Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 19 of 107 1 2 17 18 19 20 21 106 107
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
They were smart enough not to text or call each other. Communication was through email. I'm trying to find something that will log everything, especially web and email content.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
GJ, tell her to install eblaster AND the cerberusa app. That will give her alot of intel plus a built in GPS.

I will tell her. Thanks


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by GJM
They were smart enough not to text or call each other. Communication was through email. I'm trying to find something that will log everything, especially web and email content.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm think eblaster will tell her about any web-based accounts he visits and that might lead her to his email account. But I don't know of any that log emails.

With the eblaster she will have GPS and with cerberusa, she will have the ability to BUG his conversations. That will give her ALOT right there.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
They have to be meeting up so she would be able to get proof if she has a GPS and a voice recorder.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527
Likes: 9
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,527
Likes: 9
Have a look round our spying forum!


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
She has a GPS locator on his phone. She just needs something that will show email addresses. I found some other programs that she's looking into. WW tried to tell me to lift the MPO so we could all move on with our lives. I said if you don't care about him, then what does it matter what happens to him. She said she didn't think about his family at the time and she doesn't want the guilt of them suffering because of her. I responded with: cause and effect. You both said you had so much to lose in your emails so you were aware of the consequences of your actions. What about our kids? Did you think about them? She said our kids will eventually get over it. I said wow.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by GJM
She has a GPS locator on his phone. She just needs something that will show email addresses. I found some other programs that she's looking into.

Let me know what you find out, ok? If there is a such a program we can make a post about it on the Op Investigate forum.

Quote
WW tried to tell me to lift the MPO so we could all move on with our lives. I said if you don't care about him, then what does it matter what happens to him. She said she didn't think about his family at the time and she doesn't want the guilt of them suffering because of her.

It's in his family's best interest for him to be held accountable for his wrongdoing. That will help him be a better man in the future and learn his lesson. It is very clear that the affair is still on and he is pushing her to get you to stop the investigation. That is one of the smartest things you did. smile

Quote
I responded with: cause and effect. You both said you had so much to lose in your emails so you were aware of the consequences of your actions. What about our kids? Did you think about them? She said our kids will eventually get over it. I said wow.

I guess the OM's kids "will just get over it" too, huh?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
My only problem is Thanksgiving. I have the kids for the week.

"Having" them is not the problem. "Not Having" them would be!

Enjoy your week with them. As difficult as it will be, do NOT let them see you as anything but upbeat, comfortable in your own skin and actions, and bestowing upon them all the careful attention that they will require. I don't care how much YOU are hurting, amigo; they have the potential to be hurting a whole spitload worse.

We have often awarded "hero" badges to BSs who carry the load for themselves and their children. You have the opportunity to earn yours. (In the best cases, the returned WS has superseded OUR hero award with a more personal one. That should be your aim.)

Avoid answering the "why" questions about the situation. Quite frankly, you do not yet have the answers yourself, so stay with the standard, "Married couples should do what is required to handle any issues internally, NEVER going outside the marriage for what should be managed inside."

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
GJ, what are you having for Thanksgiving dinner? Do you know how to cook?

I think you should start focusing on your CHILDREN and creating a happy, stable life for them without their mother. They have been hammered by her selfish, self destructive behavior for so long.

Can we help you figure out a Thanksgiving menu?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
I do know how to cook. I follow instructions very well too. I am playing cards with DS8 and talking to DS11. DD13 is on the computer. Everyone is happy and enjoying not being in the 1BR. I'll gladly accept menu ideas. I also need dinner ideas. I can make spaghetti, chili and rice, steak, tacos, brats, and chicken items. Anything on the grill is easy as well.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Thanks! And for Thanksgiving we will have turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and apple pie at the minimum. I can handle those (I think).


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Stuffing! A box of Stovetop is easy and tastes delish!







Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Just make sure you remember to take out the giblets and neck(sometimes they are at both ends). I knew to take out the giblets from TV shows, but I forgot the neck the first time I made a turkey. Learned my lesson now though.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Lol! Thanks for the tips.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
I'm about to make spaghetti for dinner. Should I send an invite to WW?


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
Hard to say. It would be the plan A thing to do. Don't make it anything other than a quick note and act as if all is well if she comes. Do not talk relationship stuff if she comes.

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Well sent the invite. I texted would you like some dinner..no response so I assume not.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
Good job, GJM!

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
That's all right. You're doing well, keep it up smile

Regarding Turkey Day: the biggest tip I have is to do some of the prep work the night before so that you don't have to be so hectic the day of. You can peel and cut the potatoes, prep the turkey and make the stuffing [It's pretty easy, please don't make stovetop! *cringe* ~ sorry, reading smile ]


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 835
Have to step in here as an emergency response. (T/J)

Stovetop ROCKS all year round! It's a seperate food group just like potato buds are. Get real with these perfect foods, people! Bahahahaha!!!

Page 19 of 107 1 2 17 18 19 20 21 106 107

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,254 guests, and 50 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5