I don't think that one will work for Android

The only other one I know of is eblaster for android and it runs $65, but is pretty easy to install and will give you some great intel. It will send you all text messages, phone logs and it will send GPS locations. It is at spectorpro.com

Brilliant! Can your son keep it a secret?

Google the name of your WW's phone and the word 'spyware' ("i-phone + spyware") and see what that brings up on your search engine.

GJM,
Just wanted to send you a pat on the back, you are doing a great job, it is your best move so far.........
Keep posting........stay strong............remember the OM underestimated "YOU"
jessi

Don't have a son do the application.
Don't tell the kids you are snooping.

It is too much for them to deal with and it is your task.

You can figure it out, I bet. They make them user friendly.

The kids know the phone password. I don't know it.

Has anyone's WS been affectionate, call, text, visit them, have intimacy with them? Or we're they just distant and mean?

It's common. She wants her crackrock AND her marriage. It's when you really step up and take the crackrock away (or the crackrock dumps her) that they go absolutely NUTS for more crackrock and will then become "distant and mean" to anyone that messes with their crackrock. As long as you are seemingly OK with her crackrock habit and you'll have her around...she's fine with being nice to you.


It's ALL about the crackrock at this point. S

I'd say sometimes part of the allure of crackrock is a future together as soulmate schmoopies and in order to effectuate that future they need to be mean and distant with their husbands from the get-go because that's what crackrock expects and wants. Other times...there's obviously NO real future with crackrock and crackrock doesn't care about anything other than a few minutes/hours with your wife a day....a week. In that instance...she has free time to keep you hanging around and appeased such that she can maintain the status quo...TODAY.

Addicts don't care about tomorrow.

Mr. Wondering

When the A is dead, and the WS still doesn't know if they want the marriage, is that when plan B is put into place? I am obligated to support my W because the military won't allow me to cut her off or take the kids away from her. Is there anything I can do on my own to save my marriage? I am making my plans so they go smoothly.

Mine. Well...I visited her place but we did have sex.

My wife vacillated from being downright cruel to being "a good wife". Much of it in retrospect really depended on how hard OM was pushing her, or simply how her day was going in her head... I don't think it's all that uncommon for this.

CV

reading, he can't figure it out because they are separated and GJW has no access to her phone. That is why his teenage son is doing this. I disagree it is too much for him to handle.

This doesn't sound right to me. Have you talked to a jag? When I was in the Corps, I knew of 2 guys that got custody of their kids and were able to cut off their wife because of their infidelity.

CV

Her goal is to keep you servicing her by "being friends" "for the children." This helps assuage her guilt for sticking it to you. The ideal situation is to have you servicing her and being her "friend" while she carries on her affair in secret.

As long as she can keep you as her "friend" she won't have to face the consequences of her cruelty and she can keep you in her service.

I don't understand. No divorce has been filed so you are under no obligation to give her any money. Nor is there a court order mandating she gets to drag the kids out of their home like that. I would allow her visitation, but I would not force your kids out of their home just to accommodate her adultery. That is not fair to the kids. I don't think you should cut her off from the kids, just give her very limited visitation rights that does not involve dragging them out of their home.

I'm not sure when you were in, but times are very different now. My command is supporting my efforts and are trying to help me any way they can. They said that it's usually the H that is the POS and aren't used to dealing with situations like mine. They said as long as she doesn't complain about support or signs the settlement agreement (which is part of divorce and not wanted by me), then they won't enforce anything. If she calls and complains, I would have to pay $200 per person minimum per month. If I serve her the divorce papers, she would then sign the agreement and we would have 6 months to reconcile if there would be any hope left. That in affect, doesn't say that I want to save my marriage, but it does take a stand and say I'm not going to put up with infidelity any longer. It would also allow me to then cut her off and let reality sink in for her because I have taken care of her for so many years. I paid all the bills and handled the finances. Of course I made my mistakes along the way and tried my best to not make the same mistake twice. I never hit or cheated and I spent a great amount of time with the family. My W is holding on to resentment from the past when we were in our early twenties and she always let things build up before exploding. I would never be able to correct anything that bothered her because some times I wouldn't even remember what it was that I did due to her not telling me. In 2009 I even went to counseling for PTSD to make sure that I wasn't messed up from the war. I did that for months. My W said that I stole her life and she never got to have fun like normal 20 something year old's. I tried to help her make friends by having couples come over, but she was never interested. I asked her if she wanted to go to school, but she said she barely graduated from HS, why would she go back to school. Now she wants to have a career and go back to school and mingle with new friends. It's ironic actually. Her apartment is 1 mile from me. I have been checking on her frequently. I even go by her work, which is just down the street from our house. I know what hours she works and when she goes home. She doesn't stay up late because she wakes up at 3:40AM. Her windows of opportunity are very small to carry on a relationship. If she is able to meet up for quickies, that definitely isn't going to grow into anything special. Can it happen? Yes. I'll be vigilant though and keep spying. I have been reaching out to get her family to support our marriage. I know it's a 50/50 chance that they will.

I was in in the late 80's through early 90's. My wife's last A was with a Marine (yippee!)(07/08). Talked a lot about policy with his command. I was under the impression that the corps had a zero tolerance policy for adultery and thpought it extended to spouses. I may be wrong though.

Keep strong. You are getting great advice here.

celticvoyager,
Adultery is not tolerated, but the military cannot punish spouses. And being in CA, I'm double screwed. If I was in GA, I would have the law on my side.

Quote

This may sound dumb, but I was thinking of giving her the divorce papers so if it doesn't work out, I won't have to start the 6 month wait all over again. Or should I put that on hold?

No, not dumb at all. And as you stated in a later post, it shows clearly that while you want to save your marriage you're not going to stand for what she's been doing. You can stop a divorce at any time all the way until you sign on the dotted line.

Have you been to the Judge Advocate on base? Could save you some money for just advice, and save your money if or when you need to file something in family court. It also makes it so that your wife would not be able to use the base legal services if they have already advised you, she would either have to go to another base JAG or spend her own money for civilian legal advice/representation. Kind of a poison the well strategy, put as many roadblocks in place.

It's good that you are thinking and doing instead of just letting it happen to you - keep it up!