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Yes, he is hiding SOMETHING. But WHAT and WHY? Should I fear for my safety if I find out what he's hiding? Who knows? I had a good case of food poisining last night and I cooked dinner so I know it wasn't something he did...lol In the meantime, I couldn't help but look at him funny. He never acted concerned about me being sick, even with the mop in my hand. Even this morning, he was like, "what made you throw up?" is your stomach queasy? Never asked, not one time, how are you feeling? Are you better? BTW...I know I'm not pregnant b/c he made sure he got himself "fixed" before our baby turned 6 weeks old b/c I refused to get my tubes tied. That was another thing I forgot to mention earlier. I also think he made his ex get hers tied and that's why they didn't have any children. I remember him telling me a long time ago that he paid for her to have surgery b/c she didn't want any kids, but he did. I have heard from others that she had gastric bypass surgery as well b/c she was overweight. Maybe he manipulated her as well. Who knows? Honestly I'm getting creeped out just reading about your husband. You have to decide what you can live with. I would hire a locksmith and find out what is in that closet. Maybe you can even get a key made and lock it back without your husband knowing you were even there.
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I would hire a locksmith and find out what is in that closet. Maybe you can even get a key made and lock it back without your husband knowing you were even there. Like! +1
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Imagine if you had to live with him??! Like I said, when I confided in my sister, she just thinks I sound crazy. But she's the type of person who doesn't think anything of a situation until 10 other people bring something to her attention. She's so nonchalant and seems to be oblivious to her own situation at home. Me, on the other hand, I read a lot and I try to research things that I don't quite understand. This situation I find myself in is so unusual to me. I have never experienced anything like this before and it is starting to consume my thoughts b/c I haven't figured things out yet. Yes, I'm worried about my situation and my child. I can't turn my back or leave her alone. It's not a good feeling. I just don't want to be in another failed marriage and maybe that's one reason why I'm hanging on.
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Will keep you all posted. In the meantime, pray for me and my family that there is nothing serious going on behind my back and that we are all kept safe.
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for gastric bypass surgery you have to be majorly overweight.
me, DH
5 children
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not something like just 20 pounds, so I don't know what the other wife looked like...
me, DH
5 children
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from the pics i have seen, she was VERY heavy at one time...now she is VERY thin.
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Honestly I'm getting creeped out just reading about your husband. You know, I haven't even really thought about the bimbo that her husband is seeing. To me, that sounds somewhat minor compared to the other "stuff" that she's living with. I hope that made sense 
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Yes, he is hiding SOMETHING. But WHAT and WHY?
The why he because he likes to control you and do whatever he pleases without considering you. You can find out by getting a locksmith as others have indicated. If that is too risky, get a PI to discover what you need to know about his daily activities. A man who has secrets in the marital home definitely has them outside too.
Should I fear for my safety if I find out what he's hiding? Who knows?
Well, you should know this. If you have ANY fear for your safety, any at all, get yourself out of there, go to a shelter if need be.
I had a good case of food poisining last night and I cooked dinner so I know it wasn't something he did...lol In the meantime, I couldn't help but look at him funny. He never acted concerned about me being sick, even with the mop in my hand. Even this morning, he was like, "what made you throw up?" is your stomach queasy? Never asked, not one time, how are you feeling? Are you better? BTW...I know I'm not pregnant b/c he made sure he got himself "fixed" before our baby turned 6 weeks old b/c I refused to get my tubes tied. That was another thing I forgot to mention earlier. I also think he made his ex get hers tied and that's why they didn't have any children. I remember him telling me a long time ago that he paid for her to have surgery b/c she didn't want any kids, but he did. I have heard from others that she had gastric bypass surgery as well b/c she was overweight. Maybe he manipulated her as well. Who knows?
OK, so we have ascertained that he is controlling and puts his feelings first, ignoring yours. What are YOU going to do about that?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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RESEARCH *Personality disorder , narcissism, emotional abuse for a start. You may get a few clues about where he is coming from.
Good Luck and Best Wishes
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Hi Abigail,
What is new in your situation? Hope everything is okay! Where you able to get access to your finances and the closet?
ba
Me-49, WH-51
Married 02/1983 yrs, Sons - 27, 26, 20
1st PA - 1985, 1st known EA - 1992/1993
2nd PA - 06/02 to 11/04
1st D-day - 09/03, D-day 2 - 10/04 D-day 3 05/08
NC e-mail - 11/04- it wasn't real
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Hi Beginagain...Thanks for asking. We had a discussion about it last week in which he was really defensive about it and stated that that's just the way it is. I'm sure I will have a better update at a later time. He told me that he "knew" I was at his job that week the girl was there but has not told me "how" he knew. Anyway, he is coming home a "little" earlier now (not much) and we went shopping this past weekend. I think he is trying to get me back to a "comfortable" place so I will let my guard down and put my antennas away...lol. I know I need to relax and act like I don't suspect anything...which is so hard for me because I have a quick tongue and will speak my mind. However, I am hanging in here for now. Take care.
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Come here to vent if need be
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Hey Abby,
What's your plan, do you have one?
ba
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Update: Nothing much has changed other than me cutting up about him hiring this girl. We had planned to meet for lunch one day to pick up something for our child. He tried to get me to meet him somewhere, but it was too late. I was already at the office. I walked in and spoke to everyone. As we were heading out the door, the girl said, "Have fun" twice. I almost said something but I didn't. I told him he needs to get rid of her and that HE is the reason why I dislike her. She was not qualified for the job, has no experience and failed the test that the company requires. Went by there another night and everyone else was gone, but her. She was in the back for about 10 minutes. She finally came to the front and I asked him, loudly, what was she still doing there. He suddenly had to make a "buiness phone call" to kill the awkward silence. I am really starting to resent him. Ugh!
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Hey,
Glad to see you back! Did you open up his closet yet? What about all the privacy issues, did you address that yet?
ba
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The latest: He claims she finally passed the test and he is not going to fire her. Funny thing is, he failed...he failed to get rid of her, he failed to take my feelings into consideration, he failed to treat me like a partner and right now I just don't like him period. I don't care about this relationship anymore. I'm just here until I get back on my feet. I know this is a marriage building website, but I don't think mine is worth it any more. Best of luck to everyone else!
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The latest: He claims she finally passed the test and he is not going to fire her. Funny thing is, he failed...he failed to get rid of her, he failed to take my feelings into consideration, he failed to treat me like a partner and right now I just don't like him period. I don't care about this relationship anymore. I'm just here until I get back on my feet. I know this is a marriage building website, but I don't think mine is worth it any more. Best of luck to everyone else! Abigail, don't leave! Your H is cake-eating. This is typical. I haven't read your thread - I'm going to go back and catch up. But don't make any hard decisions right now!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Jul 2010
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The latest: He claims she finally passed the test and he is not going to fire her. Funny thing is, he failed...he failed to get rid of her, he failed to take my feelings into consideration, he failed to treat me like a partner and right now I just don't like him period. I don't care about this relationship anymore. I'm just here until I get back on my feet. I know this is a marriage building website, but I don't think mine is worth it any more. Best of luck to everyone else! So is the mysterious locked closet still locked? And the unidentified wires are still in the attic? Did you ever get answers about these things? Is his behavior still as "off" as it was a few months ago?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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The latest: He claims she finally passed the test and he is not going to fire her. Funny thing is, he failed...he failed to get rid of her, he failed to take my feelings into consideration, he failed to treat me like a partner and right now I just don't like him period. I don't care about this relationship anymore. I'm just here until I get back on my feet. I know this is a marriage building website, but I don't think mine is worth it any more. Best of luck to everyone else! What are you going to do? Go to a shelter? Do you have pics etc of all the weird stuff in the house? VAR recordings of his abuse? You should see a lawyer pronto.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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