The Tsunami
Miles below the surface, tension builds as two geological features, typically crustal plates, grind against one another. The tension build-up is slow, on a geologic time-scale, so it goes completely unnoticed by all but the most-competent experts, and sometimes, not even then.

Deep within our psyches, tension built up between you and I as our lives became more function-oriented and independent of one another. It happened so slowly, we scarcely realized it was occurring. Sure, there were a few minor slippages, small tremors that we should�ve recognized as warnings, but the tremors never really rose above the rattling of windows, so we just continued our grind, oblivious to the consequences.

Finally, the tension is too strong and one of the crustal plates gives way. The upheaval is deep below the surface of the ocean. If it�s still undetected at this point, there�s little chance that massive destruction can be avoided. The ocean above the quake is dramatically disturbed, jolted with incredible force, creating a shockwave that travels through the water column at an unimaginable speed. Amazingly, casual observance of the water column provides no clue of the devastation that�s streaking beneath the surface.

You reached your breaking point in a marriage where neither of us tended to the emotional needs of the other. You failed to tell me about your unhappiness, robbing me of the opportunity to avoid the impending destruction you�d released. Instead, you turned to your male �friend,� looking for relief, and set off an undercurrent of destruction with more speed and power than you were prepared to handle. To all outward appearances, things were normal, but an emotional tsunami screamed along beneath the surface and our marriage was in imminent danger.

The quake-generated shockwave fills the water column. As the shockwave enters shallower water, the bottom portion of the shockwave slows due to friction with the rising sea floor while the upper portion continues at full speed, creating a �rolling� effect. This effect is responsible for the first visual indicator that a tsunami is imminent: receding surf. The larger the tsunami, the more pronounced is this recession. The few that recognize this harbinger know that, if you�re close enough to see the receding waters, you�re too close to escape, though you can take immediate action that may increase chances of survival. Most people watch in wonder, fascination, and confusion as the sea floor is bared before their eyes, not knowing the meaning, freezing in the face of one of Earth�s most destructive forces.

The affair you unleashed barreled toward its inevitable clash with reality, and there was friction. As you rolled back more and more of the emotional support of our union, much of the ugliness that lay just below the surface was exposed. Clues of your infidelity were laid bare. I recognized what was happening and I immediately headed for high ground. I knew there was no escape, but thought maybe I could survive. I was about to be hit with the most destructive emotional force I�ll face in my lifetime.

No creation of man can withstand the brunt force of the tsunami impact. The water surges, swirls, pushes, ever-rising, flattening everything in its path. Those caught in its grip hold on with everything they have, but the water just keeps coming. Many succumb to the relentless power of the flood; they just can�t hold on. Those that survive the initial surge soon learn their nightmare has just started as the water changes course and flows back out to sea with nearly the same force with which it flowed in. As the waters slow and recede, survivors barely have time to scan the devastation around them before the second wave rolls in. Again and again the roiling water invades. After a time, mercifully, the pent-up energy in the sea finally exhausts itself against the shore.

No amount of suspicion or forewarning prepared me for the impact of the truth of your infidelity. The power of that initial wave literally took me off of my feet. I couldn�t function; the emotional turmoil tore at me with a strength that precluded any action other than holding on. I watched, helplessly, as everything we�d built, everything I knew, everything I loved, was swept away in an instant. My very being was in mortal jeopardy. But, I have survived so far, and I�m gaining confidence that I�ll make it through this. The waves still come, but they�re lessoning in duration and intensity with each surge. My life is preserved, and that�s enough to carry forward for now.

So, the question for the survivor is this: do I rebuild here? We�ll never again be able to sit on this beach, basking in its comfort and beauty, as we did before; there will always be the knowledge of the potential for horror and destruction that this place brings. The happy innocence has been forever erased. For the foreseeable future, the visual scarring will keep this tragedy foremost in our hearts and minds.

Can I build to withstand the angry sea? Can I live with the permanently-scarred landscape? Can I, or more importantly, will I, invest in the type of infrastructure that will provide the security I need to remain in this place?

Every day I bring the shovel, the hammer, all the tools that I have at my disposal, and work to rebuild. I think I have the infallible blueprint. I think we�ve learned our lessons, know the dangers, and can build a life centered around avoiding the destruction that lurks here.

But, when I rest from my work, when the sea is calm and the breeze but a wisp, when all in the world, on my mind, and in my heart is quiet, I can hear my truth. That truth tells me that, despite my fervent desire, despite my work, despite the energies I�m expending to rebuild, I still don�t know if I can live here.