I'm so glad that you're doing well. You've made a wise decision.

Thanks for the support you all have provided me since the beginning of the troubles I had caused. Unfortunately, I am not a MB success story. Nothing I can do about it, I tried to apply the concepts and did everything I could.

Anyhow, I appreciate all the support I have received as a WW/FWW. I wish I had listened to the advice sooner and dealt with the situation. But I sometimes felt I needed to be punished for my mistakes and that I had to attempt to compensate STBX with anything he asked for even if meant me being unhappy (not a MB concept).

Sorry just blabbing away. But this is the third day of NC (after it was broken on the weekend), and a few days after discovery. I am doing well. I have not met friends but have chatted with them. Being home in the apartment where the marriage was once good, D-day occurring here and watching the breakdown of our marriage, it has not been as hard as I thought.
I think although it really sucked, the discovery of him dating has forced me to let go and know 100% that it is over. He is out of here, I am not working on saving a marriage, I am working on me and my new life.
I find myself not consumed with thoughts about what could have been, what should have been or what I could have done or did I do enough. I believe I did all that I could to the best of my knowledge with all the resources I had.
I want to be back in a normal routine of eating, studying and working out in the next two weeks. But taking my time:)

Yes, you are.

MB is not a philosophy of saving the marriage at all costs. MB principles teach how to have a GOOD marriage. You and your STBX could not have a good marriage because he wasn't willing to do what it takes. You have wisely chosen to cut your losses and move on.

You are still very young and will probably get married again. You have learned what it takes to have a good marriage and will do a much better job of choosing your next mate. That makes you a success in my book.

Thanks!

I hope to apply these concepts in the far distant future. Right now, personal recovery and going back to school:) And maybe some online shopping lol.

Doing mostly good. Definitely an up and down emotional period. I am mostly good during the work week keeping it together, but by mid weekend I am a mess:S Slowly, getting better overall. I am able to mostly function except on the odd day I stay at home and do not socialize.
Taking my time and not making any rash decisions about what I should do next. I took up art as well to express myself and have fun. Meeting new people as well in other cities so that has been a nice distraction.

Wanted to say, things a little up and down but overall good (each week is considerably better than the last). I have been really focused on my studies, going on and making friends and getting out of this town on the weekends. Keeping healthy with clean eating and working out regularly. I also cut out a lot of outings that involve alcohol, every now and then I have wine or one drink, but that is it:D (never had an alcohol problem but decided it was not allowing me to drop under 20% body fat)
I am spending more money going out and doing things, but I think it is good for me to get out and have fun and take a break from studying. Going to have to buckle down as the lsat is going to be in Feb.
I do not know if others agree but stbx and I are in contact. We spend one night a week just hanging out chatting, catching up (except for his dating life or who he hangs out with), eating and watching stuff. Other than that nothing else and it seems like every time I see him I do miss him afterwards. However, I just know that we could never work it out and it is for the best.
I am not angry at him or anything, well once in a while I think of something and I get a bit annoyed but I feel free and like I am moving on with life instead of being in limbo.

You need to plan B BH. The reason is you are giving him his weekly fix of you. BH is still a WW27 addict. You cut him off. Either he will disappear or realize he doesn't want you out of his life. At that point for the both of you it's all in or all out.

The behavoir that is going on is like trying to be just a little bit pregnant. Well you can't be 1/4, 1/2, 5/8, or 13/16. You are or you ain't.

You are right TheRoad. Someone pointed out that I am co-dependent before, so I really need to deal with it.

Plan B...all I know is that this is going to make BH more angry at me :S The right thing to do is not easy...

Mad at you? Naaa..... All or nothing.

I am in a similar situation (was engaged, not married. But in a foreign country where her moving out is more complicated. And since she has been by far my closest friend for years, it's hard to imagine how either of us will get through breaking up without each other's support, though I understand that will just make it worse in the long run).

I'm in no position to offer advice. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing the process you are going through, as it is helping at least one other person deal with something similar.

I am with Fred....pack up his stuff and stop enabling his bad behavior! Why would you beat your head against the wall....don't you like yourself? Don't you think you are worthy of better? If standing up for yourself is evil then Christ would have been over and over again for taking a stand for what was right!

If you allow him to take advantage of you any longer than you also have to take responsibilty for it and cannot be a victim.

If you accept someone elses opinion you better be able to settle for their standard of living!

Box it, bag it and throw it out on the lawn and change the locks!