GOOD HOUSEKEEPING REPORTS


Want to know the secret to a long, successful and fulfilling marriage? Good Housekeeping has the answers, thanks to best-selling author Iris Krasnow�s latest book, The Secret Lives of Wives.

Krasnow, a journalism professor at American University, spent two years interviewing more than 200 married women to learn how to keep the marital partnership strong, permanent and fun. Here are five top tips for going the distance long after you promised each other �happily ever after.�

Have secrets � One of the chief tenants of Krasnow�s book is that every marriage is entitled to a healthy amount of secrecy. This does not apply to harmful activities (adultery, for instance) but rather to the �secrets of your soul that aren�t hurting anyone else.� Krasnow writes, �No one knows what�s really going on in a marriage except the two people in it. That gives each of us the freedom to write our own rules and keep our own secrets.�

A marriage should run on multiple tracks � Marital success is not, Krasnow asserts, about depending on someone else. Instead, each spouse should allow for self-growth, whether in a career, through special hobbies or pursuing fun with a group of pals. �When you go out with your friends or your work is pumping you, you are pumping your self-esteem and your sense of accomplishment,� Krasnow explains. �When partners are each growing on their own, they have a better shot at growing for a longer time.�

Act like a kid again � As young adults, it may have been easier to chase your bliss simply because you had more time. But rediscovering an interest from your youth in your married life can build more confidence, both in yourself and in your relationship, according to Krasnow. �When you resurrect a childhood passion that is yours alone, you feel worthy. Everyone needs to feel like they�re worthy.� Greater self-worth leads to greater happiness, and the happiness that you build for yourself is crucial to a wedded couple.
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Keep your friends close � It�s terrific if you count your husband as your best friend � just make sure you make room for some best girlfriends, too. Krasnow�s research affirms that the women with the highest marital satisfaction stay connected to a group of women who spice up their social life, provide laughs and offer support for the peaks and the valleys in their marriages.

Spend time apart � Who says girls� night out has to just last an evening? If your idea of relaxation is a trip to the spa and not a day on the golf course with your hubby, Krasnow recommends the occasional vacation apart. �After some weeks apart from each other, removed from the grind of ordinary life, marriage seems hotter than the tepid state in which you left each other in.�

Oh la la!