is she actually has custody. SUCKS! But I will either pick them up from school and she will have their bags waiting for me on porch. Buying them clothes to keep here at my house so I don't even have to see her vehicle. Or she will drop the off at a day care. After she leaves I will pick them up. Takes about 10 min from the time she drops them off to when I pick them up. Daycare charges me $2 to do this. SO not bad financially.
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Joined: Sep 2011
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Most WS' get enraged about Plan B because they don't like losing control of the BS. So they try to get the BS to break Plan B. They usually use the children as an excuse. All of a sudden they are "concerned" about the children and try to bully the BS into "co-parenting" schemes. This is what I mean by "claws coming out" The thing is, we have a set schedule, and now he is very upset because he doesn't have time to himself. He wants some different kind of arrangement. I was just curious as to how everyone else deals with this, its such a headache. To me, either you want to spend time with your kids or you don't. I understand the "need" for personal time, but this is madness.
BS-me
1 child
Matthew 5:44 (CEV)
"But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you"
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 171
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 171 |
There are protective orders to keep the spouse from seeing the child at this time.
You can also draw up your own parenting plan, that includes spousal and child support and child care arrangements.
Do a little bit of home work. See what a parenting plan looks like and discuss it with him
Or go seek an attorney. Thank you, I have done all of these things, and even gave the information to him the Plan B letter. I even told him about parallel parenting and all of that. I guess what Melody said is what is happening to me: that he is losing control of me and the situation and does not like it one bit.
BS-me
1 child
Matthew 5:44 (CEV)
"But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you"
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