Hi This is my first post I really believe in MB and Dr. H concepts, after 11 yrs of marriage to a wonderful wife, I was in My MBA program and met someone who eventually became a EA, although at the time I did not know that a EA was just as serious as a PA, my wife found out about my EA and had a one time PA, with a former BF from 12 yrs ago. Although 2 wrongs dont make a right at the time both of us wanted to divorce, when she told of her PA, i immediately moved out to a friends extra house and went plan B although i didnt know what that was at the time she didnt want me to leave and wanted to work on our M and i was very upset that she had a PA when all i had was a EA that could have led to a PA but i chickened out and stopped all contact with the OW. She felt so guilty about her actions she immediately told me what had happened when she was visiting her old hometown. At the time i said lets roll meaning i was going to confront him about his sleeeping with my wife, my wife said that she was the one that started it and he told her afterward that he wanted to work on his M and that he did not want her to contact him anymore so basically he went NC as well she did . I told her that if she wanted to be with me then she would have to have no contact with what so ever and if i found out i would D her. about this time i stumbled upon MB and read all about the concepts and program and shared this with her we were also in MC although leaving separtely as a matter of fact we had two therapists both female that were in taraining at the local university for marriage and family issues. Although a lot of peoplee say not to go to MC we both were willing to get our M backthey were wonderfull therapists and really helped both of us work through the issues that we were dealing with and also we were using MB concepts as well such as joint agreement and LB, I hn July of the last year i moved back in and boy what a change we both feel that our M is stronger than ever we make time for each other and for 2 d ages 7 and 10. Whats strange is that we had to go through this in order to get to where we are today. We both have transparent lives i know her emails and pw facebook password etc and she knows mine. A former ex of mine found out we were having problems and immediately started texting me which i showed my wife and we both put a end to it and have not heard back from her. I just wanted to give others on this thread that no matter how much doom and gloom it appears its not over till its over and keep the faith.


Me-FWBH 49
WIFE FBWW 35
together 12 yrs
Married 11
D-10
D-7
I love my wife dearly

Paragraphs help.

Thanks Fast_Forward for that last comment. Keeping hope is a daily battle, somedays good, somedays bad, but always have to remember to carry on and that others have forged this trail before us and made it to the summit. Thanks again.

FF, I'm glad to hear you're using MB and getting your M back on track. If you've been reading here, you'll know that one critical component of making sure the affair remains dead is to make sure the betrayed spouse knows about the A. Did you tell OM's wife about the affair?

What about your affair partner? Does her spouse know about your EA?

MB
No I did not contact OMW at the time my wife had a ONS and confessed the following day and said that she wanted to work on our M upon hearing the confession I immediately moved out and left her and our children due to how angry i was, over the course of time I decided that I wanted to work on our M as well that was when i discovered MB.

She begged and pleaded for me not to move out and was very remorseful about her actions. I was just upset and could not handle being around her at that time. She did do a NC letter that i approved of and she mailed it to him.

As far as my affair I had broken things off in April when i graduated from MBA program. During the MBA program I met a woman who was single and 25 and she showed me alot of attention which my wife was not currently doing I was pretty impressed that being 49 she was attracted to me and would constantly flirt with me in class. This lead to the EA that could have gone PA very easily however much as I was tempted I decided that a D would cost me too much, and I really wasnt looking forward to the dating scene at 49 yoa and rebuilding my finances and losing my family in the process.

My wife knew that something was going on during my EA as i had become very distant with her spending a lot of time on the computer saying i was researching things for school when i was actually pming OW. Eventually i confessed to her and that is what i feel made her cheat on me anyway we both decided that the grass isnt greenier on the outerside and decided to put our M back together.

Me-FWBH 49
WIFE FBWW 35
together 12 yrs
Married 11
D-10
D-7
I love my wife dearly




I have provided my spouse with a very good life and have been successful in business the OM in this case doesnt even come close and i believe my spouse felt she was going backwards or affairing down she was just mad at me for having a EA and wanted to get back at me as i said 2 wrongs do not make a right and we both knew where we belonged.

OMW must be told today.