HI K, long time since I have seen you post. <BR>How about an update on marriage and on the new baby?? <BR>Nothing like putting you on the spot. Happy Halloween! cl

Hi cl,<P>I composed a nice long note and then the server went down yesterday afternoon.<P>Noah is doing great. 10 months old, and he's daddy's pride and joy. He's also a daddy's boy right now, so that makes it pretty easy. The rest of the family is doing well---kids are doing great in school, they had a terrific halloween, etc.<P>My wife and I continue to make progress in the marriage. At this point we're fine-tuning solutions to the issues that we hadn't been dealing with for so many years. I'd give it a "9" on a scale of 10.<P>So, that's what's up. I see that things are going pretty well with you too---that brought a smile to my face.

HI K, thanks for the great news!! <BR>I have a notion that Noah is going to be a pioneer type. Just get the feeling. Part of the learning I was to get from all this affair nonsense was to listen to my gut and my heart! So, I am practicing. <BR>9 out of 10?! That is just marvelous. I am very very happy for you. Very rough road to take to paradise in my opinion but valuable learning experience none the less.<BR>My h and I are fine. He made arrangements to have our wedding vows renewed last week. All a surprise to me. I thought we were talking to the priest, wore jeans. I was not physically dressed for the occasion, but was so thrilled I think it mattered little. Looking forward to having the last reminder of these tough times put behind me with his surgery in a couple weeks.<BR>Still learning and still growing, but not near as fast as Noah!! Thanks K.<BR>

9 on a scale from 1 to 10?<P>I'm jealous!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Don't be too jealous Sheryl, we had a "1" kind of evening last night. It's the first time in ages that we both slipped into the "old" patterns---I've been sick (which doesn't help), and our oldest was a handful and a half---being very angry and defiant.<P>But the nice thing is that these skills also work to make a "save" as well. As a matter of fact, I think I'll call my wife right now and tell her how much I love her...

K- A 9 out of 10 and your aren't shouting from the rooftops????(O.K., I understand about the occasional 1, but people here need to know that MB works). I'm a little early in the recovery process to shout yet.<P>What a great update.<P>Blessings,<BR>LIZZIE<P>p.s. to cl, my h. keeps mentioning wanting to throw a millenium party with all our close friends and family around to hear him say "vows I understand because I write them myself". I'm with you, I don't care what I'm wearing when he says them!<P><BR>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Liz Smith (edited November 03, 1999).]

cl,<P>That's terrific news about renewing your marriage vows. I'm so happy for you two!!<P>One of the good aftermaths of all this is that we both have become very involved in our church. My wife even attends weekday Mass at least once a week. As you said, it's a very rough road, but the destination is great!!!

Hi K and CL<P>K. I am right there with you on a 9 out of 10, and I am "happy" to hear that is "normal" to slip into your old ways. We had a slip this week and I got so saddened by it. Would you agree that the higher you balances get, the more painful the lovebusters become? I think so. I was so sad that we resorted to our old habits, I said to him, "we should know better!", and we do....but I think crisis times are the hardest to get into your new ways, but it is getting better.<P>K-I am glad that NOah is going well. How's night time? Still nursing?<P>------------------<BR>You will be stronger because of this.<P>

Sally,<P>Noah's been done nursing for a couple months now. What that has meant for the last week is that Dad is getting up and bottle feeding him 2X a night (usually midnight and 4am). He seems to be going through a growth spurt---either that, or he's doing an excellent job training me to feed him when he wants some comforting.<P>We're planning to move him out of our bedroom soon---hopefully, he'll be able to start sleeping through the night. Our first was trained to make it through the night at 3 months old. Our second seemed like it was 3 years old before she was sleeping. I'm hoping Noah is going to give his old man a break soon... <P>I agree with you that the "lovebusters" of old seem so much more worse now---we're not desensitized like we used to be. What was more shocking was that our oldest noticed this as well---so he's been "sensitized" to the fact that we haven't really fought in almost two years. The good news is that with high lovebank balances, apologizes and forgiveness are much quicker in coming.

K,<BR>What a wonderful update. You've been an inspiration to me many times--I just wish I had used that inspiration many more times! .<P>My oldest didn't sleep through the night until she was 7 years old. She's 14 now and still tends to wander around at night. The kid needs very little sleep.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P>

K<BR>I can totally relate to you with the rooming-in thing! Both of ours were in our beds until they were two! Not good for the sex thing! But, on the positive side, we have to well adjusted, very secure kids. "co-sleeping", or Family bed, while not without controversery, is a great parenting tool. <P>Keep plugging away, K.<BR>You are a great inspiration to all of us here. Thanks for helping me, and so many others! <P>------------------<BR>You will be stronger because of this.<P>