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. I dried my tears and said in a firm voice that he had to fire her. No contact, no taking her love letters, no phone calls nothing. . Did he agree to fire her?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Your next step is to get a restraining order against this woman. She has already threatened you, so get an attorney and find out about getting one.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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No he did not agree to fire her, I think he hopes she just goes away, she cant stay sober at work and has to be escorted out. I have no idea what the big deal is why he is being so difficult about it. Maybe he is worried she will tell me or show me something that is really bad.
I went to the police dept and was told she has to do something, something bad before the will give her a restraining order. Crazy, crazy I worry every time I hear a car drive bye.
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Ok after a good cry, I pulled myself together and used your advise. I dried my tears and said in a firm voice that he had to fire her. No contact, no taking her love letters, no phone calls nothing. I also told him I would have an investigator take her picture and show his parents and family, our kids, everyone what he is playing with and throwing our marriage away for. I have had enough I cant live in limbo. She wants me to get angry enough at him to move out so she can have the house. Hell no I told him I will take the house an sue him for putting my life in harms way by having sex with a hairoin addicted prostitute and unprotected sex at that. Well lets see what Monday brings, I am now watching him like a hawk to see if he slips up and contacts her this weekend. Thanks for the advice. You should be exposing. People need to know what is going on to end this dirty little secret. Sounds like his bosses especially need to know as well as friends and family. Do you have any evidence, texts emails etc? But do not WARN exposure. It must be unexpected so he cannot do damamge control telling people you are crazy/marriage unnhappy/ blah blah blah As for threatening him financially, that's great, that will get passed back to her and he wont look so good then.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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No he did not agree to fire her, I think he hopes she just goes away, she cant stay sober at work and has to be escorted out. I have no idea what the big deal is why he is being so difficult about it. Maybe he is worried she will tell me or show me something that is really bad. Sabregray, this is not a negotiable issue. You need to tell him that either he leaves or she leaves or he has to move out. I would demand that he end all contact. If not he needs to move out so you can go into Plan B. I know why he doesn't want to fire her, so he can pursue his affair. Don't even argue with him about it. Tell him she has to go or he moves out.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Saber, is your H the owner? Or are there other owners you can expose to? If so, I would expose the affair to all the owners just as Indiegirl suggested.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He is not the owner of the company he is the boss of that department. From what he told me they have a contract with the shipping company and he helped get her the job, I guess so they could be close together.
I will expose the affair to his parents and as for his work they all now now they made up a little song about and sing and laugh. She is happy they all now but my husband is devastated by it. The whole company now's because of her crying and drinking and telling everyone she his having his child.
Things are so bad at his work I am not sure what is going to happen Monday I wish I was a fly on the wall I would bring popcorn its like Jerry Springer show.
I asked him the name of this shipping company and he wont tell me when I when down there is it was unmarked trucks ugh.
Last edited by Sabregray; 10/23/11 12:50 PM.
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Sabre, that is perfect. We have a letter you can send to the director of human resources, a key VP, and to your husbands boss. They will be forced to take official action. I will post the letter when I get on my laptop or maybe someone else can post it.
I would start by exposing the affair first thing tomorrow morning. In the meantime, you would be telling your husband today that he either leaves the job, she leaves,or he gets out. Those are his only choices. You have to put your foot down, saber.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you I will! I feel more hopeful today 
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Thank you I will! I feel more hopeful today Having a clear plan, and taking the steps of your plan is empowering. You will grow in confidence as you act on your plan instead of react to the chaos. Remember this when you feel confused. Stick to your plan.
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Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney � be sure and send this letter to the Director of HR, a key company VP and supervisors of the affairees, ccing them all on this letter. It is important to cc them so that no one is tempted to toss the letter:
To Whom It May Concern:
This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.
WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.
If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.
Regards,
BS
_________________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Great letter thanks so much!
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