not exactly. Well, it was in my absence when we moved to Sydney and all her talking resources were cut off she used the hotel phone and the receptionist called and told me that there were too many phone calls being made from the phone which are very expensive. that is when I threatened her to tell that incidence to her parents. for which she cried and pleaded that she wouldn't talk to the guy again(that was my Marriage Anniversary Gift!!!). I dont know what to do. Should I expose it to all. I haven't yet done to any of my parents or any one else apart from her parents.

Yes. how long ago were the calls?

You should expose to her family, yours, close friends, and the other man's family.

should she know that I have exposed it? not all are educated and cant read. so how to go about that?

I am feeling so much pain through my stomach that I cant explain. If I do expose then how will I be able to show all the EN's to her?

Expose to whomever your can. You may have to make some phone calls if there are folks who cannot read. Exposure kills the affair. It frees you to fulfill her Ens because you are no longer competing with OM.

Here are some answers to questions regarding exposure .

Don't tell her you exposed the affair at least until after you have done it. It is best she find out on her own. It kills the fantasy and doesn't give her time to formulate an excuse or to warp the truth.

CV

Do not tell her until you have done it. Tell them you want to save the marriage and want their support.

Telling them will make her going back to India to be with the OM more difficult for sure.

one more thing concerns me is before our engagement when I was working I was close to one of my colleague but I stopped talking to her around 3-4 months before we got engaged and ever since our engagement she was not willing to talk much and even I was not aware of these things until recently I read here. I was wondering that because of our family constraints that we are not able to come close to each other.

Her mother knows about that I was close to this girl as she had written a letter explaining her love to my ww. I dont know how to go about these things?

Another thing is I promised her that I am not going to tell any one about the phone calls or ask any further questions to her regarding this. how can I keep my promise.

By the way the phone call happened in the end of Sept.

And If I do it now and tell them about the email id would that not alert her??

Can you reasonably be expected to keep a promise in this situation? What you can do is say that you have evidence of their affair adn if they need proof you can provide it as needed. As far as your talking to this girl before you got engaged, it is irrelevant to stopping the affair.

And also, the people we are dealing with now is coming from Indian Society. not sure how they take it.

the other guy in question is still not married I have his dad's number. So, Should I call his dad? what should I tell him as the man is still not married.and what to tell him if he starts supporting his son?

Tell him you will expose his shame even wider if he does not get his son to stop.

I don't know a lot about Indian culture, but I know that disgrace on the family would be great would it not?

Call the OM's father and tell him his son has been having an affair with your wife and you are attempting to save your marriage.
Yes, people will be in an uproar due to the culture BUT there are plenty of people in India who are involved in adultery so it isn't unheard of. It is common. People deal with it however they choose.
Your promise to her was made before you realized how much in danger your marriage was. You now know she is hankering after the OM. She is fantasizing of their relationship.
You are exposing her for your marriage and the future of your child. To save the little family. To fight for it.
That she will be shamed by the knowledge of others is something she both brought on and needs to stay away from the OM and, quite frankly, any country he is in.
If your marriage doesn't survive, to be involved with him (OM), your wife would have to do so with the full knowledge of his family, your family, her family, the neighbors who hear the conversations, etc.

Thank you so very much Folks. All your words are appreciated as they are so encouraging and I would now do it. but her parents are not in India so Ill wait for them to land in India tomorrow before I drop the bombshell.

one thing I have failed to mention all through my posts is she has always been promising to come to me and buying time. Although, her attitude and behavior has changed but she wouldn't let me close in. Not very much sure though how I would convince my ww that it was done to protect our marriage.

Hell is gonna break loose.......

I am trying to draft things about what all should I tell(?). still having some doubts about closing the options of my wife returning back if I do so(Yeah, I understand that she is not mine she has already broken the trust and the promise she made for our marriage). can some one please guide me about things like her adultry, I dont want to take off all my anger on them in anyway, but not sure how to tell them.

I would expose something like this:

Dear friends and family,

I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of Mr and Mrs Hitman. I have recently discovered that Mrs hitman has recently been carrying on an affair with a man who resides on XXX estate. I love Mrs Hitman and want our marriage to work, despite the horrible damage she has done to our marriage.

As our friends, I am asking that you use your influence with MRs.to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair and no longer contact him. Please support her in doing the right thing... Please support our marriage.

I would so appreciate your support and prayers.

Warmest regards,

Hitman

Thanks - I was more concerned about the adultry part of it. I am all convinced that she was involved in the adultry. should I mention the details or not? and just to mention here I would be making the phone calls.

Ok... You have proof, right? Admission from her and her mom?

I would say something like this:

Hi mom (dad, whoever you call),

This is hitman... I'm calling because I need some help. Wife has been engaged in an affair for X-amount of time. I have evidence if it is needed. What I need help with is for you to encourage her to stop cheating. I need your support because I want our marriage to work and am willing to work to that end.

Well, not her admission. first it was a note which she herself had written in the notepad about how she loved to play with his body. earlier didn't consider but eventually realized that it was a PA(not sure why I ignored this, was it love, was it trust that I didn't wanted to see all these things? I DON'T KNOW) and another email which the guy has written. so that leaves me no doubt that she was an adulteress.

Either way, you have what you need. Stat calling hitman. Be strong. You will need strength for this.

you are right celticvoyager, being away from family when you need the strength to do something you love for, for whom you can die for.

No dying for anybody or anything.
No wife is worth that.
No matter what.
Just do your very best to save the marriage. Do your very best to be a stand up father and aim to have zero regrets that you spoke the truth while doing so.

Understand that you will be okay in the end of the story. With or without the wife. You must be brave to fight for the marriage but in that bravery you must know YOU are worth a good life even on your own if need bel

I disagree. I have one worth dying for. Better to live for her though. Ita with all the rest.