How did all of you get passed the affairs you dealt with? It's all I think about. I'm forcing myself to have sex with him so he doesn't look elsewhere but all I do is picture him with the OW. I don't have any self esteem left and I can't imagine ever being able to trust him again. I know it takes time but I don't feel any better after 3 months!!

Sosad,

What plan are you working? Do you have kids? How long have you been married?

3 months is not a lot of time for recovery from an affair. What has he done to make you feel safe and loved? Does he have boundaries in place that make you feel secure?

Has he been working to meet your emotional needs?

How many times an hour are you spending for UA time?

CV

Recovery isn't for everyone. Its a long hard road but he should be making it easier for you. It will take time to forgive. Make sure you're spending 15hrs a week on your own.

sosad,

In MB forum, it is better to keep one thread, makes it easier to help you when we know all your background. You can notify moderators, they will merge your threads.

As your question, there are some prerequisitives for recovery.
1) Absolute no contact between affair partners: this seems to be accomplished
2) Remove all triggers: this is far from necessary
3) Plan for recovery: MB plan is the best.
4) Very important - TIME: even if 1)-3) are ok, it will take 2-5 YEARS to be fully recovered. You are very very early in recovery, just few months (I hope your WH does not tell you to "get over it already").

You will feel somewhat different in 6 month mark - but be warned, many BS-s will have an "anger" period around that. I did.

Another critical time is 1year after d-day. Many are angry again but if you do not start to feel better then there is something missing (I refer to points 1-3).

After 2,5 years, I can say that my marriage is better than before the affairs and it is still improving every day.

shannon, the other poster is right - please stay on one thread. Your posts will still be read and the posters will have your whole story for background.

You did not make it clear to these posters that you work with the Other Woman. That makes a big difference. As we told you on your original thread, this continued contact will hinder your recovery. You need to leave that job, or OW does. You will be continually triggered when you have contact with her. The drama she has created by lying about you has poisoned the work atmosphere further. You are working in toxic soup. That needs to change before you can truly recover.