Plus God might use him as a messenger in heaven. With the kind of training and marathons Fred seems to do, sounds like he'd be good at it!

Let's not forget that Pheidippides, the original marathoner, died after running the 26 miles from Marathon to Athens and announcing "Nenik�kamen!" (victory!).

I don't think I'm quite ready for that!

Yeah Fred, lets not get that enthusiastic. The war is over.

Hey Kirby....just thinking about you and wondering what you told the man in your divorce group who asked you out.

The man has not asked me out. I think he might at some point. His divorce was final less than two weeks ago.

I've been thinking/praying about dating in general, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to wait until my divorce has been final for a year before I accept any dates. That plan makes me feel safe, but I wonder sometimes if "safe" is always the right thing to do.

Divorce group meets tonight.

There is nothing wrong with coffee in an open place where you buy your own cup.

I just had another moment to think about your words

"The man was divorced less than two weeks ago."

An utter sadness came over me for him. My life is taking this path. The sadness seems so real. He probably had a time in his life when he was really happy, and now it has come to an end.

Just opining away!

Tough he isn't necessarily sad! You are sad right now, but you won't always be. I promise it gets better.

I was married for 26 years---I went through a VERY ugly breakup...and now, 2 years after my divorce is final I am VERY happy.

I agree. I was sad DURING my marriage. I became less sad after my ex moved out of the house. And I've been pretty dadgum happy since the divorce.

My friend from the divorce group was pretty sad when he found out that his wife was sleeping around. But he kept his house and has 50/50 custody of his kids. From some of the things he has said about his marriage, I think he knew it was a mistake a long time ago but was dealing with it because of the kids.

Tough, I've got a gazillion kids, too. (Well, actually five.) And I'm sad for my kids that their dad is a jerk. But, they are happier now than they were when I was married to their father.

Ditto to this. Except I only have one child.

I am better now. My marriage was miserable.

I know - I am still in the process of taking on my WH's failures. I am slowly learning this isn't mine to own. It just feels today there is no headway with this divorce stuff. Marriages are falling apart left and right, and people move on to the next.

I just don't know what to think of it all. I just don't know how to accept yet families fall apart. It just doesn't seem right. The travesty is no one seems to care. The wayward just moves on to the next.

I watch your thread Kirby because your Wayturd and mine are alot alike, and you have many kids as well. I can see where your personal recovery has gotten much stronger.

When did you know you never wanted your Wayturd back? I laid in bed this morning and this rush of emotion came over me. My WH isn't coming home. He really did this.

Have a great day! Tough

Not Kirby but want to say that I had some very dark days. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I lost 25 pounds in less than 6 weeks and I was already thin! I got down to 112 pounds and I'm 5'6". My neighbor was practically spoon feeding me to keep me alive. She would make me a plate and bring it over to me. I remember one day she was making her family burgers and she called and asked me what I liked on mine...she fixed it all up with everything I asked for...and I was able to eat 1/4 of it. But it was sure delicious.

Oddly, I kept on caring for my ds. I cooked for him, I cleaned, I schooled. I was a robot though. It was hard Tough. But you will get through it and feel better soon. I know there are people on here who think dragging out the divorce is best for you...but I don't. I think you need to get divorced and have that legal closure and find some peace. What helped me at times was to think of my WH as dead. It was a trick I played in my mind so that I didnt' stay angry all the time. It sounds silly but it really did help. I don't have to do that now....because I am better.

(((Tough)))

Hmmm. I had quit loving him a couple of years before the divorce started. He had treated me (and the children) very badly for many years. The only reason we were still married was because as a Christian I felt that I could not get divorced without Biblical reasons.

Himself moved out of the house in the fall of '08 to try to pursue a closer relationship with the OW. She must have turned him down because he was ready to move back home in just a few weeks. Eight months later I asked him to leave. At that point I was not planning to divorce, I just knew that the children and I could not live like that any longer. He immediately started dating the OW, and he stopped financially supporting the family. Fortunately, we had a large emergency fund that I could live on.

I finally realized that he could claim to be a Christian all he wanted, but that his actions told a different story. And that he could claim that he wasn't having an affair with the OW, but his actions there also told a different story. So I realized that I DID have Biblical support for ending the marriage.

I honestly had wanted to be away from him for a very long time, but I was trying to make the best of a really bad situation. From the day I asked him to move out I have never wanted him back. I have had times when I worried about being alone and lonely for the rest of my life, but I'd rather be alone than with him.

Wow. That is my story exactly. Except my XH never stopped supporting us financially...court ordered but still...he did always follow through on that part.

I agree, whatever you can do to press the issue and get this resolved. I am sorry that you are going through this. I will be praying for you.

gr8tquotes, I think you read down to the bottom of the first page and missed the rest of my thread. That was back in February. My divorce was final at the end of March and I'm doing really well now. I appreciate the prayers, though, as the kids and I go through our first Christmas since the divorce.

Oh, great, I am glad to hear that things are settled down. May God grant you peace in the coming year!

Divorce and holidays = yuckiness!

My former MIL sent an email asking me to send the children to her house on Christmas Eve for the "family" holiday get-together. That is my parenting time. And what's more, WXH hasn't seen the minor children in over two months. He hasn't seen the adult children since Easter of 2010. The last "interaction" between him and one of the adult children is when his lawyer sent a threatening letter saying that he was planning to add her as a party to the legal issues because he wants to file contempt charges against her.

Those people annoy me.

Are you going to send them? Do they want to go?

Adult children don't want to go. I forwarded the email to them and told them it's their job to get in touch with her about it.

Just asked the minor children, and they don't want to go. My youngest (15yo) said he wants to get presents, but the 17yo said "No" without mentioning presents. If they had wanted to go, I would offer to WXH to swap Christmas Eve for me having all day Christmas. Since the kids don't care, I will simply tell former MIL that she needs to coordinate with WXH during his parenting time.