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Joined: Aug 2001
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SEM:<BR><B><P>Zorweb,<P>Thanks so much for your understanding. It is funny, KS doesn't seem to listen to how I feel when I try to tell her what I am going through, but she sure listens when someone else who is going through it tells her the same thing. I think maybe she feels I am being irrational or crazy, and needs to see it is normal, in order to believe that I honestly am not just trying to be unfair. <P>I don't want to cause more problems between us, I just want to know there won't be more problems in the future. Hard to do I know, but I don't want to be led into this with more lies again. This is my last hope, I have told her I will not do this again. I feel this is her third chance, and I will not give her another. I left the door open for her to come forward with more info, but I explained that if I find out on my own I will be done. I sure hope I won't find more, but I feel better when I start a lead (on what I think is something) and it turns up nothing, I start to overcome the fear that she is still lying. Hopefully trust will find its way back into our marriage. <P>Thank you all agian.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I do listen to SEM, it's hard not to when he repeats himself five times a day, everyday. It may look like I am not paying attetion cause I hear it so often that I feel I am being treated like a child who doesn't understand. I feel like I am being repremanded. I do understand that a marriage doesn't work if there are lies between it. I understand that we can not get close if there are lies between us. I understand that SEM can't believe a word I say because of past lies. But it makes me feel like a child. I know I brought upon myself, but I would like to feel like a person and not a child. I have told him everything. I wish I had a way to prove it. I pray to God to help us. I have nothing to hide.<P>Can anyone answer this?, How long does it take to build trust?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 98
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><B>That is a great post...it would be useful for BadHubby right now, too.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Lurking, and just stumbled upon it. Thanks for thinking of me.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Ok, I just checked our e-mail on our AOL account and she erased several e-mails. This is hard to keep this short having to explain everything, but I'll try to give a brief summery. <P>The e-mails she erased were to and from a long time friend who no longer lives in our area. These e-mails were the ones that led me to believe she was still lying about more As, and in turn how I confronted her a week ago and she admitted to 3 more As.<P>Ok, my point, she never earases sent mail, and I looked today and there were 3 e-mails sent to him still in the sent box yesterday. Today there was only one. I looked in the in box and looked for the one he had sent back and it also was earased. I then went into the recently deleted mail, and it wasn't there. I don't or can't believe that it just happended that only his mails were deleted from all of those areas and she claims not to have deleted them That only makes me feel she is hiding something.<P>I just talked or should I say argued with her over the phone and she denies deleting any of the mail from the sent box. I know some of you will say just let it go, but I just can't. I want to move on with no more lies. I don't want to get 3 more months into this and learn more again. I would rather leave her now rather than go through this a thrid time. <P>Is there a way to retrieve permanently deleted mail? If not how do I believe she is telling the truth? I am having a hard time because it seems everytime I have this gut feeling it is correct, at least so far. I don't want there to be more for her to tell, but I don't want to continue if there is something she isn't telling me. Nothing has changed....
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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I know I brought upon myself, but I would like to feel like a person and not a child. I have told him everything. I wish I had a way to prove it. I pray to God to help us. I have nothing to hide.<P>Can anyone answer this?, How long does it take to build trust? She's good, very good. That's why you have to look at ACTIONS, not words of a wayward! POLY!
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