Well after a short stint working with SH and MarriageBuilders, my wife told me Saturday she does NOT want to work on the marriage, she wants an amicable divorce. She has no love for me that way and does not want to try and get it back. I begged her to try counseling, she refused all my attempts at trying to salvage the marriage even for our kids. She keeps saying.."I know you feel the same way about this you are just terrified at change". We told the kids, family. I am so depressed and suffering panic attacks, 21 years I was with her and the last 9 months she has been a different woman leading up to this. She acted glum, depressed, quiet all the time. The morning after we agreed to divorce she was like a different woman, happy, chatty, buoyant. Her reaction is quite shocking. I investigated like crazy the last few months and came up with no evidence of an affair. Bad part is I have no spare funds to move out on my own, so I have to live here for a few months to save cash. The pain is excruciating and seeing her around here makes it worse.

You were advised not to move out of your marital home on your other thread

Your wife may not have another man to go to now. but she is probably dreaming about one just the same.

But she is hiding something with the cell phone behavior.

What do you want us to say? That you shouldn't fight for your marriage? That you should give up on romantic love? That this is some special circumstance and you are different? That falling out of love is rare? That this time, this situation, your wife and you are different than the thousands of couples that have restored thier marriages?

Sorry, no chance, you two are just like everyone else.

Get pissed off instead of getting pissed on and fight for her buddy. Take control, be the leader Hume, and don't move out for Gods sake. If she wants to party let her, make her pay for it.

Unless you show more initiative and fortitude, there is nothing I can do for you. The people here FIGHT for thier marrige, they don't give up so easily.

Or didn't you know that it is a battle to stay married in the world the way it is? Do you not know that you must cherish it, and put up protections for it, nurture and care for it, every day that you are together?

What will your children think, when you give in so easily to this whim of hers?

What do you think a marriage is anyways? Convienience? Your attitude is one of apathy Hume.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, find out what is up in her iresponsible head, for your sake, her sake, and your childrens sake please..