Posted updates on other section but need some brutal honesty this one is famous for

Wife's affair is over, although i did expose and her commander said "see him again and get a bad conduct discharge" it wasn't enough to keep her from her "true love", that is until he tossed her aside like a piece of trash (40 something man with wife and kids using a 20 something just for sex, who saw that coming )

My Plan A sucked, shes in another country, couldn't stop the affair, and at times my anger got the best of me.

She doesn't want to work on it.
Did i chase her away with love busters? (her claim)
Is she afraid to have it over her head? (something she has mentioned)
Or (and it could very well be my pride talking) is there someone waiting in the wings?
(she says no, but I've lost access to snoop and she has never been alone since being 15)

In 2 weeks she comes "home" then 5 days later moves 3 states away.

I can

A. Go with her, with the intent of Plan A. (This appeals to my emotional side because everything leading to the affairs are things i have been working on for the last year,while she was away, before i even knew of the affairs. It kills me that i can't share that with her) But i know it's incredibly stupid

B.Kids and i move in with my Aunt 1 state away. (This appeals to my logic as from what i've heard legal wise it really cements my custodial custody of the children.)

I'm fairly certain she's being honest with me. (perhaps naively) My evil MIL has been telling me to go with wife to work on it, while telling wife to string me alone to get children out there then divorce me Wife told me

Guess the question is if i do the logical thing. If i protect my relationship with my children will that end of my marriage?
I know distance will only harm the opportunity to make deposits, and there is no POJA going on with this. Plus my plan A stunk.

Anyone, shed some light on this? Is recovery possible after separation? Or should i take my wife's advice at face value and move on.

What led to her affairs was being separated. Until that situation can be rectified, this is hopeless. So that is where I would start if I were you. Will she let you live with her? And will she commit to the marriage?

It's not all the separation, though definitely a problem. I discovered an affair that took place here at home. Though it was a physical only as opposed to the "love of her life" one she found while gone.

She has offered to have the kids and i come with her and live "like roommates". But has straight out said "i thought about trying to work on it but you've said things you cant take back" "its been over for a while"
"i don't think i can love you again"
"i don't want to work on it right now"
"how could you love me, i think it's a security thing"
"my feelings haven't changed for you"
"only way i could think to stay is for the kids"

So no. She will not commit "at this time"

If she is a serial cheater and she wont commit to recovery, then there is nothing here to save.

Thanks. Just the "hard nose" i was looking for btw.

Now the question is do plan A. from my new home,
(The full reality hasn't kicked her in the butt yet)

Or Just go plan B for my own sake?