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FWH seems sincere in not remembering but I just struggle with that. Seems odd to me. Pokerface, your FWH may be sincere. My IM (a long time friend) is a FWW who had an EA. At the time she was separating from her BH she was spouting so much fog babble to me (although I at the time didn't know about MB and just thought she was was acting crazy) She had only known OM for 3 weeks on holiday in another country and described him as her "soul mate", that she had never felt like that about anyone else, that she had never loved BH in that way, that BH and her were always "just friends". She has since happily reconciled with FBH, and can't remember the majority of this talk, especially about "soul mates", etc. She remembers that she felt there were some rather minor communication issues in her marriage that she simply exaggerated in her confusion and to justify her feelings... largely she was so shocked by her feelings for someone other then her BH that she assumed she must love the OM. Luckily for her BH she cut all communication with OM during the separation to try to figure out her feelings of confusion, and her ultimate decision was she needed to put more effort into her marriage (and so did BH). A happy story, they now have a beautiful 3-year-old daughter, it can hapen! And now I am going through being a BW she is getting to see just how a devestating her continuing the affair would have been, I think she is grateful for her decision every time we speak / see each other.
Me (BW): 35 Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it. Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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CV-
You made me blush.
mike Sorry! There's just some crazy stuff they say! CV
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 I have no fear of "competing." I'm pretty sure anything I do beats 5-10 minutes in a mini-storage unit... /facepalm Lol... this rings soooooo true! 
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The thing that I find even more astounding than the babble that they spew is that when the fog starts to lift they will have absolutely NO memory of saying any of these things. Apparently quite normal, or so I have heard. My mom doesn't remember some of the things she said or did either. It is like invasion of the body snatchers.I have said THAT VERY THING SO MANY TIMES!!! And it's TRUE!! Same person.....But SOMEBODY ELSE IS IN THERE!!!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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As my fog lifts I continue to process the babble I have heard...
Me: "I need to make sure I eat some lunch, I'm losing too much weight". WH: "Yes, I noticed that... do you think it is because you are happy now so not comfort eating?"
Truly, my mind boggles at how self-absorbed the WH can become, and the constant attempts to minimise the BS's pain.
Me (BW): 35 Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it. Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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As my fog lifts I continue to process the babble I have heard...
Me: "I need to make sure I eat some lunch, I'm losing too much weight". WH: "Yes, I noticed that... do you think it is because you are happy now so not comfort eating?"
Truly, my mind boggles at how self-absorbed the WH can become, and the constant attempts to minimise the BS's pain. 
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I was just reading the first page of my thread, and I saw this little one about the wedding band my WH wore.
I had it pointed out to me, while we were at pool, that my WH had taken off his wedding band. I told him I needed to talk to him outside.
Me "You took off your wedding band?"
WH "Yes."
Me "When?"
WH "A week ago."(I remembered him playing with it 6 days earlier, and him almost taking it right off)
Me "Where is it?"
WH "I keep it safely in my pocket so I don't lose it."
Me "Give it to me." Said as calmly as possible, without many tears.
Really? Safely in his pocket? He could have left it ANYWHERE, like I dunno ON HIS FINGER. It hadn't been lost off of that finger for 12 years, I don't think there was much chances it was gonna crawl away.
Waywards and what they say and do while in the fog seems strange, until you see that they all share one brain.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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This came out of OW piehole after I would no longer allow her to take my kids on trips to the zoo and other fun adventures in her attempt to steal the kids from me along with my DH.
OW: Lets leave "adult" issues to the adults and not break the kids spirit.
Me (in my head): Right, you sneaking around with their Dad and breaking up their family will not break their spirit in the least. That statement is so wrong on so many levels.
Last edited by pokerface; 08/21/11 06:12 PM.
ME: BW HIM: FWH Married 18 yrs DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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I've been reading here a long time and have never heard anything like this: BW: I asked you not to bring back anything from your trips for me (I no longer travel with him since we are separated). I have told you before this is a trigger but you don't seem to take me seriously.  WH: The triggers are your fault! (he says angrily while pointing). You were the one who had to ask all the questions about my AFFAIRS. If you hadn't, this wouldn't bother you! 
Last edited by seeingclearly; 08/21/11 06:26 PM.
me: bw, 50 he: wh, 51
m: 1990 sep: 2007
dd: 18 ds: 14 dd: 11
multiple affairs: two with past gf's, one email dalliance. Too many d-days to count. First one 2/06. After all this time, it's still my fault.
I've had enough. Divorce in progress.
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I've been reading here a long time and have never heard anything like this: BW: I asked you not to bring back anything from your trips for me (I no longer travel with him since we are separated). I have told you before this is a trigger but you don't seem to take me seriously.  WH: The triggers are your fault! (he says angrily while pointing). You were the one who had to ask all the questions about my AFFAIRS. If you hadn't, this wouldn't bother you!  Just before my fww's 1st affair: Friend: Did you think your H was sexy when you met him? W: Sexy? I thought he was cute. Friend: Cute like I wanna date him or cute like an ugly puppy dog cute? W: Hahahahaha! Cute like an ugly puppy-dog, but he grew handsome!
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Bump for Livensi and anyone else who needs a laugh for the weekend!
Me (BW): 35 Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it. Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Thanks Caracal. This is such a great thread it really made my day.
I just got one from my H few mins back.
There is some event in his office for the kids of the employees. Poor H is scared to take the kid, cos of his A with a cowerker and the kid is well aware of that thanks to me. It seems H is scared the kid might tell something to his colleagues so did not take him and emails me that: "poor kid stuck in the kinder garden now, thanks to you!"
BW - me 30 WH 34 Married 8 years, together 12 years DS 6, DS 1 D-Day1-5 Feb 2011-I was 8 month pregnant,-D-day2-April 2011, D-day3-5 August 2011 Separated June to August, WH came back for a week, but couldn't make it and moved out. Came back home 12 September after I spoke to his boss and "blackmailed" him. Plan A - 12 to 25 Sept Plan B - 26 Sept - 26 October Another FR 26 October - 16 March Plan B - 16 March to July 2012 coexisting since then OW still in the picture
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There is some event in his office for the kids of the employees. Poor H is scared to take the kid, cos of his A with a cowerker and the kid is well aware of that thanks to me. It seems H is scared the kid might tell something to his colleagues so did not take him and emails me that: "poor kid stuck in the kinder garden now, thanks to you!" Yep, ITS ALL YOUR FAULT he had the affair! AND told the truth about it. Glad the thread cheered you up Livensi, it really shows that very little that comes out of the wayward's mouth can be trusted. Black humour it may be, but gotta love it! Now... are you back to planning Plan B?
Me (BW): 35 Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it. Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Bumping this thread has unleashed in my memory some crazy quotes from WH that I have been sitting on, trying to figure out if I got it wrong due to the total shock and denial going on at the time.... but no, now with Plan B and clarity I see it was total gaslighting.
After dumping me second time via phone from London... Me: "But WH, before you flew out you told me we were NOT just having goodbye SF" WH: "No, you said that meant nothing, no strings attached..."
For the life of me I can't remember saying that... but I think he really has convinced himself I said it as a means of justifying his behaviour.
And another one when my mother challenged him about being cruel when he didn't contact me after my first counselling appointment. WH: "But I told her to ring me if she wanted to discuss it"!
Again, something that slipped my memory of events!
"Don't forget that in addition to the lies that liars tell you, there are lies that liars tell themselves. After a period of time passes, the liars begin to believe their own lies. Never forget: if they don't succeed in convincing you, they will convince a far more gullible subject, themselves.�
Me (BW): 35 Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it. Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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I have just read something so profound and eloquent that I simply had to post it here: ... talk is meaningless. Sorry, but the promises of a wayward are about as meaningful as a fart. Between the wayward's promise and the fart, I know which one I'd rather be in a room with.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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dat was deep, huh?? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Very deep. Aristotle would have killed for a line like that!
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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Me -BS 40 Him - FWH 34 (dtl) 3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11 NC - 01/09/11 02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Lol, this thread is hilarious!
WH: Its either your way or the highway Me: Oh really? Me wanting a faithful husband is my way or the highway? (guess he better get packing then lol)
WH: Unless God puts it in my heart, I don't want anything to do with you.
WH: You broke our family by making those phone calls (due to me exposing, military-style) Me: I broke our family? Me making some phone calls to your super broke our family? What about you sleeping with skank? That didn't break our family?
WH: The first time I "live" I get into trouble. Its just not fair. Other military members do this, and their wives don't turn them in. Me: I'm not those other wives.
and my favorite... WH: What I did is NOT a crime Me: (in silence, thinking of the days when people used to get stoned for this)
BS-me 1 child
Matthew 5:44 (CEV) "But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you"
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oh wait...another one:
WH: you just can't let this go, can you?
He said this to me while having an active affair with military skank...I wonder why I can't let it go...hmm. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he is sleeping with another woman and I just won't put up with that bull. Geeze, maybe there is something spectacularly wrong with me for not being able to just shake this one off....
BS-me 1 child
Matthew 5:44 (CEV) "But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you"
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