I posted here about a year and a half ago about an emotional affair that my husband had had w/a woman who worked for him. Neither he nor she changed jobs but he vowed to break things off w/her. It took him a long time for them to stop sending cutsey flirty emails back and forth. That caused a lot of conflict between us - horrendous fights when I'd confront him - and who knows how their face to face interaction went. Even this past April, she accompanied him on a work trip out of town and I knew she was there but he denied it until I told him I knew. He lied b/c he didn't want me to be upset (isnt that kind?) But based on what I see in his work email, I don't think there's anything going on............................BUT it has come to my attention he has another female"good friend at work" thru looking at his emails. She sends him funny emails, political emails, forwards of every sort, off color jokes, shares her feelings (she was widowed w/in last yr) and he initiates stuff as well. Latest was a joke about a man asking for a quickie. They used to ride to gym together but I put a stop to that and then she asked again last week if she could get a ride. confronted him about this stuff and he says he understands and will stop itl But I'm not sure he really said what needed to be said. Because she sent him a email last night about a show she was watching and someone he must be interested ing was on it. She sent it a midnite. Am I a prude? Is this appropriate? Then I looked thru his phone tonite to see if he calld or texted and I didn't see anything except that the midnite text was deleted and I think they texted b/c when I pulled up text, a previous text from her was up and the keyboard was pulled up (it's an iphone). Any conversation had been erased.

I'm so upset I can't sleep, hence I'm here looking for answers. He's very attentive and loving to me in every way at home. I don't know what to say and how to say it.

Nothing has changed since you were here last though. What actions have you taken? Did you follow any of the previous advice you received?

Fifty something, why don't you install some spyware on his phone? Either flexispy.com eblaster at spectorsoft.com might have the right software for his phone.

Get the goods on him and then come back here. We will help you with next steps.

He did stop sending any personal communication to the woman he had the 1st emotional affair with. He is still in the job, which I hate! But says he's looked and can't find another w/the economic times as they are. The first OW was transferred out of his direct supervision during the summer.

He swears he loves me exclusively and shows that much of the time, it's just that I can't stand to see stuff like that pass between him and other women esp given his track recordl

I've been reading about spying tools on the other topic and think I should do some of that but have some technical question about the iphone.

I read a post that you can pull up old texts through iTunes when you sync the phone. Try doing that.

The texts appear in the itunes folders?

What operating system do you use?

We both have apple products. He has a laptop, ipad, and iphone. The ipad and iphone are synced up w/his computer at work. I have no access to it.

In that case, I'd try to install an app on his phone that can spy for you.

The problem is not a specific woman, but that your husband has inappropriate boundaries around women. That is what has to change. He has to change his lifestyle so he is not working with women because be cannot be trusted. That is where you should start.