I was here about one year ago : I found out my husband has been using prostitutes since we married. I got all the evidences i could get. I finally confronted him,his initial reaction was to deny everything and made poor excuse. I am not stupid, of course I knew he was lying. but I guess i just care about this marriage so much, I forgave him. and for the past year, I even subconsciously believe his excuse.
people here was suggesting me to tell his parents, but i decided not to. I was afraid that once i did that, our marriage would be over...

now I feel I am a total idiot. I just found that he is still doing the same thing, but much more secretly. . now I couln't get any evidence. I was out of town for a few days, I knew he had "escort" service. he doesn't know i already found out. he has been very sweet these days, obviously he feels "guilty".

we only married for three years. we did argue a lot for the first two years. but our relationship is a lot smoother now. and we are trying to conceive. everything seems good until I found out he never gave up his "habit"

He does seem to care about me and the marriage . is the "prostitute " could be a psychic issue? or he simply just wants to cheat on me.

I feel so hearbroken . I really don't want to divorce just because i do love him. but i don't know if I could save the marriage or not.

Well it makes sense that you have arguments when he is wayward. He wasn't seriuos about marriage in the first place.

You love him, but has he ever loved you seems the question you want answered and are afraid to know the answer.

The answer is what he does, not in what he says or the broken promises.

So you have come to the right place to heal, and try to restore your marriage also. Others will be along with questions and answers for you, and the vets will have a lot of instructions, I would follow thier advice to find out the answers you need to move on with your life.

Read here and learn, and please do not concieve with him while he is sleeping with prostitutes, and get tested for STDS also.

Look for the thread dedicated to "First time posters" to recieve instructions and guidance in posting information pertinant for recovery.

We can help you in every way to "save" the marriage, but just as important is "saving" yourself from this sort of heartache and this is the place to do it, with all the support here dedicated for just that purpose also.

Yeah the prostitutes are a psychic issue of course, and one you should not put up with and sleep with him either because of it.

Please protect yourself.

God Bless

The question of whether he "loves" you is immaterial. He may "love" ice cream, but help himself to cheesecake if it's available!

The question before us is whether you can endure his activities any longer, now that you together are considering starting a family, ("Any longer" is the key modifier here, because any rational person would have known, in the absence of ironclad proof to the contrary, that his prostitution habit would continue.), and more importantly:

ARE YOU WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO END HIS ACTIVITIES?

Your best tool right now is exposure. Put together a firm package of evidence (may neccesitate hiring a PI). E-mails and/or phone records to the escort service, credit card bills, etc, will also help. Then you will send copies of the entire package to his family, clergy, co-workers, local police department, etc, explaining that your WH is engaged in risky, illegal sexual congress outside your marriage, and asking the readers for assistance in ending it. (BTW: NO unprotected SF with "John", probably for six-to-eight months AFTER his behavior ceases.)

We'll call the above "Plan Yes".

"Plan No" is much easier. Call a lawyer. Write off the last three years as a mistake you'll learn from. Be thankful to your maker that you have so far NOT conceived any children with this slug. Move on.

I hope you are not offended with a FWW posting. But you WH does not seem to be concerned with the risks he is taking by seeing a prostitute. Make sure you get tested for STD's and what not.
In addition, maybe I am wrong but love is not enough for a relationship, it requires work and willingness to be compatible.
Do you really want to work on the marriage because you think it is worth saving or because you are afraid to be alone? (not to be mean, just something to think about)
If you do want to save the marriage, he has to be 100% fully committed to making it work by changing his lifestyle, habits, and putting extraordinary precautions in place so it never happens again.
And do not try to conceive unless you want to work it out and only after you have recovered the marriage.

You already know what to do. You are feeling the pain of a False Recovery.

I don't know how you are ever going to feel safe with your WH. He can get a prostitute in many places, and the NCL is most likely out of the question(unless he uses one prostitute and not just whomever they send him).

I would do exactly as NeverGuessed suggested, except that I would expose his adultery either way.

We already told you what to do. Please go re-read your last thread.