PW a very thought provoking thread.<P>Indeed whatever the combination of circumstances we find ourselves in waffling is not an option. We each think we are committed to a plan but find our emotions getting the better of us and sometimes thinking of divorce. By eliminating it as an option we are more likely to stay the course and be successful.<P>My wife has been like Doc's and filed for divorce 2 weeks after revealing her affair. She has not waffled and the steamroller continues. I live in a fault State and have always felt I could successfully fight divorce, but for what and for whom?<P>This person I am divorcing is not my wife in personality and is only my kids biological mother. My lawyer says the Judge looks for divorce cases to be settled amicably so that the plaintiff can get out of the marriage and does not look kindly on those who don't want divorce. Nevertheless my lawyer told the judge I didn't want divorce, but were proceeding with negotiations - waffling.<P>I have since decided to stop waffling, let her out of the marriage on satisfactory terms and get on with my new life. By not making divorce an option in my case but an inevitability i feel a great weight lifted from my shoulders and I am looking forward to the future.<P>My wife on the other hand will have to wait out a messy divorce of the OM and has wwhatever to look forward to. If she ever comes around from the fog we will see how things are at that time. Divorce is not an option helps here to.

Beth, I said I would like to keep him from filing. He know I have no money to do so and I was afraid he would figure out away to get money to file. By my saying I would and then take my time (no money) then I can keep it from happening, I hope. I don't want the divorce if he file I will not have a choice due to the way it is set up here. ugh! So I like I said I was just trying to keep it from happening so that this affair will have a chance to run its course and/or he wakes up from lala land.<P>------------------<BR>di<P><p>[This message has been edited by SDS (edited November 03, 1999).]