Seriously. It's gone beyond fantasy into physical. There is no instance in which it is EVER ok to touch another person's spouse.

I have notified the mods about this thread.

1. Tell the wife
2. Cut off all contact whatsoever with this man. Never see or talk to him again. You can not be friends.
3. Never allow yourself to be "just friends" with a married man again.

Just do it. Don't whine about it, just do it.

If you will follow this plan, you're going to find that your relationships in life will be a lot more rewarding, and you're going to avoid a lot of heartache!

Why is this married man being nice to you?

He wants to do IT with you.

Last don't you value yourself enough to give yourself to someone that would cheat on his wife?

Don't be a cockroach at the table of some other woman's life...

That's a good one. Not trying to be mean, but are you a cockroach? You're not married, yet you just joined a marriage builder's site and now posting to discussion forums for "married" people who would like to work on their marriage. Why are you here? Is it b/c you know someone else may be on here and read this, like perhaps, the wife of your foolish crush??? Don't be a cockroach and get stepped on by the married man who is just looking for somehing new. And don't get sprayed with bug spray by his wife. She may be on to you and you may end up on your back with your legs in the air, lifeless.

I got an idea ... walk up to the married guy. SLAP HIM so hard across the face his wife will notice... then tell him to go the $%^@ home to his wife and stop being an azz. THEN send a letter to his wife .. explaining to her that her hubby is off looking for nookie on the side. Tell her he almost had you convinced but you realized it was wrong and had to send him home and you never want to see him again.

Is that too harsh?

When you say that he talked about his wife, what did he say exactly?

The bottom line is this:

If he does it with you, he�ll do it to you. You aren�t some special unique flower that he�ll abandon all other flowers for. He�ll use you now and enjoy it and move on once he has you if you successfully destroy his marriage.

Here�s the reality: You�re having a physical affair. Kissing is physical and crosses the boundaries of emotional affair.

How do you stop this?

You never speak to him again and you don�t make friends with married men. You make friends with a couple, if you make friends with anyone, but you never spend one on one time with a married man.

Please wake up and stop this childlike naivete. You can�t be �friends� with a married man, especially one you want to screw.

Amen. I think you should also come clean with yourself about how flattering it is to be "friends" with a married man.

He has made the ultimate commitment to this woman. He must really love and admire her to have done that.

And yet you say to yourself: 'But what if I am BETTER than she is!'

'If he picks me - that will really prove my self worth!'

'Oh I feel pretty! and witty! and bright!'

Sorry but when married men go shopping for mistresses, they tend not to look for better, they tend to look for dumb.

I am not saying that you are, understand - just that his attention is no compliment.

He might just as well walk up to you and ask you to prostitute yourself for free.

He is spitting in your face and laughing about you to his friends.

My psychic powers tell me...

"Things haven't been the same in a long time"
"She ignores me"
"We're not physical anymore"/"In different bedrooms"
"The marriage died long ago"
"In it for the kids only"
"I am missing the passion in my life"

Any of that sound familiar, OP?

A man who cannot respect his first wife will never show more respect for the one he has an affair with. Or do you think you can change him because you're special?

Absolutely, because they themselves know that any woman worthy of respect would never do what she does.

And no, I am not a betrayed spouse OP, I was you many years ago, before I wised up.

If a married man hits on you, he has not flattered you, he has insulted you. It is the highest insult because he has indicated that he believes you are so dumb, so cheap and so desperate that you would take your panties off with him.

It amazes me that some women don't COMPREHEND they have just been insulted. These silly women walk around, high on the fumes of false flattery, and can't see the SPIT on their own faces. They have just been spit in the face.

Married men don't leave their wives for an OW. Why would they ever leave their wife for a cheap woman who puts out so freely? They don't!!

It amazes me that some women don't COMPREHEND they have just been insulted. These silly women walk around, high on the fumes of false flattery, and can't see the SPIT on their own faces. They have just been spit in the face.

Ditto!! They are so high they don't realize that while they are giddy over the trinkets they receive and possibly a few bills paid here and there, most likely the wife gets the real deal...the house, the car, whatever else she wants. and if the wife decides she doesn't want him anymore, she still walks away with more b/c she can collect during the divorce and she is rid of the scumbag...two birds killed with one stone. and then she gets to sit back and enjoy the show b/c he will eventually do the same thing to the mistress.

ARGH!!! TRIGGER!!!

We'll be looking for her to show up here. You should see all the neat stuff we have to help the poor wives whose husbands are thinking with their crotch and rutting with nasty other women.

Oh, yes, indeedy....

Let me help you, here, charmed:



All better? Got your head screwed back on straight now?

Thanks to those whom gave me some good advise.
The guy mentioned before anything started that the wife and him are having a good relationship. They have been together for 19 years or so. I didn't purposely fall for him. He did tell me the reason why he didn't sleep with me s because he is my cousins good friend.

I ain't asking how to keep this fellow by my side and I ain't interested in continuing it. I'm feeling very bothered by it. I just need some advise for me to manage my emotions. We went out in a group so it wasnt like oh let's go for a date or I wanna have sex with you.

I understand where many of you are coming from. I never expected it to happen its been only 3 days and in feeling [censored] enough. We stopped msging. The last he told me was that he liked me. However, one thing I must say believe it or not, based on the friendship we have before this affair he has been telling me the truth.


I like him yes! He likes me yes too. But it's wrong. And I'm trying to deal with it. I want advuse and support that's why I'm here. I'm sorry if it didn't sound this way.

Btw we last spoke earlier today few hours back. And I guess we won't be meeting. Both have decided to not get things worst. Lastly, men there are plenty but I didnt intentionally fall for him!

No one falls into an affair intentionally. Do the right thing. Tell his wife. When you are a wife some day, you will want to know if your husband is cheating on you.

You had the "courage" to fall for this guy. Have the integrity to admit you made a mistake and you want a clear conscience.