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You havent exposed yet G6?? .... why not? ... what are you worried about? By not exposing .. you are not only disrespecting your wife and your marriage but your children as well. What will your children think when they find out that you didnt tell them after you knew for so long .. You are lieing to them and to everyone else by not exposing. Lieing by omission. You are feeding their fantasy and bending over and taking it willingly.
Your marriage CAN and most likely WILL survive her blow up when she finds out you exposed .. just let it roll off your back and do not respond to her when she does .. however it CAN NOT .. I repeat CAN NOT survive if you continue to allow your wife and OM to do whatever it is they are doing behind your back. Stand up! Put your Foot Down! Do you let your children get away with misbehaving if they get mad at you? if not .. then what makes you wife any different. She will get over it and later when her emotions calm down, will respect you for being THE MAN.
Please sir .. if you value your marriage and your wife and children .. get the exposure done ASAP. Do not delay!
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I was thinking of talking with OM tonight with my WW with me. Would that be a good idea or no? No. You seem to think you are dealing with reasonable people! People who give a darn what you want or have to say. They will gang up on you and gaslight you. Plus giving your wife permission to be around the OM - even with you there - is like saying he is a person who deserves any of your time. He is persona non grata. He needs to get dumped with an NC letter. He needs his whole family and set of friends to hear about the affair. He doesnt need a chat. Can we just get on with exposre?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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sorry
Last edited by Pepperband; 12/02/11 11:51 AM.
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Hey i tried to Quote that! I LOLED!
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Hey i tried to Quote that! I LOLED! It was funny, but crude. (and TRUE !)
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Hey i tried to Quote that! I LOLED! It was funny, but crude. (and TRUE !) I'm sorry also. I wish I had seen that post. I disappointed that you got scared.  I'm too tired. I can't rant no more. 
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I can't rant no more. Venting vs ranting ???
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i saw the post .. and hit quote .. but when my page finished loading .. it was already changed .. lol ... great way to start a friday .. with a good laugh. Sorry you missed it TheRoad. It happened in the blink of an eye. Pepperband is fast!
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How can she top doing IT with the OM for the umpteeth if not umphundredth time?
BH tell us.
Enquiring minds want to know. BH doesn't have an answer. But agrees that doing nothing and not fighting is making her loose respect. I was thinking of talking with OM tonight with my WW with me. Would that be a good idea or no? I'm sure you're going to say no, just expose. I do like the thought of exposure. I'll tell you, just to be open about it. What makes me a little leary is it seems to be the ONLY answer/option here. I'm not saying I'm against it and certainly not trying to get everyone yelling at me Just askinga question. No good can come of this. OM will gloat, whether or not he admits doing your WW he won't stop. This will only make you weaker then you have ever appeared in either of their eyes. WW and OM don't care about you. And I hope you have at least learnt this that you can't teach AP's that what their doing is wrong. However you can make them face consequences that make the affair costly such as exposure. The consequences of exposure forces the AP's to face reallity and teach themselves what they are doing is wrong. I hope you noticed the difference between the two previous paragraphs. If not I'll point out a clue. Who is teaching who?
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i saw the post .. and hit quote .. but when my page finished loading .. it was already changed .. lol ... great way to start a friday .. with a good laugh. Sorry you missed it TheRoad. It happened in the blink of an eye. Pepperband is fast! Never thought I'd call pepperband a name....... Today is the day pepperband became a keyboard coward. I'd rant, but as previously stated, too tired.
Last edited by TheRoad; 12/02/11 12:09 PM.
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Just wanted to say that this guy is not serious, folks. He is wasting valuable board time that could be devoted to those who are serious about saving their marriages.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The road .. if i could PM you .. i would tell you what it said .. but it kinda of smelled like turds...
G6 I hope you REALLY take to heart the seriousness of this matter and realize how darn important exposure is. Please see my post at the top of page 39.
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Giraffe, why don't you come back when you are serious about saving your marriage? There is nothing more to talk about. All of the answers you need are on this thread already.
We have people on this forum whose marriages are on life support who really do want help. We have board members who are close to nervous breakdowns and some who have lost their homes. Please don't take up valuable board time when there are people here in need.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Insanity = doing the same thing over and over and expecting (or , in your case hoping) for different results. Fair answer Pepper, thanks! Like I said, it was just a question/thought. I appreciate the feedback. Giraffe6
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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Just wanted to say that this guy is not serious, folks. He is wasting valuable board time that could be devoted to those who are serious about saving their marriages. Mel, I always appreciate that you have stuck around and not bailed on me. You have the right to your opinion, but you are wrong on this one. I am very serious about my marriage and have been open about being scared. Being affraid does not equal not being serious. I have no intention of waisting anybody's time.
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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Mel, I always appreciate that you have stuck around and not bailed on me. You have the right to your opinion, but you are wrong on this one. I am very serious about my marriage and have been open about being scared. Being affraid does not equal not being serious. I have no intention of waisting anybody's time. Your lack of action demonstrates the truth, giraffe. Talk is cheap. You are wasting valuable board time that could be spent on folks who are serious. Everyone is scared. Everyone. That is not an excuse to do nothing. But when a person REFUSES TO ACT, it is clear he is not serious. If you want to be taken seriously you need to ACT SERIOUS. You have not lifted a finger to demonstrate any such thing on this board. A person who sits on his [censored] and does nothing is not serious. As we say in Texas, money talks and bullsh** walks. So far, I have only seen bs here.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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MrNiceGuy, I read the post on page 39, thank you!
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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I just went outside for a few minutes to call a friend and to just think. Ok, I am ready to expose, still just as scared but I am going to do it! Thank you to everyone on here for sticking with me. Some of you from day one!
Pray that I follow through with this and that I don't mess it up.... Pray for me and my family.... please!!!!
Me: 46
Wife: 44
Married 24 years
Kids: 4
PA began about 2 years ago.
D-Day: August 2011
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MrNiceGuy, I read the post on page 39, thank you! Your welcome .. I really hope you stand up and be the man. Being scared is OK .. but being a doormat is not. You will get lots of respect when the storm dies down for your actions. Especially from anyone who is PRO marriage in your life and family. Anyone who is agasint you for exposing .. did not have your best interests in mind anyhow and are not much of a friend to your marriage. Exposure will show you whos on your side of this war .. and who is not. Take notes...
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As far as whether or not to �talk� to OM goes:
Unless it involves a couple of punches to the face while you tell him to quit f-ing your wife and then afterwards taking all of WW�s crap and throwing it into the street while telling her to straighten up or leave, then it isn�t a good idea.
This works only if the WW feels guilty about what she is doing and the OM is a complete coward. The downside to this is the possible legal ramifications, though you wouldn�t want me on that jury.
You will only make yourself look weak and pathetic by trying to ask politely that he stop screwing your wife. He won�t stop, even if you say �pretty please.�
I hope you�re serious about exposure. It�s the only hope, G6. Do it.
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