On with blogging.

Plan B is high at the moment, as it is most days. I mostly concentrate on one step at a time. I have lots of parties and events with friends lined up over Christmas and that is good.

Though at a recent party, an acquaintance tried to register his interest with me by constantly trying to hold my hand. How weird is that? I set him straight, though.

I feel my house is 'triggering' me to think of WH, it's the marital home, so my friend and I are going to redecorate after Christmas.

I still havent done my divorce paperwork (tomorrow maybe) but I got 70 per cent in my maths test! I am a long-term maths dummy so that is such a big deal for me.

Indie...are you in Scotland? My XH is English and never said "maths" but my fiance and his children are Scottish and they all say "maths"! LOL!

Nope im from the North West of England, Liverpool. Most British people would say 'maths'. Where was your xh from? Ive only ever heard people from across the pond say 'math', dont know any of any English region which would.

Congrats on the test.

Want me to come and kick that guy for you? I could use an excuse to come across the pond.

Nah, but honestly have you ever heard of a weirder way to make your intentions known?

If he had SAID something to me, I could have said, look mate Im still married - Im definitely not dating. I wouldnt have been rude, I would have been nice and polite.

But when someone is trying to grab your hand, youre in this very odd position where you have to begin with 'what are you DOING?'

I dont understand men who dont just spit it out and give you an opportunity to give them a straight answer. Same with the whole 'Can we go out - as friends?' gambit when clearly you wouldnt be going out 'as friends' because um, you arent friends.

Maybe I am not understanding the stress of having to ask someone out because I have never done the asking, and I never intend to either.

But I do like to think that if I were the man, I would man up a bit. I would make my intentions clear, with confidence and without being pushy - and I would try to get some signal that the lady was available and into me before I asked.

And I would NOT just sidle up to her and grab her hand!

But some men just think that they are God's gift and all that. And how could you possibly say "No"?

Just cause I read a LOT of stuff about attraction and what not...its called KINO. Idea is you touch a woman and that signals intent, builds attraction and can be escalated.

Neak put me onto doing "drive bys" during plan A. If the wife is mad at you for exposure you touch and run. Same concept.

Good boundary you have for setting him straight quickly.

Thanx for that Reynolds. Now I am gonna need to go google something and learn again. HAHAHAHA And I was gonna go to bed. Meh, what's sleep good for anyways?

Pep, do you belong in a band? Tehehe. Must be those crazy MB names we all choose. Scotland was not my first name though. And as always, we get nicknames for our nicknames. Actually that happens to me IRL too.

I picked Brits Brat because, when I registered, I was still married to XH who is a Brit...hence, Brit's Brat. Ironically, on Saturday, I am marrying another Brit so I guess I can keep my name as it still fits! : - )

Indie, XH is from Surrey. My good friend (who I met on here...the vets may remember Lisa in London...yes, we still keep in touch after all these years) is in North London. My dear fiance is from Dundee.

I think touching your wife is a bit different to it being an opening gambit! Honestly, if the handsomest, nicest, funniest guy in the world was to try that when I am single it just will not work...



Woohoo! congrats for Saturday!

Plan B blogging is now getting difficult because most of the time, I feel very good.

I know this is the POINT of Plan B and the desired effect - but it just means I come on here to talk about my fairly ordinary day and general contentment and that I would really rather help other posters who are in pain than talk about myself.

Maybe that is why I am hearing from some posters on here that Plan B is a miserable choice! Because not enough of us are on here talking about the happiness of Plan B once we get past the pain...

The past few weeks I have laughed, I have had long conversations way into the night with friends, I have made plans, I have become my nephews and nieces favorite playmate once more. People are saying I have 'gotten my spark' back.

Like all good reporters though I am going to focus on the negative news of the day.

As I am not off the rollercoaster yet, I still have drops in my mood, though they are becoming miniscule. Yesterday I had feeling like I might want to cry. This is the first time that has happened in MONTHS - and I didnt even cry. The feeling was gone in five minutes.

Yesterday I also made a 'pro' and 'con' list for softlad as to whether he would still fit into my life should he become repentant. WHY I dont know. It actually started off quite level but then the con list took over.

I honestly cant believe I was stupid enough to do that. I stopped reading his horoscope and then I do that? No real side effects though. Maybe the list was more about me and my life though. About what I want and dont want. Perhaps I should simply have made a list about what I want for my life. That might have been more productive.

Though I have made lots of good social plans and things lately, I have gotten a bit disorganised, a bit lethargic. I am not moving on with my plans well enough. I still need to figure out what I am doing about my job, a budget and going back to school.

But I think that has more to do with working long hours in a job that doesnt really make me happy - than with softlad. The commute is killing me too and I need that time and energy to plan my new life.

Anyway I have a checklist of priorities that are aimed at making my life fantastic. I will continue to check them off my list, even if my energy is a bit low sometimes.

I feel like I should take a bow! Thanks meg!

Knew you would do it.

You don't have to have a problem to talk here though, and if it came down to it, being triggered by being here is not good for you either. Everyone I am sure is glad that you are adjusting to this.

I, for one, am not surprised. You have a good head on your shoulders.

What we do here is a free gift to you, and like all true gifts, there are no strings. We give out of our abundance and wish for personal mental and emotional health, we don't own the wisdom and knowledge. In a marriage, the bonding of two spiritually is so important, that people give the task of keeping two together to the power of love, and the author of love, whom/what-ever they believe it to be.

The God of your understanding..Love keeps it together.


If ever you want to talk about anything, we are allways here, as friends with no strings, no needs, because we are allready in good shape on those things.

Yay Indie

Thanks CP



Lets do this then.

1) Make a difference - hopefully through teaching
2) Make more money - hoepfully thorugh teaching
3) Stop spending so much time on the road by cutting down my commute. Hopefuly through... you guessed it
4) I want to have great friends and a warm, loving circle around me. I currently have this in my family and I have sorted the wheat from the chaff where friends are concerned - as divorce tends to do. Still I could do with meeting more people.
5) I want a fantastic, committed marriage with someone who is my best friend and I am theirs.
I would love to be a recovery story on here - but as peeps like Peachy have shown, you can do that even when your wayward shows themselves to be a lost cause. He would HAVE to be an MBer.
6) Children. I know the work involved is SCARY but I also think I would be really good at being a mum. And that I would regret not doing it.
7) Travel. There is a lot to see and do. And since there will probably be lots of time between now and the having to POJA with someone - I can go wherever I want!
8) Give writing a novel a really good shot. I dont expect to get published or anything. But I am never going to be able to live with myself until I have really tried - and finished something.
9) Spread my happiness around. Become one of the children of the light that finds it easy to extend a hand or a smile to others because their own lives are lived in such a way that it gives them strength.
10) But to not be afraid to hand out a 2x4 either where it is needed. Just like an MB vet!

Indie, I LOVE hoe you manage to put into words things I too have felt in Plan B. I have also heard people saying that I am doing much better, since I am starting to be a lot like I used to be. And you know what, there are times when I feel like I am not doing enough to change my life either, anymore. I think that comes from how much you had to change your life in the beginning stages of Plan B. It just doesn't feel like you are doing enough. I think that happens. You can't stay in that state of constant change for too long. Life needs to balance itself out. As long as you are still making a life without Softlad, you are moving in the right direction.

Your list sounds a lot like mine. Funny that.

I had a feeling actually that it might be!

Maybe I am your long lost sister. FINGERS CROSSED. I could learn to speak with a british accent.

ummmm prob not this one - I have a very regional scouse accent! Quite difficult even for other english people to do!

I think we're just on the same page in general (obviously the same thread page, but you know what I mean!)