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maybe you're terrified of losing your job because that's the last bit of leverage you have to keep this thing together. if you can't support your family in the style they're accustomed to, what's left?
all you'll have then is some plan to downsize and move, which your BW has already rejected.
I can see why you're so freaked out.
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More excuses. Sorry, that won't work here. You are not concerned about your family's "security" you are concerned about covering your own [censored]. What am I covering? I have already told all my family and friends?
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Sorry, melody, but that's B.S. Don't you DARE use that term about the advice being given to you by people trying to help your poor wife - and YOU, who do not deserve it. Don't you DARE use that term to people who are hurt for what Amy is going through, who post here to help the marriage. That term is an insult.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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maybe you're terrified of losing your job because that's the last bit of leverage you have to keep this thing together. if you can't support your family in the style they're accustomed to, what's left?
all you'll have then is some plan to downsize and move, which your BW has already rejected.
I can see why you're so freaked out. I'm the one suggesting we downsize and move. That makes no sense. Sorry, melody, but that's B.S. Don't you DARE use that term about the advice being given to you by people trying to help your poor wife - and YOU, who do not deserve it. Don't you DARE use that term to people who are hurt for what Amy is going through, who post here to help the marriage. That term is an insult. I apologize, but attack me for something real not something that's not. i will not take abuse for things that people are saying of me that are not true.
Last edited by Schlag; 11/02/11 04:33 PM.
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More excuses. Sorry, that won't work here. You are not concerned about your family's "security" you are concerned about covering your own [censored]. What am I covering? I have already told all my family and friends? More excuses.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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See, the bad thing about this wayward is that he is used to people believing his lies, rationalizations and excuses.
He has an excuse for everything.
Let us know when you get serious, Schlag, because this won't cut it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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read it again.
i'm saying that YOU are desperate to continue the financial support because if you lose that ability you have very little to make yourself attractive to your wife. she doesn't want to downsize and move, so you are scrambling to keep things as is job wise BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER.
and it's not enough.
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[
I apologize, but attack me for something real not something that's not. i will not take abuse for things that people are saying of me that are not true. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm still wondering what my motivation would be for not telling him, if it's not my job security. You're so sure I'm making excuses then please do tell me what my motivation could possibly be. See, the bad thing about this wayward is that he is used to people believing his lies, rationalizations and excuses.
He has an excuse for everything.
Let us know when you get serious, Schlag, because this won't cut it. Former Wayward. I'm serious now, melody.
Last edited by Schlag; 11/02/11 04:36 PM.
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I'm still wondering what my motivation would be for not telling him, if it's not my job security. You're so sure I'm making excuses then please do tell me what my motivation could possibly be. Because you are not man enough to face the consequences. We already know you are not worried about your job security. That is evidenced by your affairs. Your sudden "concern" is not convincing and won't work. As I told Amy, the fact that you REFUSE to make sure your victim knows what you did to him demonstrates your lack of sincerity. It is like the bank robber babbling like a gurl about how sorry he is when caught red handed, but refusing to return the booty. You are just sorry you got busted, in other words.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm still wondering what my motivation would be for not telling him, if it's not my job security. You're so sure I'm making excuses then please do tell me what my motivation could possibly be. See, the bad thing about this wayward is that he is used to people believing his lies, rationalizations and excuses.
He has an excuse for everything.
Let us know when you get serious, Schlag, because this won't cut it. Former Wayward. I'm serious now, melody. CURRENT. Any wayward who is still lying is a WAYWARD. You are WAYWARD. And like I told you earlier, talk is meaningless coming from a wayward. Only actions speak. Your actions REVEAL a wayward who is not sincere.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm still wondering what my motivation would be for not telling him, if it's not my job security. You're so sure I'm making excuses then please do tell me what my motivation could possibly be. Because you are a coward, of course. Why else?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am not a coward, melody. And I am not lying.
My only motivation here is the one I stated.
If Amy agrees that the risk of losing my security clearance is justified, I will write the letter to him tonight.
I leave the choice up to her because it is her livelihood too.
Last edited by Schlag; 11/02/11 04:45 PM.
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Isn't it funny how your family's "security" didn't stop you from having affairs but it stops you from manning up and doing the right thing?  You owe the man the truth and if you were sincere you wouldn't be here trying to weasel out of it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Isn't it funny how your family's "security" didn't stop you from having affairs but it stops you from manning up and doing the right thing? You owe the man the truth and if you were sincere you wouldn't be here trying to weasel out of it. Making that mistake 2 years ago does not justify making it again now. If Amy is okay with the risk, there is no other reason for me not to write the letter and I will.
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way to put all the responsibility of making a tough decision on her. GOOD JOB...not!
like i said earlier GET OUT OF THE WAY OF HER HEALING.
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I am not a coward, melody. And I am not lying.
My only motivation here is the one I stated.
If Amy agrees that the risk of losing my security clearance is justified, I will write the letter to him tonight. More bullcrap. If you were serious you wouldn't be trying to manipulate your wife so you can weasel out of telling your victim what you did. Like I said: NOT SINCERE.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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way to put all the responsibility of making a tough decision on her. GOOD JOB...not!
like i said earlier GET OUT OF THE WAY OF HER HEALING. You suggest I risk her livelihood without her concurrence? wow!
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Isn't it funny how your family's "security" didn't stop you from having affairs but it stops you from manning up and doing the right thing? You owe the man the truth and if you were sincere you wouldn't be here trying to weasel out of it. Making that mistake 2 years ago does not justify making it again now. If Amy is okay with the risk, there is no other reason for me not to write the letter and I will. So it is a "mistake" to tell your victim the truth? What kind of person thinks like that? A very, very wayward mindset. Like I said: NOT SINCERE. A person who is sincerely sorry would WANT to admit his crime to his victim. You only want to cover your [censored] by scaring your already devastated wife so you can weasel out of it. What kind of person does that? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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way to put all the responsibility of making a tough decision on her. GOOD JOB...not!
like i said earlier GET OUT OF THE WAY OF HER HEALING. You suggest I risk her livelihood without her concurrence? wow! You call this CHANGE? Do you think this is how a person of integrity behaves when he has harmed someone behind his back? Are you interested in truly changing? If so, stop with the weasel excuses and do the right thing. A person who is sincerely interested in changing for the better WANTS to make amends to his victims. He doesn't make excuses and he doesn't try to hide behind his wife's skirts by scaring her. When will you man up?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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