Ok I have some questions and concerns that are tough to think about but reality is reality.

I have posted in surviving an affair here:

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2575772&page=1

Hope links works ok. Anyway I hope you don't mind me posting here as the divorce hasn't really started but seems like will happen.

I just don't know my odds for anything and really need to try to have some sort of plan formulated for either way the marriage will go.

Children, house, finances - what happens with it all. My number one concern is our children. I honestly want full custody as I feel she has left them too and hasn't cared for them as she should have during all the PA's and EA's for the past 2-3 years. She barely would even say ok to joint custody with them although I don't see that as a good option now. I know it will just be an all out fight.

Am I being selfish in thinking or wanting myself and the kids to stay in the home and her to be the one to leave and pay child support? I feel she chose this, not me. She thinks the kids will not be affected by all this and I disagree in a big way.

It is hard to really consider all this but hope you don't mind me posting this here and getting some sort of feedback. She is the main bread winner, as she makes almost double my salary. I work just as much, just she is a RN working weekend nights and I work normal week days with decent salary for where we live. I feel I should have a plan for the future of my children and myself.

OSP

Pepper and the others on your SAA thread are giving you spot on advice. You are way to early in this process to be thinking of divorcing. If you want to save your marriage, and I know you do then the best advice I can give you is to say focused on a stellar Plan-A

Having a clear plan of action will help you feel better, give you hope and accomplish the goal of saving your marriage, if in a few months or year you see yourself with no hope of recovery then we on the dark side will be happy to help guide you thru.

I think your marriage has a great chance of recovery........... IF you stick to the advice you are getting, the only thing I would add to what they are telling you is to keep a journal, start it to day, it will help you see the progress you are making, in addition in a safe place I would keep all evidence of the A's,

So stay the course with Pepper, and the others, hold a firm but polite line with the WW. Be a MAN protect your family !!!!!