Does anyone know what the standard way of splitting things up is after an extended separation? No kids. Example if the house was under water at the time of separation and it is under water now (at a different depth). after separation one person is paying down loan to afford a refi, etc. Do you go with the value at the time of separation or now or the time of close?

or does anyone know a good site that has this type of information. i could not find anything that did not look like a bunch of spam

As far as I know it's 50/50 unless someone can prove one thing or another. I'm no expert, they'll be along shortly.

Was it a legal separation? Or just that you stopped living together?

I am in a different state, but for my divorce everything was valued shortly before mediation which was over a year into the divorce. Separation had occurred almost a year and a half prior to that. Another factor may be the date when the divorce was filed. Since everything is specific to your state and the laws can be really convoluted, you really need to ask your attorney.

Whether you go by the date you started living separately or started filing taxes separately or actually filed a legal paper is up to all sorts of grey areas.

If you can sell the house and make a profit, a judge will split the profit equally. If you lose the house, whoever's name is on it will have their credit report damaged. The only other way for one party to have the house to them selves is through a separation agreement. If you can't agree then you will have to split it or take the loss. As far as furniture goes, if you can agree to split it up, that's the best way. If not, you will most likely have to sell it and divide the money once again. Anything bought after separation belongs to whoever bought it and anything bought before the marriage belongs to that person as well.

Thank you for the replies. Yes, I understand the CA is 50/50. It was not a legal separation, i was told and did lots of research and there was not much of a point to bother with it. I did speak with a lawyer 2 years ago and she told me that there should not be a problem to set separation date as the date you go from to track things. Obviously not official or final and is much harder now that it is two years later.

Nobody is going to have any issues with the house or credit. I have been paying the mortgage myself for the last 3 years. If we sold the house at the date of separation and paid all the related fees in selling - it would have been under water. Now at this time it would also be under water but to a lesser amount. Note this is if you count all the realtor fees, etc.

It seems grey as you said 'reading', any thoughts on precedence and what is fair regardless of what side?

You just ought to find an attorney who seems like a good choice and get the ball rolling and see where it lands.
Hopefully you come out in an okay place.


(it sucks, it does)

I think i am going to roll with what i suggested to her and see how it ends up. can always queue up later. just want it all to make sense. found a couple OK articles on property and stock options tonight.