I had a good weekend. But now I'm exhausted. I spent way too much time wearing 4-inch heels.

Went to two parties and a play. While at the play I saw some old friends and was able to tell them that WXH had an affair. (I did not find MB until I was well into the divorce process and never did any kind of widespread exposure.) It felt very good to get the information out there.

Kirby ,

So did Himself respond to the X-mas request the MIL wanted????

I know they could have been more supportive of you during the D, but been on the high road as best you can should reap you good returns. I would hope the GP's would be a good influence on the kids and want to love them and be part of their lives. It might even help himself become more active in his parenting.

I'm off to spend the next week with my boys, nothing on a settlement agreement yet from the lawyer.

It's been weird. Himself had a counseling session with the boys' therapist last week. He called and talked to our youngest son that day. He has not made any further attempts at communication since then. I talked to the therapist earlier this week and told the therapist that I would be glad to help facilitate scheduled phone calls. I haven't heard back from either Himself or the counselor.

The grandparents are difficult people. They live 40 minutes away, but have not seen the kids since last Christmas. They don't seem to be interested in being involved in the kids' lives. I haven't heard anything from Himself about Christmas visitation. According to the custody agreement, he gets them on Christmas Day.

SC, what did your accountant say about timing of the final divorce?

Sounds like Himself didn't fall far from the tree...... like father like son

As for me my accountant said to wait til after the 1st of Jan to do it for tax reasons. So I expect will be in court on the 9th as planned. Still no word on our settlement agreement though........ that's got me nervous

Merry Christmas, y'all.

I'm here to confess. I am an evil, evil person. I am tempted to do something really mean to my WXH. I am tempted to put in an appearance when he shows up to drop off presents tomorrow.

I have avoided him as much as possible since we separated. But, I've lost 30 pounds and started wearing heels that make me taller than he is. And I'm tempted to let him see me looking tall. And hot. Is that too mean?

It isn't mean but it might bite you in the tush.....so don't seek out him seeing you.
If he saw you without planning, so be it but don't plan it.

Chance will let him see some day soon enough.

Just always look smoking hot for yourself!

Merry Christmas, y'all!!

Thanks for all the support you've provided me this year!

Of course, you could always post a picture here...

Just kidding.

Nothing "humbug" about it. Lift your head, keep your chin up.

And if the high heels add to the self-image, so be it.

Merry Christmas!

Kirby I have lost 76 pounds. My WH has not seen my new figure either. I do get tempted to show him a peek because I was dumped for a porn star look alike. I am feeling very proud of my hard work because I have a ton of kids.

Each time I get tempted I come back to the reality that I want my WH home because he wants to come home. Granted I look better than his wife of his youth now, I still don't want his wayward butt anywhere near me. I want a repentant and remorseful man willing to enjoy my new sexiness.

I recently saw pictures of him. Wow my WH has aged. His wrinkles are more prominent and he had dark circles under his eyes. The greatest change was the color of his eyes. They were almost black and looked soulless. My husband in those pictures was not my husband. The color of his skin is different, and he just looked tired and worn out.

I looked at a picture before the adultery and there is a huge difference.

I then I realized the betrayed spouse comes out much better in the end. We didn't lose our soul. We made ourselves better. We grew into great people. We learned from our mistakes and learned from this adultery nightmare.

I may have been dumped for a porn star wh0re, but I didn't lay down and die. I picked myself up. Lost 76 pounds and plan to come out swinging in the end.

Someday he will see me. We have small children together. Someday he will realize his wh0re was just an exterior skank and his wife was the real deal.

I made it out alive. I am surviving adultery, and soon I will come back to the boards to talk about how I thrived after adultery. You can go out and also let them know you survived adultery and divorce. You will thrive now! It is your time.

Something I haven't been able to do in 15 years is dance. My husband hated dancing. I love to dance and cannot wait to get out there and dance again.

I say take your sexiness to the those men who will value and cherish the whole package. Take that sexiness out there for all the public to see. I bet you will attract the real deal in the end.

I haven't heard from my WXH in a month. Before that he went 2 months with no communication. However, I came in from a meeting and he had been on the phone to our 15yo son telling him to pass a message to me. Poor kid didn't understand the message, but felt responsible for everything anyway.

I'm just really down today. One friend of mine was just diagnosed with Ovarian cancer and another friend's infant had open heart surgery today. And it's January. Blech.

Sorry to hear about your friends. Funny how after so long there are still those down days. I'm glad that you have a fighting, persevering spirit. You've lifted a lot of our spirits, and I hope we can lift yours. Peace.

Thanks. You have lifted mine.

WXH sent an email. He is demanding a response tonight. He wants me to let him drop some of the kids' insurance. He is offering me money to get me to agree. I don't think he remembers that he is still required to cover those medical expenses whether he has the insurance or not. It's very tempting to tell him that I will take the cash, but not remind him of his obligations. Seems awfully unethical, though.

Kirby,

I'm sorry it's been a bad day for you. As for himself, such a typical move to send you a e-mail that requires an immediate response on an important issue. I would take the high road, I know it's not as fun at times but it pays dividends in the long run, and if nothing else you know you handled it right.

You'll have less to worry about that way.

SC

What does that mean? And why are you up so late?

I'm obviously stressed and exhausted. You meant to do the right thing instead of taking the money and then demanding that he pay the bills, too. Duh.

I mean the right thing is to tell him if you took the deal he would have to still pay. or the easier way would be to just not respond that way you would keep him out of trouble.

You know you have no need to be pressured by a last minute deal.

That's himself trying a fast one

and yes just about to nod off

Goodnight.